Went to weekday Mass and was ill received

[socalscout]

I took my 1 year old to Wednesday Mass and we sat in the back. For those of you who do not have children you cannot tell a 1 year old to be still or quiet. You can only occupy his time. Well I let him walk around the back of the Church where he frolicked like a child does. No crying whatsoever, just happy little yelps and big smiles.

Cute as can be if you like children...if you like children. Apparently some do not because an older gentleman from the other side of the chapel stormed out of Mass and told me as he was exiting that my child was a distraction. I said nothing but a prayer for him. My wife told me to say that Christ does not find him(my son) a distraction so why does he and then I should have quoted the “suffer the children unto me” line from Scripture.

I will be there next Wednesday in the same place. Maybe that is God’s way of getting me to weekday Mass.

Edited March 17, 2005 by socalscout

[theculturewarrior]

I'm conflicted by this post. On the one hand, I think it's refreshing that this parish demands silence. In my diocese people are so loud you hardly have a chance to pray....sometimes even in the Adoration Chapel.

But on the other hand, I think you have been wronged. Jesus said to let the children come unto him. How can you judge a one year old child? You would be most welcome in my diocese, but you might miss the quietness in your own!

[Pio Nono]

JMJ
3/17 - St. Patrick

I don't know the whole story, but I just wonder how these people would react if they ever went to Rome, where it is normal for ADULTS (much less kids) to be running around the church, talking on their cell phones. Also in Rome, people will walk their dogs in and around the church. I'm not condoning any of this, I'm just saying that if a [i]one year-old[/i] is a distraction, these people haven't ever happened upon a distraction.

Take your kid to church.

[Colleen]

A priest once told my mother when he heard little children crying at the back of church, it was a sign that the parish was healthy. He was happy to hear their noise. I think it is unfortunate that that gentleman walked out. Clearly he has forgotten that Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

Keep bringing your child to Mass.

[aloha918]

yes i can definetly see that happening......i am in a youth group and i thin that most of the parishiners like us....but i feel that many think that we get in the way......who do you think will run the church after they are gone?

[socalscout]

[quote name='Colleen' date='Mar 17 2005, 02:57 PM'] A priest once told my mother when he heard little children crying at the back of church, it was a sign that the parish was healthy. He was happy to hear their noise. I think it is unfortunate that that gentleman walked out. Clearly he has forgotten that Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

Keep bringing your child to Mass. [/quote]
I took the same child(I have two) when he was six months old to Mass at another Parish and he started to fuss so I went in the entrance hall area(I always forget what that is called) where I walked him around. The monsignor, who is a walking cannonized saint in my eyes, was hanging out there and he came to me and berieved me for not letting my baby boy join the "choir of children", as he called them, in Mass.

Adults should respect other's need for silence but babies are not held by that rule, in my opinion, and I will not deny my child the celebration of the Sacrifice just because he is a "distraction" to some. I will, however, do what I can to honor their need for silence.

Maybe I will sit farther from that guy next week.

[Ash Wednesday]

I like it when churches have crying rooms, myself. :infant:

I actually don't think the man's complaints would mean he didn't like children necessarily -- maybe for whatever reason he just felt like the church was being used as a playground. But at least you were nice enough to stay in the back. I've been to masses in Spanish and some of the parents wouldn't do much of anything about their kids. The kids would just run on up to the altar and the tabernacle... now THAT is a distraction.

I guess my only question would be whether or not you'd actually be able to follow along with the mass and enjoy it yourself, which it sounds like you do... but if it was you at my church I probably wouldn't have made a big huff about it. Maybe our old grumpy friend should sit up closer to the altar.

[socalscout]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 17 2005, 04:20 PM'] I like it when churches have crying rooms, myself. :infant:

I actually don't think the man's complaints would mean he didn't like children necessarily -- maybe for whatever reason he just felt like the church was being used as a playground. But at least you were nice enough to stay in the back. I've been to masses in Spanish and some of the parents wouldn't do much of anything about their kids. The kids would just run on up to the altar and the tabernacle... now THAT is a distraction.

I guess my only question would be whether or not you'd actually be able to follow along with the mass and enjoy it yourself, which it sounds like you do... but if it was you at my church I probably wouldn't have made a big huff about it. Maybe our old grumpy friend should sit up closer to the altar.  [/quote]
Cry rooms are the worst in my opinion. I will never take my children into another cry room again. They run amuck because there are other children there. The best place for children during Mass, is to be where there are not any other children.

We are lucky that the area we sit in during Sunday Mass has adults who pretty much have seen us there before my children were born. They have been watching my family grow and it seems like they love my children. That is exactly where I sat Wednesday when that man got upset.

Edited March 17, 2005 by socalscout

[Catholictothecore]

I think you were wronged. Who knows what kinda day that man was having?

Keep brining you child to mass, but maybe see if the priest doesn't mind if you let this happen. A priest is called "Father" by his parishoners for a reason; if you have his permission it's acceptable and no one can argue it.

[Ash Wednesday]

I don't know, I happen to think they can be nice when parents can temporarily take a kid there when he's hollaring at the top of their lungs. It's not meant to be a playroom. At least that's the case at my church. I don't like it when parents let their kids run amok anywhere in a church that's a confined area like the pews or a crying room. I don't mind kids walking around a bit in the back of a church in an open area.

[Smile_Jesus_loves_you]

KIds can be a distraction, i'm the #2 of almost 10, but sometimes they help. you never know.

My brother, 3, says right after the concercration, "Meme, now jesus is here!" with the biggest smile, simple faith!

[socalscout]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 17 2005, 04:30 PM'] I don't know, I happen to think they can be nice when parents can temporarily take a kid there when he's hollaring at the top of their lungs. It's not meant to be a playroom. At least that's the case at my church. I don't like it when parents let their kids run amok anywhere in a church that's a confined area like the pews. I don't mind kids walking around a bit in the back of a church in an open area. [/quote]
If the kid is getting crazy then the parent should take their child outside or something. I happen to think its ok for the children to walk around a little in the back. I don't let my son go farther than 10 feet and if he starts to cry and scream then we go outside. That is just repsectful to others. My son, in this case, was just walking around the back touching the the designs in the etched windows. He was not running up and down the pews. I will not stand for that.

[Ash Wednesday]

I remember once some little kid thought the priest was God.

[Paphnutius]

I can sympathize with both parties. I go to a school at a monastery where there is dead silence all the time. I think, sometimes, that the monks have actually died. So when I go back to a parish it is a shock to my senses for a while. But, by no means is anyone ever to be excluded from coming to the Lord's house in earnestness. I agree with walking the kid back and forth in the back of the naive, or to walk for a few minutes in the vestibule (that is the name of the area in front of the church SocalScout). As Catholics we are called to community, and that means helping one another with their cross and bearing eachother's faults with them. Be that a kid that is acting unruly or someone that sings off pitch. (We have plenty of the latter here )

[socalscout]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 17 2005, 04:39 PM'] I remember once some little kid thought the priest was God. [/quote]
My son did the same thing. You have to understand that children have a very hard time comprehending the unseen as dictated to them by their parents. They can create their own concepts of unseen figures but it is given their experiences which is limited. The whole concept of an omnipotent, omniscient, invisible(to them) God is difficult becuase he is not right there in front of them. They know there is a God but they relate it to the figurehead they see who is usually the Priest at Mass. My son now understands that he is not God but he does not fully grasp the concept of Faith. He prays but it is almost like God is a ghost. He is only 5.

[socalscout]

[quote name='Paphnutius' date='Mar 17 2005, 04:46 PM'] ...a few minutes in the vestibule (that is the name of the area in front of the church SocalScout). [/quote]
That's it! Thanks.

[Paphnutius]

Well the priest does stand in persona Christi capitus.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Mar 17 2005, 06:39 PM'] I remember once some little kid thought the priest was God. [/quote]
My younger brother did that once when he was little (he's 16 now...). Our pastor, a rather jolly slightly larger man, was walking towards the back of the Church and we were all in our pew and Mike piped up as he passed "Hi God!" Father laughed and said "Well! Thats quite a promotion!"

[cmotherofpirl]

I don't mind kids as long as they don't bang trucks on the wooden pews during Mass or throw themselves screaming in the aisle. Then they need to go outside.
THe little ones always wave to us in the choir loft.

Father used to bring his dog Priscilla to Mass. She would sit over by Marys statue and never move the entire MAss. Everyone would tell their kids that they could at least behave as well as the dog did. Worked on all kids over the age of two.

Edited March 18, 2005 by cmotherofpirl

[Catholictothecore]

yeah, i agree that there is a limit to when they should be allowed to be "free." There is such thing as a fine line