gonzaga Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 we have been going out for just over a year, but we are having a break for a few weeks as it was getting a bit like 'the same old routine'. but some of the things she is saying is making me think we won't get back together again...I thought maybe breaking up would be ok for us if it happened, but I'm not sure now, I think I really want her to be with me.
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Love is tough. My wife broke it off twice, almost three times when we were dating. If you really do love her, keep showing it, but do it tackfully.
gonzaga Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 [quote name='Brother Adam' date='Aug 8 2005, 03:27 PM']Love is tough. My wife broke it off twice, almost three times when we were dating. If you really do love her, keep showing it, but do it tackfully. [right][snapback]676860[/snapback][/right] [/quote] what did you do to show her you loved her?
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Remained her friend. As long as she is willing to be friends (and that is what most girls do anyway "Let's just be friends") find ways to hang out with her, alone or in groups, and just be her friend, treat her like a lady, show her you care. After all of this Teresa and I became best friends and she finally realized that she wanted to be with her best friend for the rest of her life. It took years to go through this whole process, but it was worth it.
Nicole8223 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Well, first, make sure you take this to prayer. If you really feel like you want things to work, I would get her a card and express your feelings. Tell her that you want to be with her and how much you care for her. Tell her you are willing to work through this hard time, and to listen to her needs. Flowers are always a nice touch, too. Don't give up hope...if you just broke up, there is a definite chance you could get back together.
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 It's kind of funny in a way. At one point Teresa tried to hook me up with a good friend of hers and I agreed to watch a movie with this friend. Teresa was there too and later told me she got really jealous seeing us together
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 [quote name='Nicole8223' date='Aug 8 2005, 10:33 AM']Well, first, make sure you take this to prayer. If you really feel like you want things to work, I would get her a card and express your feelings. Tell her that you want to be with her and how much you care for her. Tell her you are willing to work through this hard time, and to listen to her needs. Flowers are always a nice touch, too. Don't give up hope...if you just broke up, there is a definite chance you could get back together. [right][snapback]676867[/snapback][/right] [/quote] But be careful. If you did just break up, give her space too. Don't overwhelm her, it could drive her further away.
Nicole8223 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Yeah, good point...she may need some space and time right now. You know her best...so you'll have to be the judge of what to do and when to do it.
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 When I pushed the issue after we broke up Teresa said "Adam, even if you were the last male left on earth I would never date you again". ahahaha. : I made her stick her foot in her mouth.
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Is it wierd that I am a man and I just gave advice on dating?
gonzaga Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 thanks guys. as I said, we' r on a break for two weeks, and she said we should just do her own thing and see how we feel, and what our feelings for each other are at the end of it. she says he feels 'trapped', I think it might be seeing and hearing her friends talking about going out at the weekend to clubs and stuff maybe she thinks shes missing out... dont know what to think. maybe I will write her a short letter telling her what I feel.
Brother Adam Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 I would talk to her as opposed to writing a letter. That's what Teresa says anyway. A 'break' doesn't make much sense to me. Marriage is in many ways very routine. If you are a couple, you shouldn't have to always come up with 'new things' to do, but just be involved in each others daily lives.
Luthien Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 [quote name='Brother Adam' date='Aug 8 2005, 09:43 AM']I would talk to her as opposed to writing a letter. That's what Teresa says anyway. A 'break' doesn't make much sense to me. Marriage is in many ways very routine. If you are a couple, you shouldn't have to always come up with 'new things' to do, but just be involved in each others daily lives. [right][snapback]676883[/snapback][/right] [/quote] *nods emphatically* This is very true. Not that I'm married, but I have my parents as an example. Everything isn't always going to be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all the time in marriage. Plus if you're both young, being friends isn't as bad as you may think. Adam made a good witness to the fact that it can be rewarding, though that shouldn't be your aim. Being friends with her, and just loving her and wanting her good even if that doesn't mean you get to be with her, is one of the most amazing things that you could to for both of you. God has a way of orchestrating things, believe me I know. You may see this as a wicked hardship now, but there is most definantly a light at the end of the tunnel. Just put this in the Hands of God and you'll be fine.
gonzaga Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 thanks for the advice guys, I have said to her that we would remain close no matter what happens. but if she were to be going out with another guy, I don't know how I could cope.
Luthien Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 It would be hard, probably harder than anything you've done. But you can do it, just put everything in His hands.
gonzaga Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 (edited) yeah, still got another '13 days' of our break, somehow I don't think it will take that long... she now admits that she finds someone she and her friend were talking about 'attractive'... Edited August 8, 2005 by gonzaga
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