Sin of youth?

[Maccabeus]

how do I stop doing that,
I can last a week and than I end up lossing it, and afterwards feel like *rap afterwards, but than again if I won't get it for a long time, my mind gets all sinister. I'm so ashamed of it I have problems going to confession, and confessing this act, I'm so embarrassed about it, I just wanna hide it from the rest of the world/ have no ear hear of it. The greatest thing that keeps me from this act is "that good" feeling of being without guilt kinda of like when I was a young kid.

How do you stop?

[Pio Nono]

JMJ
9/3 - St. Gregory the Great

Maccabeus,

I don't know if there is a sure-fire method to get rid of this; however, there may be a couple of points I can give you.

(1) The answer never involves more control / a tighter grip on life. The answer always involves letting go and being less afraid - the devil loves it if, in an unhealthy way, you fear sinning when there's nothing to fear.

(2) C.S. Lewis says, in [i]The Screwtape Letters[/i], that one of the devil's favorite tricks is to keep people from talking about their sins. You HAVE to confess it, no matter how embarassing it feels, because then it you are bringing it to the light where Christ can heal it. The devil would prefer you not to speak of it.

(3) Say your prayers and, every time this happens, go to confession. One day - maybe next week, maybe next year, maybe in ten years - it will feel like you've woken up and said, "Where did it go?" Trust me on this one. Know of my prayers, and I hope this helps.

Yours,
Pio Nono