This priest REALLY hurt my feelings!

[zabbazooey]

Okay, so I go to confession today and I sit in front of the priest. I start confessing my sins, and i just mention that I didn't abstain from meat on friday. And he said "That's not a mortal sin. It doesn't matter to God if you abstain from meat. You should stop being stingy and donate money or time. God doesn't care if you deny yourself things because it doesn't help anyone but yourself and that is glorifying yourself"

I was bawling! And I said, "Father you're really hurting my feelings, can we just please get on with confession?"

So I confessed the rest of my sins, and one of them was lying or something and he stops me and says "God cares about that!" after every sin.

So I say my act of contrition and I go to leave and I didn't hear him give me a penance. So I said, "Father, can you please give me a penance?"

and he replied, "I already gave you one, to think about what I said. You weren't listening, are you even sorry for your sins?"

I walked out and just collapsed on the floor in the fetal position bawling my eyes out and EVERYONE just STARED. No one stopped to ask if I was okay or anything like that. Just looked at me as if I were a disease.

I donate money AND time, but isn't self denial important? My friend said abstaining from meat on Fridays is a mockery of Lent, and it makes Lent seem less important and reinforces Catholic stereotypes.

I don't care if people agree with me or not, but they could at least be charitable.

I offered it up.

[zwergel88]

wow, that sounds awful. Abstaining from meat on Fridays is definately important, in fact I have heard that the bishops are thinking about making it manditory again, meaning you couldn't replace it with something else.

Hope you feel better!

[zabbazooey]

Oh yeah he said the church doesn't recommend it, in fact they say it's bad, blah blah blah

That's a load of baloney

[Brother Adam]

I'm so sorry. I have had awful confessions before near about like that. I'd say ignore any advice the priest gave and remember you are forgiven. Wake up tomorrow and make it a new day.

[tojo]

Wow, that sounds really rough. I'm so sorry. I hope all this works itself out soon.

[zabbazooey]

I have a question

If self denial was self glorification and self glorification is wrong, then why do people diet? It's "wrong"

It helps you grow closer in your relationship with God.

I don't understand their point of view.

[Extra ecclesiam nulla salus]

that priest is on a power trip

[MilesChristi]

I'm sorry that you had to suffer through this.

[quote]God doesn't care if you deny yourself things because it doesn't help anyone but yourself and that is glorifying yourself"[/quote]

[quote]My friend said abstaining from meat on Fridays is a mockery of Lent, and it makes Lent seem less important and reinforces Catholic stereotypes.[/quote]

Complete nonsense...

[Maester Supremo]

I'd just say you're being oversensitive.

[theculturewarrior]

I used to feel hypocritical for kneeling a long time in the Adoiration Chapel. I wondered if I was like a Pharisee standing at the corners of streets praying. But then, I started thinking, you can't kneel and be proud! Kneeling by its very nature is humble, and the more you kneel, the bigger the act of humility.

I think it's the same for abstaining from meat. Once my confessor told me Fridays in Lent were optional, just recommended. (I love this man, but he is mistaken)! If you are abstaining from meat to aggrandize yourself, and if, for example, you thank God for not making you like the people who do eat meat on Fridays, that's probably hypocritial. I don't see that here. I see the shepherd abusing the sheep, the ones he's supposed to love. That's hypocritical!

Self-denial is poverty in spirit. If you abstain from meat as an act of solidarity with people who cannot afford meat, that is poverty in spirit. The Kingdom of Heaven is yours! If you take a cold shower and think of the people who can't afford clean, warm water, that is poverty in sp[irit. If you drink tapwater instead of Evian and think of the people who are drinking from contaminated wells, it's the same concept. It is an act of humility. It looks like that priest doesn't understand. that Pray for his soul.

[musturde]

The priest was obviously having a bad day. Perhaps he's justifying not abstaining himself, which i can bet you soo much he's not. Just ignore the priest. Leaving the confessional early would have been justified. I don't care if it's disrespectful, you waited a long time to confess and recieve advice, not criticism or mockery. I'd go far enough to report it to the head priest, but maybe your not as hot headed as I am. Either way, pray for him.

[Jabberwocky]

I can see how you could get upset... confession is so nerve-wracking as it is!
If it helps, I definately think self denial is important, and I don't think you were "glorifying yourself".

[zabbazooey]

Thanks guys! You made me feel so much better and I feel like I really am on the right path.

[CatholicCid]

And he said "That's not a mortal sin."

That right there kinda really scares me... If any Priest i've confessed to got $10 everytime I confessed venial sins, well, they'd be donating a lot to charity

[franciscanheart]

[Nathan]

[quote name='zabbazooey' date='Oct 8 2005, 05:27 PM']I walked out and just collapsed on the floor in the fetal position bawling my eyes out and EVERYONE just STARED.[/quote]

Really?!

Not to be harsh, but I would have been staring too, zabba! I know you're a very passionate young lady and this priest's behavior toward you must have been disappointing, but c'mon... try to grow a thicker skin. This is not the last priest like this you will run into.

[zabbazooey]

Nathan, to be told I'm totally wrong in my faith to be doing something for the greater glory of God, I had a right to be that upset.

[Christie_M]

[zabbazooey]

I realize I'm very sensitive, but I've never run into clergy who have told me I'm WRONG to be doing something like SELF DENIAL.

I'm newer to the faith.

[franciscanheart]

i dont know. ive never run into a priest like that. i dont think theyre really as common as some people are making them sound. i of course could be wrong about it but i honestly have never met a priest like that in my life. ever.

maybe her reaction was a bit much to some people but it was a reaction and a real one all the same. different people react differently. why criticize something we didnt witness? lets pray for both parties involved.

hope you meet some priests that might be a bit more polite in the future zabba.