Maternal RANT

[annie]

OK, here it goes. In two weeks I will have three teenagers. I am at my wits end! EVERY day there is some new 'crisis' or mountain to climb. SO Phatmassers, here is annie's theory of WHY THERE SHOULD BE NO SUCH THING AS TEENAGERS:::

Anyone read Michner's ALASKA? It will help you visualize my theory...

Ok, the ancient Innuit people (along with thousands of other ancient people) had a way of life closer to what God intended for us. We are hard-wired biology--created by the CREATOR for a certain way of life.

Why, we may ponder, do human beings reach reproductive maturity at age 11 and do not marry until age 30?? Whassup with this? The ancient Innuits, when their daughters first mensruated, were MARRIED OFF AND LIVING IN THE NEXT IGLOO, CRANKING OUT BABIES AND GUESS WHO HAD TO DEAL WITH THE PMS AND MOODS??? Their beloved husbands, who often were out blubber-hunting just to cope. Families were in tribes (in many places in the world) and women were all grouped with aunts, sisters, nieces, grandmothers etc.---NOT suburban/rural isolated women, dealing with pms-ing teenage daughters.

So, to summarize, we have screwed up our society by delaying the natural process of what God intended. NOT that I want my girls married off now, no no, that would go against what society has set up. But HOW did it come to this? NO WONDER we have a teenage sub-culture with such pressures, confusion and urges meant for 'later' in life, which USED TO BE NOW.
Any comments?

[Myles Domini]

For the most part you have my full agreement Ms Annie :applause: (and I'm serious encase anyone is wondering)

INXC
Myles

[homeschoolmom]

sigh... don't say that... I have a "just around the corner" teen...

[Sojourner]

If my children are anything like I was, I'm sending them off to boarding school.

[Cow of Shame]

I think you're looking to get yourself into trouble by justifying actions bassed on your observations of what occurs in nature.

...and it makes me ill to think of 11 year olds having sex

[annie]

I am certainly not justifying any actions- I am merely stating that our way of life has evolved into something it was not originally intended to be, and there is a price to pay. Just because we have socially become this, does not mean our bodies have adapted. ON the contrary, thanks to good nutrition, hormones in our food supply or both, humans are reaching sexual maturity at even earlier ages. It is getting worse. A 'teenager''s desire for independence is really the ancient calling of the young adult, and this is evident in ancient cultures who permitted adult status to those who were of reproductive age---so the whole kit and kaboodle happened at once.

[homeschoolmom]

So... you have three slightly used daughters for sale-- cheap?

One who can bike long distances and is slighly over-punctured...?

This is where I start singing "Sunrise, Sunset" and you burst into tears...

[inDEED]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Dec 20 2005, 01:37 PM']bassed[right][snapback]832045[/snapback][/right]
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based

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Dec 20 2005, 05:47 PM']So... you have three slightly used daughters for sale-- cheap?

One who can bike long distances and is slighly over-punctured...?

This is where I start singing "Sunrise, Sunset" and you burst into tears...
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[/quote]
That reminds me of the Shel Silverstein poem "one sister for sale" ...

One sister for sale, one sister for sale,
One crying and spying young sister for sale ...

[annie]

oh heavens no, they are ours for the duration, we love them dearly (there are two girls , one boy)

Like I said, it is merely a rant

Cow of shame, yeah, it makes ME sick too to think of that, but that thinking is a product of our modern society. Remember, Mary was betrothed to Joseph and she was maybe 14.

[homeschoolmom]

Rant away...

[annie]

I guess putting up with them is the only way to grandchildren

Until then I have Nella the WonderDachshund to give that unconditional love.....

[beatty07]

Isn't it true that while marriage age is increasing, the age of sexual maturity in girls has been steadily decreasing? What's going on there?

[annie]

hormones in food, too good nutrition or both

[Socrates]

[quote name='annie' date='Dec 20 2005, 03:52 PM']Cow of shame, yeah, it makes ME sick too to think of that, but that thinking is a product of our modern society.  Remember, Mary was betrothed to Joseph and she was maybe 14.
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Here we go again!

If we start allowing 11 years old to have sex, get married, etc., our society will get REALLY screwed up. (Unless your ideal is to live like a bunch of monkeys in the jungle.)

And the using the Eskimo or other "primitive" "natural" societies as an ideal can be dangerous. Eskimos had notoriously loose sexual mores by Christian standards.
If we start idealizing "primitives," we wind up with sexual promiscuity, polygamy, cannibalism . . .

[homeschoolmom]

I'm pretty sure Annie doesn't want her teens to run off and marry. She's frustrated with the situation as it is-- teens with a lot of free time and disposible income and little responsiblity. They feel like adults, but aren't fully...

[Myles Domini]

I see no reason why parents shouldnt be allowed to mimic the example of Western society as it was in the early modern period and maintain a tight grip over the activities of their children, even romantically.

Back in those days eloping was criminal and everyone understood the public dimension of marriage. Even it ifs not an arranged marriage (and arranged marriages are justifiable I say) the parents and family should be involved.

The attack on the family made by secularisim and the tearing up of the extended family have had detrimental effects on society as a whole. Teenagers turn for solidarity and examples now from friends or members of their own peer group and youth culture. This is a problem that needs to be addressed to reshape Occidental society.

Much of what Annie said has a lot of merit. I'm not saying that we should turn all young girls into 18th century maidens at home in Papa's house awaiting handsome suitors and learning their societal responsibilities from the women of the family. However, you could do worse for a daughter than an Elizabeth Bennet (and worse for a son in law than Mr Darcy ).

A youth's role models should come from their own family--particularly the older and wiser members of that family--and a youth's activities should be monitored and known by their family. Youth's should have it drilled into their heads that their primary responsibility is to their family and not to their peergroup. If a revival of paternalism in a form appropriate for today is a way to achieve this by forcefully engineering the solidarity of the family unit and cutting negative cultural influences...Why not?

INXC
Myles

Edited December 21, 2005 by Myles

[annie]

true hs mom, and mine don't even have excessive free time, have a good amount of responsiblitiy, and their only income is what they earn at their jobs, minus 50 percent which goes into savings. NO, I do not think 11 yr olds should marry, but I do think artificially prolonging the jump from childhood to adulthood gives a 'never-neverland' period of way too many years for humans to be left with a body which is made for one life and societal expectations for a completely different one. Good grief, it was less than a generation ago that a woman married at 19 was not so unexpected---boy, nowadays it is unheard of, or if it is, it is scorned or tsk tsk, she should have waited etc.

[annie]

Myles, you are quite eloquent, and I think what you are saying is true. Peer group shmeer group, that is why the homeschooling movement has gained so much momentum---I tell ya, had I known it would be like this, I would have homeschooled

[avemaria40]

I understand this, but I honestly don't want to get married while I'm still a teen. I am 16 and really want to be a doctor (have wanted to since I was 10, if the whole being a Catholic rock star doesn't work out ) and therefore, could not get married for quite some time. I myself am no friend of arranged marriage because I want to be able to have a choice in that, to make sure he's the kind of man I want to spend my life with and the kind of daddy my kids deserve to have (if/when God sees fit to give me some) But for ppl like me, I couldn't get married till at least my late twenties if I continued on my dream to become a doctor, because med school takes a long time. That's why I could never be in that kind of society


Edit, I'm not saying work should be everything, I'm just saying that I could never be a friend to really young marriage being what you're supposed to do. If you're called for it, that's great, I just don't think I am.

Edited December 21, 2005 by avemaria40