Frankcdnj Posted December 5, 2003 Author Posted December 5, 2003 PedroX, These numbers are as current as 1994. Again, people lie in surveys and the numbers can be skewed. But the priest agreed with these and sad it is really sad. Frank
PedroX Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Frank, With all respect, 1994 was 10 years ago. The numbers have changed some sense then, especially among high school students. Also, while I certainly would respect and listen to a priests teaching on faith and morals, a priest is not a sociologist, and his "feelings" about a survey is not the same as scientific analysis. I agree that our country is facing a moral crisis, I just believe that we should be as clear and honest as possible about the state of such things. peace...
Frankcdnj Posted December 5, 2003 Author Posted December 5, 2003 PedroX, I will talk with him about some other surveys which are more current and see what his opinion is. But, the priest I speak with is a psychologist as well and has traveled the globe for his ministry. His teaching puts him in contact with noted experts in all fields. So, I have confidence in his numbers. What he tells me is so discouraging it makes me wonder how he has the drive to continue. The prevalence of adultery and fornication is just hard to comprehend according to him. Plus, he stated that the percentage of virgin spouses is under 5% and that a virgin groom is more common. His reason for this is that the women are pressured into sex. Like I said my hopes of a bride who can truly wear white is fading quickly. I have even begun to lower my standards, thinking well no more than 5 sexual partners is ok. And even if she engaged in "risky" sex the fact that protection was used makes it ok with me. Just a very sad situation. Frank
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 I for one proudly wore my white wedding dress, as I truly stood for what the color meant. Being a virgin and marrying a virgin was a blessing beyond compare. Many people may make fun, but they have no concept of what they have lost.
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Frank, don't lower your standards. I felt the same way but I found a wonderful guy who saved himself, his brothers are saving themselves, and my sister is saving herself for marriage. I also have many friends, both male and female, who are saving themselves as well. Don't give up hope. God will send the right person your way.
Frankcdnj Posted December 5, 2003 Author Posted December 5, 2003 (edited) Marielapin, I appreciate your vote of hope. But I am older. As people age they give into temptation. So, even though I have stood my ground, very few women (younger and older) want an older virgin male. In fact I was discussing this with a Catholic woman and she said "do you have a male problem" meaning I am not able to function sexually. I was so delighted when I read Jessica Simpson stated to the press she was a virgin bride. Hopefully she will encourage younger people to hold tight. Some experts had thought the AIDS epidemic would discourage promiscuity but it has not. And both my sisters were virgins but they married several years ago. And even my sister told me when she was planning her wedding, the number of virgin brides was minimal. And I am well aware of the benefits of waiting. You do not have the problem of comparing as well as the bad memories of past sexual experiences. Frank Edited December 5, 2003 by Frankcdnj
hopeful1 Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 23 years and going strong..........and i'm a guy (gasp!). my virginity is my biggest selling point! most girls really admire that about me. and if they don't, they're not worth having around anyway. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
hopeful1 Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 We should start a male virgin club. We can offer ourselves to Rinling Brothers and make money like the bearded lady! Seriously though, i think it's cool I'm in the 97th percentile when it comes to virginity! i'm a chick, but I'm a virgin so can i join? I f anything to meet cool virgin guys (blushes) :rolleyes:
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Frank, I thought you might find this interesting: here in our diocese we have several consecrated virgins. They are pretty much all over the age of 50. Obviously, they are off the market, but I was surprized and pleased to learn how long some people wait. I know someone has mentioned St. Raphael website, but I know Bobbi (revolution of love) found her spouse on http://www.avemariascol.com/ Ave Maria Singles. It might be worth looking into.
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 i don't think the fact that sopmeone isn't a virgin should be reason enough to not date/marry them.
Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 I have even begun to lower my standards, thinking well no more than 5 sexual partners is ok. DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER IF WE ARE GOING TO RIGHT THIS ROTTEN SITUATION!!! I, for one, need as much backup as I can. marielapin, Thanks for your encouraging words to back us up when many others won't!!!!
PedroX Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 What he tells me is so discouraging it makes me wonder how he has the drive to continue. The prevalence of adultery and fornication is just hard to comprehend according to him. Plus, he stated that the percentage of virgin spouses is under 5% and that a virgin groom is more common. His reason for this is that the women are pressured into sex. Look, situation is bleak, and we do need to do all we can about this, but are you telling me that 95% of all people who get married are not virgins? I have been a social worker for 8 years, have specialized in children and families and I find this number to be against every major study of sexuality out there. As I've said, we have a lot of work to do, but there is no need ot pull a chicken little here and start screaming "the sky is falling". Responsible research is important, hyterics are not. peace...
Norseman82 Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 and I'm sure contraceptive companies have a BIG problem with abstinence education -- it would put a dent in their profit! I just thought of something..... You know how it is reported how much money politicians receive from the tobacco industry? How can we find out how much money a politician or candidate receives from the contraceptive producers?
BLAZEr Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 i don't think the fact that sopmeone isn't a virgin should be reason enough to not date/marry them. I don't think anyone is saying that. But I do think many are saying that virginity is a selling point. Kinda like good job, nice teeth, not going bald, devout catholic, never been to prison . . . each of those carries different weight, but Virginity is big on a lot of my friends (guys and girls) list.
Ash Wednesday Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 I think hyper has a point -- though someone may technically not be a virgin, that does not mean they wouldn't make a suitable spouse. If they regret their past and wish to make a new start and have a "new virginity", we should forgive them "seventy times seven" and praise God for their decision. Virginity is just as much a state of the mind, if not more so than merely being a virgin "technically" by body... I known people though technically were virgins, their purity in mind and habits were highly questionable. Some have that "how much can you get away with" mentality. But don't get discouraged -- there are virtuous people out there. Pray and keep the faith.
Lil Red Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 (edited) I don't think anyone is saying that. But I do think many are saying that virginity is a selling point. Kinda like good job, nice teeth, not going bald, devout catholic, never been to prison . . . each of those carries different weight, but Virginity is big on a lot of my friends (guys and girls) list. and to extrapolate from that, blonde or brunette or redhead tall or short fat or thin established in career or just starting out completed college or completed high school glasses or no glasses And on and on and on. I don't mean to sound bad, but if you have your ideal of the "perfect" mate then you're going to miss out on some cool people. I think Hyper and Ash Wednesday have it right. If you automatically discount someone because they are not a virgin, you are not getting to really know them, and could be missing out on something very special. That being said, there are virtuous people out there. And if that's what you want, well then, go for it. Edited December 5, 2003 by Lil Red Devil
BullnaChinaShop Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Look, situation is bleak, and we do need to do all we can about this, but are you telling me that 95% of all people who get married are not virgins? I have been a social worker for 8 years, have specialized in children and families and I find this number to be against every major study of sexuality out there. As I've said, we have a lot of work to do, but there is no need ot pull a chicken little here and start screaming "the sky is falling". Responsible research is important, hyterics are not. peace... I am not sure but that number may have been referring to marriages where both partners are virgins. Some clarification on what that number is referring to would be nice. :)
marielapin Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 Just be wary about the virginity being a state of mind thing. A friend of mine just got out of a relationship where his girlfriend told him she was a virgin. So he thought he was her first. Then he finds out that her next boyfriend was told that she was a virgin....long story short, she has been a "virgin" 8 times already, and my friend was either number 3 or 4. If you really get to know the person, you will find out whether they are virgin in their state of mind as well. But only time can tell this. I've also known guys who were virgins but were desperatley trying to un-become one. But they told girls they were in order to attract them. The real way to find out is to ask them why they are a virgin, and if they think it is important to wait until marriage (not engagement) to have sex. I've known several couples that had sex once they were engaged. But this doesn't make sense, because an engagement isn't marriage. My poor friend I mentioned earlier was one of these folks and since he broke off the engagement he is having a hard time getting over her, for he now has a close, personal relationship with her that is difficult for him to break.
BLAZEr Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 That being said, there are virtuous people out there. And if that's what you want, well then, go for it. Of course you can also go for un-virtuos people, yes liars, thieves, and murderers. Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife."
hyperdulia again Posted December 5, 2003 Posted December 5, 2003 'Seriously, who in their right mind says "I don't really want a virtuous husband/wife."' i do, i think being married to a saint would be hell.
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