Talking Catholicism with Parents

[franciscanheart]

where do you draw the line with your parents? how much is too much? should we avoid discussing certain things or things to certain extents with our parents? sometimes my father seems very crazy in his belief system to me. he often sounds like he isnt really Catholic. i never tell him because he gets heated enough in our normal conversations about our faith and our church. what would you do?

[photosynthesis]

I pick my battles. Some things just aren't worth arguing about, especially if your parents won't even listen.

[Nathan]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Nov 28 2005, 11:35 PM']sometimes my father seems very crazy in his belief system to me. he often sounds like he isnt really Catholic.[right][snapback]803329[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]

I see this A LOT in adult cradle Catholics in my parish. It's like the only reason they are Catholic is because they were born into it. They don't really see anything special about Catholicism over any number of Protestant denominations; they don't appear to have much of a real knowledge of their faith. And they seem to actually be kind of hostile to a lot of what the Church does teach.

[tojo]

It's true. Many cradles don't understand what it means to be Catholic, and they don't understand WHo and What the Holy Mother Church is, or how her faith operates.

[franciscanheart]

theres only one problem with what you said... he's not a cradle Catholic. he's probably 'experimented' or 'tried out' every faith in the books. he's been to all sorts of churches and such with his friends through the years and for some odd reason decided on Catholicism when marrying my mom. my mom wasnt Catholic either. that makes it even MORE weird. she was raised strict southern baptist and only converted because it was the only thing my dad would convert to. complicated enough? yeah i thought so too.

[Nathan]

Perhaps you should ask your dad what prompted him to convert to Catholicism, when he could have chosen anything. What was it about the Catholic Church that attracted him, and does he still feel the same way? Also, if he doesn't believe in a lot of what the Church teaches, why does he remain a "public" Catholic, in effect, pretending that he does? Nobody is forcing him by gunpoint to stay.

I'd be interested in hearing what he has to say.

[Paphnutius]

Well since we are on this discussion I have often wondered how I should approach the topic with my dad about him being a Mason....any suggestions? Our relationship is quite cold right now because of this and I do not know where to begin.

It really is to the point of tearing my family apart....

[John Lowell]

hugheyforlife,

From your description, it sounds as though your folks are insufficiently committed to any particular view to argue religion persuasively anyway. My suggestion: Not to let reason be the fulcrum of your relationship with them. Instead of making them the object of your homilies, love them. Your Catholicism never will be more convincing.

John Lowell


Paphnutius,

What you report is sad and it sounds as though the two of you could benefit from a stand-down. Remember, it takes two to argue.

There is a certain realism in walking away from discussion that can lead nowhere. Without conceding a thing that is authentically yours, should you be manuevered into a confrontation, let your Dad know in no uncertain term that you love him dearly and that you'd prefer to not to engage. There are things over which we're granted control and other people just aren't in that class. It takes maturity to show acceptance of that fact in our day-to-day behavior. Together with Jesus, make your Dad's Masonic enthusiasms an opportunity for growth in grace. Start by praying for the will of God for him.

John Lowell

Edited November 29, 2005 by John Lowell

[franciscanheart]

John,

thanks for the advice. i try not to get into discussions about theology with my father especially because i know we will end up in circles. often he brings it up and i dont know what to do. i get flustered and he gets angry. it leaves us in an awkward place afterward. but good advice anyway. thanks again.

-hugheyforlife-

[DAF]

I'm very thankful that i have been graced with acceptance of the infallibility of the Church. Some people are so very set in their ways that it's very difficult for them to accept all of the teachings of the Church, not jsut the ones you agree with.

Anwyay, I was in a similiar siuation with my parents, luckily my dad is a revert, though he doesn't really know what to do now, (I'm going to get him a keating/kreeft book for christmas to give him some direction), and my mom either doesn't care, or feels weird with matters of faith (I'll get her a book or two too )

As for your situation, I would say that you should start defeending your faith. If your parents think they can bash the Church without anything out of you, they'll either think that you don't know, don't care, or think they're right. And eventually they'll get too sued to being right, and might even leave the Church. Now I don't want to be dramatic, and I don't know your particular situation in detail, but give them reasons to believe the Church!

[phatcatholic]

[quote name='DAF' date='Nov 30 2005, 06:33 PM']If your parents think they can bash the Church without anything out of you, they'll either think that you don't know, don't care, or think they're right.[right][snapback]806082[/snapback][/right][/quote]
i'm pretty sure they know she is a strong Catholic, which is why they say the things that they do. they like to get a rise out of her and see how she'll respond.