Mad at God

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

How can those who go through worse than what I've gone through not be mad at God. It's taking everything within me to keep myself from being mad at Him.

[Marieteresa]

[quote name='Mrs. Bro. Adam' date='Oct 28 2005, 12:10 PM']How can those who go through worse than what I've gone through not be mad at God.  It's taking everything within me to keep myself from being mad at Him.
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I can relate hon...Although my situation wasn't the same. After my mum died I was mad at God for a long time. For years actually....I know for me the one thing I got tired of was people saying "Get over it" If I only had a axe....
Your in my prayers hon

In JM and St. Teresa

[stargirl3:16]

Those that look like they're not mad at God are really mad at God, but have accepted that staying mad at Him will get them nowhere.

[theculturewarrior]

Does death come from God? When I was sick, I prayed for death, but then I realized, God created everything but death, and He gave us Heaven because He doesn't like death. (It made Him weep in the Gospel of St. John). I don't know how true that is, but maybe when someone dies, they're loved ones become angry with the wrong Person. I don't know!

[theculturewarrior]

I don't know if this helps. If it makes you angry or sad, I apologize. It is my faith that for those who love God, all things work together unto good. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I can imagine that it must be immense, and you have my prayers, but I think I can imagine God's hand in the midst of the chaos of the sorrows of life.

Imagine Germany during the 1920's. It was called the Weimar Republic, and it was prospering, and was democratic. A Jewish mother loses her child, and feels the grief of the loss without the saving help of faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus calls to the child, and welcomes him into Heaven, but all the mother sees is the emptiness and sorrow.

10 years later, she has to wear a gold star of David everywhere she goes. Soon, she is in a concentration camp, wondering where God is, but thankful that she doesn't have to see her child suffer this way. She dies. Jesus calls to her from the grave, and she answers the call. Amid the exultation of the Angels and Saints in Heaven, she is reunited with her child, and it all makes sense!

Who knows what tomorrow brings? For those who love God, all things work together unto good.

If this is out of line. I apologize. If you need somebody to scream at, I volunteer! Just PM me.

[stargirl3:16]

I also volunteer to be screamed at.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Mrs. Bro. Adam' date='Oct 28 2005, 01:10 PM']How can those who go through worse than what I've gone through not be mad at God.  It's taking everything within me to keep myself from being mad at Him.
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I have more than once ranted at God. Its ok, He is big enough to handle it.
For all the times I have asked "why me", the answer is [eventually] "why not me".
I always find some comfort in the psalms.
It always comes back to us not knowing and may never know until the Last Day why things happen as they do.
THe Lord gives, the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

This is from the jewish faith, but has universal meaning in a time of mourning.
WORDS OF MOURNING

A cry is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping. Rachel cries for her children. She refuses to be comforted for her children, for they are not. (Jer. 31 15)

The joy of our hearts has ceased; our dance is turned into mourning. (Lam. 5: 15)

Scarcely are they planted;
scarcely are they sown;
scarcely has their stock taken root in the earth.
God merely blows upon them and they wither;
and the storm wind takes them away as stubble. (Isaiah 40: 24)

Our losses press hard upon us, God.

Woman:
Be gracious to me, O God, for I am sorely wounded. My eyes, my soul, and my womb are consumed with grief. I am like a broken vessel. (Ps. 31 10,13) Our cry, too, is heard in Ramah, with those who suffered before us and who suffer beside us. The cries of Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, and Hannah are echoed in mine, and in our lamentation and weeping.

The Couple:
Alas, how does she sit lonely,
Jerusalem,
once great with people,
Once full of life.
Bitterly she weeps in the night.
Her cheek wet with tears.
There is none to comfort her. (Adapted from Lam. I l-2)

O Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night,
Pour out your heart like water before God,
Lift up your hands toward God for the life of your young children. (Lam. 2: 18-19)

We have no redeeming angel, just the two of us together, each of us alone. (Yehudah Amichai)

WORDS OF CONSOLATION
The Man:
And yet, our rabbis teach that on the day the Temple was destroyed, the redeemer was born.

The Woman:
And we know that every monthly menstrual flow is both end and beginning, a dying and an awakening anew for the possibility of life.

Every opening of the womb, timely or untimely, starts a new cycle on its course, a new personal calendar.
God brings everything to pass precisely at its time. (Based on Eccles. 3:11

The Couple:
The Lord our God causes a woman to dwell barren in her house in order to make her the joyful mother of children. (Ps.113:9)

God, it is said that You try only the righteous, as You tried Sarah and Hannah, each according to her strength, to dwell barren in her house...in order to make her rejoice the more in her children. (Pesikta Rabbati 43: 5)

We are not so righteous that we have the strength to suffer so. Please, let the days of our testing be over.

Hear our pleas; comfort us in our hour of sadness.

All barren women everywhere in the world were remembered together with Sarah. All were with child and gave birth to children at the same time she did. (Pesikta Rabbati 42: 4)

After the weeping, singing will be heard:
"I shall rebuild Jerusalem as a joy, and her people as a delight." (Isa. 65: 18)

RITUALS OF CONSOLATION

The Couple:
The couple expresses mourning and consolation as they offer a prayer for the one they lost (adapted from the classic mourner's prayer El Malei Rachamim and based on Isa. 53 2):

God, filled with compassion, dwelling on high,
Grant perfect rest under the wings of the Shekhinah,
among the holy and pure ones who shine brilliantly as the heavens,
To the soul of the little one, our little one,
the tiniest of beginnings –
a slight and small beginning,
a tiny and tender root –
lacking form and beauty and countenance
but still desired and loved.

To make the transition to a ceremonial meal, the couple washes their faces and their hands.

As they do so, they tell of Joseph, who was overcome with emotion when he first saw his brother Benjamin after several years.

The Couple:

"And he went into his room and cried there. And when he was done, he washed his face and came out. Then, in control of himself, he said "Now, let the meal begin." (Gen. 43:30-31)

All present join in eating the meal of foods symbolizing life, fertility, the Temple, and God's care: round challahs, hard-boiled eggs, and water. They may include other foods such as lentils, chickpeas, bagels, and grapes.

While gathered together for the meal, the participants may do what mourners often do in memory of loved ones: study a text from the Torah or offer a devar torah, a short, personal exposition of a classic text. They may also pledge a gift to charity.

CLOSURE

At the end of the meal, the guests take their leave by reciting to the couple:

All:
As the heavens are established forever, and the cycles of
moons and of months are ever renewed, so, too, may your
cycles of hope, fruitfulness, and love resume.

The Couple:
May we, like them, become faithful and joyous workers, and our work truth.

All:
May the words of the psalmist come true:

"Though they walk weeping while bearing their sacks of seed, they shall return with songs of joy, carrying their sheaves of grain." (Ps. 126:6)

Edited October 28, 2005 by cmotherofpirl

[photosynthesis]

I struggled with anger at God after my best friend... we were in love, he converted to Catholicism shortly before he died, he would have made a perfect husband and father. I would have married him in a heartbeat. Then God took him. I still wonder why God would do it... why He would take him from me, and I've been angry with Him about it, although I couldn't admit to Him that I was angry.

Then in the Psalms I noticed that David was real with God. He told the Lord everything, even about the negative feelings, all of the guilt and pain. I told God I was angry, and asked Him to take it away... and He did!

Trust the Lord, and you will be reunited with your child in the joy of Heaven!

[ofpheritup]

I have been mad at God in the past. I will be mad at God in the future.
Sometime...and somewhere, I just don't know when.

That is the nature of our relationship. I am honest with Him about ALL of my feelings. Not just the pretty ones that society approves of.

[Aloysius]

if you must direct your anger at someone, direct it at Adam and Eve through whom death entered the world. direct it at the ancient serpent who tempted them and thus caused death to enter the world.

God allowed this but He did not cause it. If God's will for the world had been followed by man you would be with your child right now. It was not followed by man, adam and eve disobeyed and so too has all mankind in one way or another disobeyed and caused the chaos that led to the unfortunate death of such an innocent.

Do not direct your anger to God. God is the only thing in this entire wretched event that happened to you that was Good. The only thng God may have caused in this is the sweet embrace of your child in the Divine Arms.

[Old_Joe]

feel free to use me as a punching bag.

[hopeful1]

hugs and prayers

[ofpheritup]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Oct 28 2005, 07:23 PM']if you must direct your anger at someone, direct it at Adam and Eve through whom death entered the world.  direct it at the ancient serpent who tempted them and thus caused death to enter the world.

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There is a wonderful support ministry called Compassionate Friends.
It is comprised of wonderful people who have experienced what we have. When it is time, and you will know when that is, I encourage you to give them a call.

Meanwhile, I'm here.

[Sinner]

Mad at God?? Normal. Read book of Job..... man was he pissed! After my 1st wife died I was bitter with God for only about 17 years. Ummmmm yeah, that didn't ever really work for me..... but yeah.... its normal. praying............

[Cow of Shame]

[quote name='Old_Joe' date='Oct 28 2005, 07:28 PM']feel free to use me as a punching bag.
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I doubt that causing others pain will relieve any of hers.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to be mad at God, and others have voiced this well... It's when we shut off communication w/ God that we do harm to ourselves, and limit our healing.

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Oct 29 2005, 12:58 AM']I doubt that causing others pain will relieve any of hers. 

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I meant that she can take out her frustrations on me.

[Aloysius]

[quote name='ofpheritup' date='Oct 28 2005, 11:11 PM']There is a wonderful support ministry called Compassionate Friends.
It is comprised of wonderful people who have experienced what we have.  When it is time, and you will know when that is, I encourage you to give them a call.

Meanwhile, I'm here.
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I didn't mean to give the impression that I had been through anything like this... I'm a guy and not even married yet.. I am sorry for both your losses, but don't lose trust in God.

[jezic]

i think the best thing to do when you are mad at God is to let him know it.

I know that might sound kind of immature, but expressing your feelings to him opens you up to be a vessel of his grace. (and he can handle it.) and he his grace can accomplish a lot.

[Ash Wednesday]

When my mum died, I said to God, "I am angry at you. I don't want to be, but I am anyway."

Not a lot of us on here really get angry at God for kicks -- we are human and it is something we sometimes cannot help when nothing in life makes any sense at all.

We are honest with our dearest ones when we are upset. Why not God? Anger doesn't go away on it's own, even if it's something we don't will or can't help.

After I opened up to God, it gave me a great sense of peace, rather than stuffing that anger and letting it simmer under a big coat of denial and sugar.




(finally got internet at my flat here in London)

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='jezic' date='Oct 29 2005, 01:01 PM']i think the best thing to do when you are mad at God is to let him know it.

I know that might sound kind of immature, but expressing your feelings to him opens you up to be a vessel of his grace. (and he can handle it.) and he his grace can accomplish a lot.
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why would that be immature?