spiritualbeing Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I think we might go bowling or mini golfing or maybe to the zoo. So now do I go in a group with her to make her feel less uncomfortable or should we just go alone>? I was thinking I could bring the idea of maybe our first unofficial date would be like, "Hey what are you doing this weekend? A few friends and I are going to ________ and i was wondering if you wanted to come with?" your thoughts? --spiritual being
Philippe Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 just you and her, get to know her personally first
Maria Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 How well do you already know her? I personally like the idea of getting to know someone as a friend in a group setting before doing anything just the two of us.
matt_in_ohio Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I have the same question as Maria – how well do you already know her? I’m not asking for you to post the answer here, but more to get you thinking about it yourself. If you know her pretty well, and you think that she has an interest in hanging out with you (and possibly an interest in you as more than just a [i]friend[/i]), then I say ditch the crowd and get to know her one-on-one. That, I think, would be a lot more fun and allow you to get to know each other better. But if the opposite is true, and you two are only casual acquaintances, a group setting could be a better idea. It would be less stress on you, less stress on her, and the whole event will be a lot more casual. The more casual it is, the less likely she might turn you down in the first place, and it could be a better situation to be in if you guys don’t click. But I personally am not a fan of group dates, so I might not be the best person to ask. If it was me (and let me say again that I am [b]no [/b]relationship expert): I would ask her out, just her and I, to the zoo or wherever it is you have in mind. I would make it seem like a fun and casual thing, but also let her know that I was asking her out because I really wanted to hang out with [i]her[/i]! I wouldn’t want to be hesitant about it, and say “I was thinking of going, would you want to come along?” That might work with a group date, but I feel it makes her look like an afterthought. I would start by bringing it up in a conversation, something like “I haven’t been to the zoo in years,” or something along those lines. If she even expresses a little interest in the idea, I would say “well hey, why don’t we go there together? I think we would have fun, and I would enjoy getting the chance to hang out with you.” Some might think it’s a bit forward, so I’d appreciate knowing what anyone else thinks. To me, it’s flattering. But whatever you decide to do, make sure you’re comfortable with it. If by some chance she turns you down, you don’t want to have any regrets. You shouldn’t have any anyway – it’s been my experience that a girl is either going to like you for who you are or she isn’t, and there isn’t too much you can do either way to change that. And if she isn't interested, then she's not worth your worry. So I would say to just remember to be confident, smile, and make eye contact. And if you do go out with her, get her talking about [i]herself[/i]. Find out what she’s interested in and let her talk about it. Making a girl feel special is a good way to get a girl to like you I honestly hope this helps. Good luck – I’ll be praying for you, Matt.
Proud2BCatholic139 Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Personally, I'd say group for the first date... I guess it depends on how well you know her/him I guess. I mean, if I went on a first date with someone I didn't know very well, I'd feel uncomfortable and tongue tied... But I am not a shy person as much... And it just helps to not give into temptation. I like both kinds of dates... But, I'd say, go group first
Philippe Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 if you go as a group it wont be considered a date
Philippe Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 it would just be hanging out with friends, not going out on a date, if you want to do a group just do like 1 other couple and clarify that its a group date. Just hanging out as a group is not going to be a date. I'm not saying its not a good idea to do that just to start off but, if you want a date, its gotta be more clear
Sarah_JC Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 Ask her out on a fig! I vote for double date. It's more comfortable, IMHO.
Sarah_JC Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 Also, as a word of advice. Bowling makes a very bizarre and uncomfortable first date...
Sarah_JC Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 Trust me. And if you do go, wear a skirt that is longer than your knees, or pants and a LONG shirt. It is definitely fun with friends. But with the nervousness of a first date, you don't need the added uncomfortability of bending over with your rear in the air. Come to think of it, I may just really smell of elderberries at bowling.
ofpheritup Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 [quote name='Proud2BCatholic139' date='Sep 28 2005, 08:11 AM']Personally, I'd say group for the first date... I guess it depends on how well you know her/him I guess. I mean, if I went on a first date with someone I didn't know very well, I'd feel uncomfortable and tongue tied... But I am not a shy person as much... And it just helps to not give into temptation. I like both kinds of dates... But, I'd say, go group first [right][snapback]739824[/snapback][/right] [/quote] DEFINITELY THIS ONE. And yes there is such a thing as "group dating." There is safety in numbers, emotionally and physically. You have nothing to lose by trying it this way first.
photosynthesis Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 it really depends on the way your relationship already is. are you friends with this woman? does she know your friends? If she doesn't, it might be more awkward to go on your first offiicial "date" (the purpose of which is to get to know YOU more) when she has to meet your friends too. but if you're all friends with each other than maybe that might be the best idea. i'd say whichever is the least stressful for the two of you. if you're stressed out it inhibits you from enjoying each other's company.
photosynthesis Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 [quote name='Sarah_JC' date='Sep 29 2005, 09:32 PM']Ask her out on a fig! I vote for double date. It's more comfortable, IMHO. [right][snapback]741452[/snapback][/right] [/quote] double dates are weird. especially when the other couple is having problems.
Cow of Shame Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 [quote name='photosynthesis' date='Oct 9 2005, 03:11 PM']double dates are weird. especially when the other couple is having problems. [right][snapback]751756[/snapback][/right] [/quote] hahaha
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