Thought for the day

[theculturewarrior]

This should probably go into the vocations forum, but I wanted to post it here to show where I'm at right now. It's a development in my conversion. I was thinking how much I don't like to suffer. Most of the suffering in my life I've brought upon myself, because of my chemistry, but I think it's true, what St. Therese said: suffering teaches us to love. And I had to suffer so much to learn to love my parents and my siblings, and I had to suffer to learn to love my coworkers and my job. And I even suffered to learn to love my Church.

But when I think of suffering to learn to love a woman, until death do us part (<-- more suffering), I think I'm much too weak for marriage. And when I think of the priesthood, that would be like suffering for 3000 people! Forget it!

I think it's better for me to suffer to learn to love God. He is kinder than his children, and I will never have to go to his funeral, despite what Nietszche may have thought. It is a fearsome thing to fall into the hands of the only living God, but I fear it much less than the wrath of a woman, much less 1500 women, because I know God chastens with love.

Maybe someday I'll get married. Maybe someday I'll become a priest. If that's what God wants, I don't see how I can stop it. If I ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Therese, and call her "my little queen." If I ever become a priest, I'm going to work so hard for the coming of the Kingdom that God's children know that he is good, and that he created us to serve him. But right now, I'm thinking of all the good I could do just being single. God has given me so much, and I can do so much good with what I already have. And the best part is, I'm happy!

So, right now, I'd like to finish my conversion story, or at least bring it up to date. Someday, I'd like to unify Aesthetics and Theology. I want to write the Summa Aesthetica. I'm grandiose like that. And if God gives me the grace, I'd like to write the Summa Psychologica next. I'm more of a poet than St. Thomas Aquinas, maybe I can write them with enduring beauty. And today, I was struck by another ambition. I want to write the story of Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe as poetically as it can be told in English. I think I'll call it the "Life of Juan Diego." (I can't remember if he is a Blessed or a Saint, so I just left it off).\

But I don't know how I can do all of this unless I just stay what I am, and grow in God's love as a single layman. Whatever God wants will happen though, and I trust him. He loves us more than we will ever know. Maybe in Heaven, but I think God is bigger even than that.

[franciscanheart]

that's beautiful tcw. just beautiful. i think your calling is wonderful and im happy that you are ready to embrace it... and happily! God bless you now and always!! you are obviously cut out for great things and with Him I know you will!

with love, your sister in Christ,
hugheyforlife

p.s. dont forget to send me autographed copies of your books for Christmas

[theculturewarrior]

¡Claro que si!

Of course, I'll be writing them when I'm a librarian at the University of Dallas, maybe I can hand deliver them too.

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Jun 9 2005, 07:54 PM']¡Claro que si!

Of course, I'll be writing them when I'm a librarian at the University of Dallas, maybe I can hand deliver them too.
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yay!!

[journeyman]

It's not quite on point . . . but I came across this thought today

When life gives you dilemmas, make de'lemmonade

ok, it's not on point at all :leave:

[Mickey's_Girl]

TCW--

Singleness is definitely a calling, too. There's nothing wrong with that at all! And the idea of a Summa Aesthetica? I LOVE IT!!!

(love it, love it, love it)

Go for it. And if God wants to you go into marriage or religious life--he'll make it clear. He's dependable like that. Trust him, go forward, and don't worry ("don't worry"? I'm preaching to myself there, LOL!).

MG

[theculturewarrior]

There's only one thing I don't like about being single. It was difficult to accept, and it was then it was difficult to embrace, but when I prayed to God for the grace to resist his will no longer, I fell in love with it. I LOVE BEING SINGLE!

The thing is, it is counter-cultural. It's something I desire greatly for myself. It is a calling, it is my dream, it is my eternal hope. But it is not something anybody wants for me. Everybody wants to introduce me to some single woman. People want to talk to me about "vocations." (Hello, I've already got one.)

It is going to get worse as I get older. Some people will think I simply didn't grow up, but I will devote my entire life to self-denial, to growing in the Faith.

I have flowers in my art garden that I must grow. I'd rather do that than anything else. And who knows what tomorrow brings? And who cares?