praise God!

[theculturewarrior]

Hello!

Some of you might remember my drawing thread, that I had taken a medication for eight years that left me unable to draw. So far, the change has been really good. Saturday, I daydreamed for the first time in eight years. It was so pleasant, that by the time I finished daydreaming, it was seven o'clock at night, and I didn't know where my day had gone.

It was kind of scary too. Imagine being unable to daydream for eight years! I didn't even know I couldn't. I just thought that it was part of me that I had outgrown. It was kind of like meeting an old friend. I'm just hoping that I don't meet my old enemy (and I'm not talking about Phazzan )

The medicine is an adjustment. I'm daydreaming less today. (It's a good thing really). I'm just hoping my daydreams won't go away completely as I adjust to the medicine, but I'm willing to accept it if it does. It certainly beats the alternative.

I had forgotten how beautiful my mind is. Maybe that sounds vain, I don't mean it as if I'm superior. It's kind of like the opposite of Flowers for Algernon, at least for a while.

[philothea]

Lots of good news!

I can relate, a little. I was on anti-depressants for a while, and they made me unable to pray. I'd fall asleep whenever I wasn't doing anything active. Very annoying!

Now I'm off those, but I still have various sensitivities; if I don't eat just right I feel awful and my brain turns to mush.

Neurological systems are so delicate and complicated.

And I like your mind too.

[theculturewarrior]

Thank you, from one beautiful mind to another.

[theculturewarrior]

Apologies to all if discussing this issue is annoying or embarrassing in any way. I kind of like this Cross of mine. I don't see myself as disfigured, as I march to Golgotha, although some turn their faces away.

Most people just roll their eyes, though, as I say, "Hey, look at this Cross, isn't it beautiful?"

[KizlarAgha]

Psychotropic drugs are good times. I've always used daydreaming as a coping mechanism, so I couldn't imagine being without it. The coolest thing I think I had was neurontin. I concentrate too easily an am very focused. So when I'm depressed my mind concentrates on the depression so acutely that it becomes problematic. Neurontin was cool because it essentially gave me ADD. I've never had anything approaching ADD before but it was nifty to be completely unable to concentrate - I'd never felt that before.

[BeenaBobba]

Justin,

I don't find your discussion on these things the least bit annoying. Like I've said, I've found your recent posts quite edifying.

A few years ago, I was on two or three medications. The combination wasn't great, and I ended up having a reaction. Of course, the doctor took me off the medications thereafter, but before that, I could barely think straight on the medications I was on. It was awful. That said, I can see how being able to daydream and such is an enormous relief to you.

God bless,

Jennifer

[BeenaBobba]

[quote name='philothea' date='May 16 2005, 07:10 PM'] And I like your mind too. [/quote]
I'll second that.

[theculturewarrior]

If I were a Patron Saint, I would want to be the Patron of all the flowers in God's garden that stand out. Not the ones that stand out because the other flowers see that they are beautiful. I would want to be the patron saint of the ones that stand out because only the Gardner knows that they are beautiful, and why he has grown them.

[theculturewarrior]

^That was me daydreaming.

[daugher-of-Mary]

awwww tcw...all of us tend to wander mentally around here it seems, but your "wanderings" are always so grace-filled...the product of a beautiful mind AND a beautiful soul

[Seven77]

man, i really needed to read this thread. my cross had me somewhat down .. but im gettin all these signs of His deep love for me. thanks theculturewarrior! im encouraged by your witness to be a better friend to the Gardner.

[theculturewarrior]

The Gardner knows that you are beautiful.

In every phase of Jesus's life, he was Beautiful. God never turned his face away. God saw beneath the Sudarium, and he knew that he was Beautiful.

[theculturewarrior]

^ daydreaming.

[corban711]

tcw...wow. i just wanted to say that i have been reading your posts and have really enjoyed them. we talked about marian consecration and her work in our souls (along with our sister st. therese) and i can see that both are doing and desire to do great wonders in your soul! thank you for sharing! our littleness makes us the most perfect candidates for God's consuming and transforming love!!! such a wonderful thought!!!

[theculturewarrior]

I've been consecrating myself to Mary in the morning. I do it twice. One is the short one, that you posted. And the other is also relatively short, where I consecrate my soul to her, and then say a Hail Mary, and the I consecrate my body to her, and say a Hail Mary, and then I consecrate my heart to her, and say a Hail Mary.

And yeah, Saint Therese is tacked to the corkboard over my computer.

And a retreat to the Monastery helped me too.

[theculturewarrior]

Now I have to pray for humility.

[corban711]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='May 16 2005, 09:01 PM'] I've been consecrating myself to Mary in the morning. I do it twice. One is the short one, that you posted. And the other is also relatively short, where I consecrate my soul to her, and then say a Hail Mary, and the I consecrate my body to her, and say a Hail Mary, and then I consecrate my heart to her, and say a Hail Mary.

And yeah, Saint Therese is tacked to the corkboard over my computer.

And a retreat to the Monastery helped me too. [/quote]
that's awesome! i pray the consecration prayer (short version) every morning but on major marian feasts i do one of the longer ones (either Kolbe's or de Montforts). one of the priests at my parish and my old spiritual director recommend to guys to pray 3 Hail Mary's every night just before bed, for purity of mind, heart and body. great advice! yeah...Therese is all over the walls in my room...we have several posters of her!

[theculturewarrior]

Fr. Groeschel said something like, "you can never know that you are humble. You can only know that you were humble." I think I was humble until I read the responses to the Gardner thread. The leaven was rising in the Sudarium thread, but hadn't quite taken over. But now it's time for the flagellum.

I'm happy. It's good to be back. Except for all the compliments going to my head. That's my fault and not yours.

[Cathurian]

God bless you, man. It's great that things are going better for you! And that you can daydream.

[theculturewarrior]

I'm adjusting. Pray for me please, to Saint Dymphna and Saint Therese. All day long I've had my head in the clouds. I barely give myself time to eat, I dream so much. Maybe people can sense that I'm a bit off, I really don't know. But I'm not functioning at my best.