Any advice?

[Iacobus]

Hey, can you all say a quick prayer for me. I moved into my new college the other week and went canoeing with 20 students and had a blast. I know them all decently well and a few pretty well. But we just got back yesterday and they had already meet everyone in their small groups (the other students that is) and now I feel, exculding my GOOP friends, kind of left out and scared. I am painfully shy and have a had time dealing with meeting people on anything but a personal level so I am really nervous. If I don't make friends beyond my GOOP people this could be a long year.

Also, a lot of the kids here seem to drink, though a few share don't and say they don't have problems with people trying to get them to. So if you could say a prayer that sometime soon I meet a few people who are the odd ones out, the devout Christians that don't drink. I don't think that anything here is going to be a huge challenge to my faith, but I still want to know some people that I can talk to about morality and stuff like that.

I am just really nervous and scared, I had a slight anxiety the day my parents dropped me off and almost had one today. I think I might find some down time to go talk to the priest, the Catholic parish is only a few blocks off campus. Does anyone who has gone though this have any advice? Can you all just say a prayer for me?

Oh, and please, those that know me or whatever, email me at simmerin (at) grinnell dot edu I need the "older faces" or something.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Iacobus' date='Aug 21 2005, 09:18 AM']Hey, can you all say a quick prayer for me. I moved into my new college the other week and went canoeing with 20 students and had a blast. I know them all decently well and a few pretty well. But we just got back yesterday and they had already meet everyone in their small groups (the other students that is) and now I feel, exculding my GOOP friends, kind of left out and scared. I am painfully shy and have a had time dealing with meeting people on anything but a personal level so I am really nervous. If I don't make friends beyond my GOOP people this could be a long year.

Also, a lot of the kids here seem to drink, though a few share don't and say they don't have problems with people trying to get them to. So if you could say a prayer that sometime soon I meet a few people who are the odd ones out, the devout Christians that don't drink. I don't think that anything here is going to be a huge challenge to my faith, but I still want to know some people that I can talk to about morality and stuff like that.

I am just really nervous and scared, I had a slight anxiety the day my parents dropped me off and almost had one today. I think I might find some down time to go talk to the priest, the Catholic parish is only a few blocks off campus. Does anyone who has gone though this have any advice? Can you all just say a prayer for me?

Oh, and please, those that know me or whatever, email me at simmerin (at) grinnell dot edu I need the "older faces" or something.
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Just remember you are all in the same boat -every freshie is nervous [read scared]. Talk to the other kids who seem quiet or are hanging back from the crowd. Check out the library for people. Don't be afraid to say hi, but don't give your confidence too freely - take your time.
Don't fall for obvious tricks - like being directed to the elevators in a one-story building. :

[stargirl3:16]

I agree with cmom. Also, if you remember your orientation leader(s), ask them about some of what goes on at campus.

I also offer these books:
The Everything College Survival Book, 2nd Edition
Ready for College, by Michael Francis Pennock

[Anastasia13]

I have no idea what GOOP is, but have you looked for a Christian club? You should have like a student activities sort of office that can help find one. That was one of the most helpful things for me. Clubs are also great ways to get to know more people.

I agree with Cmom. I assume you have resident advisors in your dorm? They might also be able to help give you some advice. I don't know how helpful they will be, but they should be fairly familiar with things on the campus and be at least a second year student.

If you can ever get up to it, just randomly go around and introduce yourself to every open door in your dorm or something. After a couple of doors, it's kind of an exciting rush meeting people like that. Lots of sugar preceding this might help.

You can try to find at least one person in each class to introduce yourself to and talk to, then try to sit near them each time if you can, assuming the person is nice. You can sort of build a friendship up from there, maybe even grabbing some lunch together some time. There is almost nothing like food to bond over.

[let_go_let_God]

I was there once... a year ago.... Just don't feel afraid to take one extra step out to meet people. Find some groups that are interested in the same things you are and meet their friends too. Smile and keep saying hi, someone is bound to say hi back and start talking with you. Oh yeah and never doubt the power of pizza and chinese.

God bless-
LGLG

[journeyman]

prayers for success (not that you'll need those on the academic side - I've seen your posts)

I remember (vaguely, through the haze) that meeting people is sort of like those seven degrees of kinship things . . . you meet a guy in English class, who knows someone in your Chemistry class, who knows someone in your History class, who is related to your cousin . . . and suddenly you're back home . . .just kidding . . . it builds . . . classes, extracurricular activities, dining hall, bookstore - - library is good, shy people love libraries, and if you don't see anyone, you can stake out a great place to study

I was (and still am) shy as well . . . and still personally knew about 30% of my graduating class and about 5-10% of the folks in the classes ahead of and behind mine.

(and the left handed smoke shifter is as illusory as the elevator in the one story building)

[ofpheritup]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Aug 21 2005, 08:32 AM']Just remember you are all in the same boat -every freshie is nervous [read scared]. Talk to the other kids who seem quiet or are hanging back from the crowd. Check out the library for people. Don't be afraid to say hi, but don't give your confidence too freely - take your time.
Don't fall for obvious tricks - like being directed to the elevators in a one-story building. :
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YES, YES AND YES :

Something else BE WHO YOU ARE. Don't change to fit in. God created you to be you not someone else. I know it sounds trite but it's true.

I teach my kids in school to be themselves. The world needs you to be you. If you honor yourself you will give to the world something it has never had before, you will be adding to it.

[morostheos]

Usually colleges have a club fair or student activities night during the first week of classes - that's a good way to see what there is to do on campus and get involved in different things. Definitely check to see if there's a Newman Club or Catholic Campus ministry of any sort - sometimes they're hard to find. If there's not something Catholic, there's almost always a Christian club - those are good too, especially for finding other non-drinking type friends. Good luck and I'm praying for you!

[Fides_et_Ratio]

Make friends in your classes

Talk to people around you, and don't sit off by yourself (try to sit by the smart looking kids..)

[theculturewarrior]

I have a difficult time making friends too. My advice: Ask that parish if they need any volunteers.

[StColette]

I got to know people rather quick by being outspoken during class.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Whatever you do, don't be surrounded by beautiful, kind, Catholic young ladies...and then fall in love with a troublemaker you can't be around for a year and a half.

That's straight out of a college guidebook...word for word...really...

[Ash Wednesday]

Adjusting to college is really rough... mine was over 10 years ago but I still remember what a leap that felt like. You'll have to deal with a lot of stupid people that just want to drink and party -- but overall, college is such an awesome time to truly find yourself and make some of your very best friends.

The best thing I did was get involved with the local Catholic campus ministry on campus. I made really great friends and they were my best support system. If there isn't a Catholic club, you can get involved with your local parish -- chances are there will be other students attending that parish, too.

[Iacobus]

The whole thing got a lot better today. I talked to my GOOP friends, they were the ones on the canoeing trip with me, none of them have really made any new contacts other then roommates and friend's roommates, so I am not really just like the odd ball.

But what made it even better was when I got my mail. The Catholic Church mailed me a letter sometime last week and I got it today. They have a student reg thing, last year they had sixty Grinnell students sign up and they have this "adopt-a-student" program, where a family from the parish signs up for adopt me when I am in school so I have a Catholic family that I can go to to have dinner every now and then and they are a Catholic influence of lay people I can turn to to talk with.

[Andrea348]

i was very shy too when i started college. i still am, but not as much. i just told myself that you have to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. it worked for me. the best time to meet people is in the beginning when all the other freshman don't have a solid group of friends.

but don't get discouraged...my two best friends first semester pledged a service fraternity during my second semester, so i was forced to find a new group. there are always people out there, you just have to find them.

the parish sounds great. i wish there was an adopt a student at my university. that sounds like fun.

[morostheos]

dude, that is awesome about the whole adopt-a-student thing!! :

no stress, you'll find friends

[DeeDee]

I don't know where you are going to college, but I think a lot of people get a little anxious at any new college or job, or whatever. Hey, that's being pretty normal I think. Maybe you could check and see if there is a Newman club on campus. That's a club for Catholics, and a lot of colleges/universities have them. If not maybe you and your friends could start one. Enjoy college, and know that you are in our prayers.