How do you know

[Jaime]

This is a spinoff of the thread "Men, Where are all the good ones?"

So how do you know when you've found the one you're in love with? How would you describe that relationship? What's it going to look like? How do you interact differently with your true love than with someone you've only dated?


I'm curious to hear what folks think!

[melporcristo]

thats a really good question. I don't have an answer, but want to ask a question on top of those hot stuff asked: is it really possible to love someone else even if you have loved before? Because you have given so much to that person and then the relationship ends ... I mean, was it a real love ... or what.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

A few signs:

1. Satan attacks it like none other.

2. It feels right.

3. If you can't find any logical reason why you love a person, but you just do, that's good.

4. You find yourself willing to give up anything evil and take on anything good for her sake.

5. You would change everything about your life to be closer to her in Christ.

6. You would die for her.

[Jaime]

You know you're pretty deep for a Cornhusker!!

[geetarplayer]

Know that I've never really been in love before. That being said, here's my two cents...

[quote]So how do you know when you've found the one you're in love with? How would you describe that relationship? What's it going to look like? How do you interact differently with your true love than with someone you've only dated?[/quote]

When I fall in love, it will be with a woman who is honest, easy to talk to, strong... but overall a woman of faith. I think we would act like the best of friends as opposed to a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing. All in all, though, love is not an exact science. When you know, you know.

[quote]thats a really good question. I don't have an answer, but want to ask a question on top of those hot stuff asked: is it really possible to love someone else even if you have loved before? Because you have given so much to that person and then the relationship ends ... I mean, was it a real love ... or what. [/quote]

You need to evaluate for yourself whether a past relation was "real" love or not. However, the short answer to this question is yes. I believe it is fully possible.

Don't take these as fact! I'm only 17!

-Mark

[iggy]

When you wake up in the morning and pray that they have a good and holy day, and then miss them all day, and pray for them again when you go to bed at night.
When they go on a retreat and you spend the whole weekend praying that God works for him while he is gone.
When you find out he skipped out on daily mass and call him as soon as you get home to make sure he is okay.
When you can come to him and ask him to pray for your random cousins.
When something bad happends and he does everything he can to make things okay for you, even when it makes things worse for him, and you do the reverse.
When you know eachother so well, you can tell when the other is up to something.

[iggy]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='May 18 2005, 03:31 PM'] You know you're pretty deep for a Cornhusker!! [/quote]
You are just asking for trouble, there mister.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='iggy' date='May 18 2005, 04:38 PM'] You are just asking for trouble, there mister. [/quote]


Iggy is also a Cornhusker.

[iggy]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 18 2005, 03:39 PM']

Iggy is also a Cornhusker. [/quote]
Darn tootin' and I am not LEAVING, either. hmmph

[ReinnieR]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 18 2005, 03:29 PM'] A few signs:

1. Satan attacks it like none other.

2. It feels right.

3. If you can't find any logical reason why you love a person, but you just do, that's good.

4. You find yourself willing to give up anything evil and take on anything good for her sake.

5. You would change everything about your life to be closer to her in Christ.

6. You would die for her. [/quote]
amen

[Jaime]

[quote name='iggy' date='May 18 2005, 03:38 PM'] You are just asking for trouble, there mister. [/quote]


Too funny!

[Cam42]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='May 18 2005, 03:48 PM']

Too funny! [/quote]
I don't know....I have never been in love....well, with a person.

I think that I am in love with the Church, but that is a whoooooooooollllllllllllllleeeeeeeeee different thing.

But it isn't the same kind of love.

Cam

[iggy]

You'd like to think that, wouldn't you!

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote]
1. Satan attacks it like none other.

2. It feels right.[/quote]

But in attacks from Satan, can he not attempt to plant doubts in your head so that it doesn't feel right?

[RandomProddy]

When, after meeting her for the first time, every single one of your sisters and your mum are told by yourself the next day.

[iggy]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='May 18 2005, 03:56 PM']
But in attacks from Satan, can he not attempt to plant doubts in your head so that it doesn't feel right? [/quote]
maybe satan doesn't attack it all the time, or you know that it is just satan attacking you, so you can work past it

[Q the Ninja]

[quote name='iggy' date='May 18 2005, 03:53 PM'] You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! [/quote]
Hmm? I'm confused...it is a very different calling, and a higher calling.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='May 18 2005, 04:56 PM']
But in attacks from Satan, can he not attempt to plant doubts in your head so that it doesn't feel right? [/quote]
That is precisely what he tries...but regardless...it still feels right...it's weird. Satan attacks, and you worry, but you also know better.

[Noel's angel]

a always used to have dreams about dying for him- i never died, but i was always willing to

[Ash Wednesday]

I don't know, I have my reservations about "feelings" from personal experience and the idea that it "feels right" and it "feels like this man is the one that God wants me to marry" can be very deceptive and I'm jaded about a lot of the fluffy answers that people give about love. Maybe I'm just still bitter and scarred and operating on a wounded instinct.

I felt that way about a previous relationship that "seemed right" and seemed in my destiny but ended in peril. I honestly thought at one time God was telling me that this was going to be the man I would marry. We dated, went to mass, adoration together, and things seemed set.

But in the end when things fell apart, I felt burnt, deceived, and wondered how I could've been so stupid -- and the guy I dated who once strived and desired to be a model Catholic obviously has serious issues, now doesn't even go to mass or anything. I had lost all faith in my ability to pray, discern, and understand anything.

The best answer that I have heard is that you know you've finally found your spouse when you're standing at the altar. A priest made a similar description when explaining his road to ordination and it is easier for me to relate to this. That finding true love is not always a gooshy feeling in the heart but, as faith is, is a journey and goes beyond feelings and becomes a willful act.



I have a boyfriend now who is one of the greatest demonstrators of deep unconditional love that I've known -- he would do anything for me and I often tell him to stop putting me on a pedestal. (To which he says okay, we'll be on the pedestal together) I get frustrated by my fears and my past and the havoc it wreaks on my head in issues of love. Right now he is so much more optimistic, fearless and sure of our future together than I am. Because my last boyfriend was such a disaster in more ways than one at times I clam up and withdraw and keep up a guard. I am afraid to commit and right now can't go back to the dewy eyed optimism I once had about love. I hate it.

Edited May 18, 2005 by Ash Wednesday