mulls Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Ah, the beauty of the anonymous message board where people know you but never really will... Well anyways, I'll let you know about my own little female situation... She's one of my best friends, I've known her for 2 years, we've been working closely together with the ministry at school, running a large bible study together with 2 other friends. Our personalities are very, very, very different but we've really grown to embrace each other as friends. The foundation of our friendship is Christ. I'm 2 years older than her, and have very much adopted a big-brother type role in her life, giving her advice how to fend off all of the heathens that try to date her, among other things. She has opened up about her life to me alot more within the past few months, seeking advice and wisdom from me, and I'm blessed that I'm able to serve someone in this way. Of course this is somebody who I never, ever would have considered dating, because we're such different people, and not until recently did I feel like I was in a place to pursue something like that with anyone, and I certainly know that she deals with enough constant junk from men that she doesn't need something like that in her life. But now that I've been graduated from college for about a month, I miss her intensely. I went and visited her and some other friends on a missions project they were on in NJ, and once I got back from that I missed her even more. I've come to realize that as she has let me into her life, my heart has grown immensely for her. As far as qualities in a girl, forget it, she's the total package. The main issue is the whole "risk putting a great friendship in jeopardy" thing vs. the whole "enter into a godly relationship with someone who you might end up marrying" thing. Risk vs. Reward. Oh and the funny part is, people would always say to me "you know, you can't be that good of friends with a girl, because it will end up getting tricky." And I'm like "whatever, we know where we stand with each other, it's all good." Who would have known that I would actually fall for a gorgeous, godly, Christ-centered, intelligent, polite, beautiful, honest, compassionate girl such as her. I mean who actually is attracted to those qualities? Ahhh life is fun.
Thy Geekdom Come Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Risk vs. Reward? Cost-benefit analysis is not the way to deal with love...total submission is.
mulls Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 well that's the thing, I'm trying to be totally submitted to God in this situation, and totally submitted to honoring her....to the point where if this is not the best thing for her, than I will back off. like I said, the risk is the situation blowing up in my face and wrecking a beautiful friendship. the reward would be be taking a beautiful friendship further into a beautiful personal relationship.
homeschoolmom Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 ah, life... so full of risks... btw, congratulations on graduating.
mulls Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 thanks hs. basically I've already decided that I'm gonna take a shot at it, unless the Lord puts the stop sign up for me. now it's a matter of how do I break it....phone call, letter, or surprise 5 hour trip to where she's at for the summer? and when do I break it.....soon, so it won't be a thorn in my side all summer, or wait until she gets back so that this situation does not distract her from the Lord?
Thy Geekdom Come Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 [quote name='mulls' date='Jun 17 2005, 09:44 PM']well that's the thing, I'm trying to be totally submitted to God in this situation, and totally submitted to honoring her....to the point where if this is not the best thing for her, than I will back off. like I said, the risk is the situation blowing up in my face and wrecking a beautiful friendship. the reward would be be taking a beautiful friendship further into a beautiful personal relationship. [right][snapback]614920[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I've been where you are. If you want to chat in private, you're welcome to.
jp2_rules Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 i know what you mean about taking a risk of messing up what you have. a couple things, though. 1.) you wondering may make things awkwatd anyway at some point. i've been there, and even though it's to bring up, it's better in the long run. 2.) if your friendship is as good as it sounds, it shouldn't matter. if you both have an understanding, it sahouldn't ruin your relationship. peace bro, chris
God Conquers Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Do it. 'nuff said. If it's God's plan, and you feel it is, go for it.
blueufo7 Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 I vote sending flowers! (women LOVE flowers... and chocolates!)
bx_racer Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 (edited) go for it! it takes guts but before you know it it will be over with. i couldnt believe i had just asked a girl out the first time i asked a girl out. Edited June 18, 2005 by littleflower+JMJ
Brother Adam Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Love is tough. I know the feelings. I practically had to hit Teresa over the head with a club and drag her back to my cave. I'll say a prayer for you.
Jaime Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 [quote name='blueufo7' date='Jun 17 2005, 11:23 PM']I vote sending flowers! (women LOVE flowers... and chocolates!) [right][snapback]615062[/snapback][/right] [/quote] And large bricks of processed coagulated milk!! coagulated milk makes everything better
desertwoman Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Do the trip with the flowers. Now that means that you are dead serious about having a relationship with her. I know, as being a female, that I don't want to lose out on a great friendship. But, if she feels the same way about you, then she will realize that she is not only maintaing a great friendship with you, but she will have even more. If you can get her to see that and realize this, if she hasn't already, then you are good to go. God be with you suga.
mulls Posted June 18, 2005 Author Posted June 18, 2005 with the dumb things i'll probably end up saying, i think the cheeze factor will already be taken care off...
Jaime Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 LOL I can totally relate to that!! Sometimes a risk not taken grows into a regret. Good luck man!!
thessalonian Posted June 18, 2005 Posted June 18, 2005 Hey man, let me tell you, my wife and I are very different. She's city, I'm country. She hates camping, I love it. We like different types of music (though there is overlap). I'm more serious than her. Different has it's advantages. Sounds like you have a healthy attitude about her and a true love for what is best for her. I have heard of many situations like this and it may not work out but if you truly love her, the worst thing would be having not tried. Flowers are the best. My wife (when before we got married) and I broke up for several months. A dozen roses got me back in her life. Blessings
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