What should I do now?

[john6:63]

Most everyone here somewhat knows my situation, a fundamentalist studying the Catholic faith and who believes the Lord maybe calling him to the Catholic Church.

This past Saturday I asked if my wife would care if I attended an evening Mass and I even asked if she wanted to go with the kids. She asked if I was “serious” and I could tell this upset her greatly by her tone and I could see the tears swell in her eyes.

Well, I didn’t go and being a male, I pouted. My wife asked what my problem was and I told her that I was upset because she isn’t open to objectively studying the Catholic faith with me. A little disagreement ensued and I stated that I may give “religion” a break for awhile and come back to it later. I just feel like I’m being beat down or that maybe the Lord has such a hold on me that He isn’t letting up, either or, it’s wearing me out. My parents think that the devil has me and is leading me down a path of “destruction”, and the devil can, I suppose, use my frustrations to his advantage.

Understand now that my wife just gave birth to our third child 2 weeks ago and here I am pushing a major change in our spiritual lives, when we just had a major change in our personal lives.

She said that she feels like I am pushing the issue on her and I can tell that she isn’t ready, but I am. She said why not a Lutheran or Episcopalian? Why a Catholic? I said that the answer is what I’ve been expressing to you for months now and you do nothing but debate me, without first looking into the facts yourself. All I want is for her to study this with me and we both take some time and pray and see what the Lord says to us both. So she’s now started to read “Why Do Catholics Do That?”

So here’s my dilemma. I do not want to go back to our home church, a fundamentalist Baptist Church, nor any Baptist church for that matter, but I NEED to continue worship! Or the devil can use this and pull me away from God! Should I compromise with her and attend a “halfway house” like a Methodist, Lutheran or Episcopal Church? And in the mean time ask her to join me in a RCIA program to learn more together?

I would hate to attend one of the above-mentioned churches and not be serious about becoming a member.

Any thought would be appreciated.

God bless,
Tommy

Edited July 11, 2005 by john6:63

[PedroX]

Tommy,

First, know that you and your wife are in my prayers.

Second, you have a double calling here. First is your personal call to holiness, and your responsibility to be faithful to what God is calling you to do. Second, is your calling as a husband and spiritual head of your family. A good leader leads, but not so far out that the followers cannot follow. You may need to make some temporary comprimise so that your wife has time to catch up. I know a few "mixed marriages" (prot and catholic) and some handle this by going to separate churches, and others handle this by going to two services. Earnestly seek the will of God. He is faithful and will complete the good work that He has begun in you. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.

Again, know of my prayers and feel free to PM or email me if you need to talk further. HSMom would also be able to offer good advice in this.

peace...

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='PedroX' date='Jul 11 2005, 09:41 PM']HSMom would also be able to offer good advice in this.
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Aw, thanks, Peter...


[quote]She said why not a Lutheran or Episcopalian? Why a Catholic?[/quote]

This is common. We thought it (albeit jokingly) for about a half minute... When we told our very closest friends that we were becoming Catholic, one said, jokingly, "couldn't you just go to the tradtional service instead of the contemporary??"

Depending upon the ages of your children, I would not go the "halfway" route. It was hard enough to have my children leave their home church for a new and very different church. I don't think you want to pull them out more than once. And if they are older (say older than 4 or 5), please don't make this transition until you and your wife are in agreement. (I'll probably get tomatoes thrown at me for saying that)...

Maybe a compromise is in order with your wife. She is in no condition to deal with this now. If she is in anyway prone to "baby blues," just let her be for now. Perhaps suggest that you would like to go to the Catholic chapel to pray and go to mass once in a while. Women (especially mammas) need security. You are suggesting rocking the entire foundation of her security. She's probably not going to be too eager to look into this. Pray for her-- often.

Instead of going to Sunday mass, try to go to a weekday mass. If she ever agrees to go with you to mass, assure her that she doesn't have to do or say anything that she doesn't want to.