Utterly and completely...lovesick

[Guest Jillian]

I can't get over him. This love is so wrong, but it doesn't feel that way. I love him so much, and it's not right, but I can't get over him (I want to be a religious) Can you give me some tips??? I'm close to him and we are friends and see each other on a regular basis...

[Laudate_Dominum]

I would suggest being definitive about things. If you believe you have a call to religious life, you must focus your attention on your Divine Suitor, rather than this gentleman. This may require avoiding seeing him at all, at least until the force of these emotions and attachments fade. And certainly commend your heart and your whole being to Christ. Maybe even ask Him to fight for you. I might pray that Christ would purify these feelings of any selfishness or inordinancy. Let Him mould your heart according to His will. Perhaps your feelings can become a disinterested love as for a brother, without all the longing and infatuation, which are a distraction and temptation if your true call is religious life.

I would also recommend seeking the council of a good spiritual director, or just a wise, spiritual person that you trust, who can help you through this and hold you accountable.

If associations with this person are an occassion of sin I would stress this advice even more.
And do not be discouraged if you fail repeatedly in your resolutions, or if your heart seems to betray you. If this is a temptation away from God's will, the devil always uses discouragement and despair as his back-up plan. Just keep surrendering and trusting in God. And if you ever feel tempted towards something that is leading you away from God, "do not fight, but flee". It is always better to flee temptation than to presume to fight it.

I truly hope this helps. God bless you.

*prayers!*

[Laudate_Dominum]

Oh, and often they way we respond to the yearnings of the heart makes all the difference in the world.
It is too easy to entertain these yearnings and give our emotions free reign. But it is better to practice discipline of the heart. It is key really.
I would suggest resisting the feelings, but not repressively. Rather than just burying them, call them out into the light and look at them objectively. Or let the pain and longing pierce you with all its intensity, but keep Christ Crucified as the center of your attention. Offer this suffering to Jesus on behalf of this young man. Do not let it control you but also do not fear it, surrender it in its entirety. And try to experience it in and through Christ. He is the most understanding and loving Person you will ever know. There is no need to be ashamed of these feelings in front of Christ.

This is my advice, but I would still strongly recommend seeking the advice of someone who knows you and your situation in more detail and is wise in such matter and can help you discern the spirit of God.

[Laudate_Dominum]

This is something I've had written on the inside flap of my breviary, I thought it might be of help. I would often pray over a situation and use this as a quick list of considerations. In most cases it is clear, if you are honest with yourself and able to really pray over the situation, which attitudes dominate the situation.

[b]Signs of the Spirit of God:[/b]
Fits with the teaching of the Church
Serious
Gives light to the soul
Docility
Discretion
No hurriedness or exaggerations
Humble thoughts
Confidence in God
Rightness of intention
Patience in suffering
Self-denial
Sincerity and simplicity in conduct
No attachments (not even to the gifts)
Great desire to imitate Christ in all things (a very strong sign)
Gentleness
Kindness

[b]Signs of the evil spirit:[/b] (The opposite of the above)
Spirit of falseness or lie
Suggestion of useless things, curious things, impertinent things
Darkness
Restlessness in the soul
A bold, obstinate spirit
Many indescretions
Pride
Lack of hope
Disobedience
Vanity
Self-satisfaction
Impatience
Rebellion of the passions
Hypocrisy
Pretense
Attachment to earthly things
Forgetfulness of Christ and of imitating Him
A false charity including bitter zeal