Write your own horrible similes

[Cow of Shame]

Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.

[iggy]

Comparing space and time is like comparing apples and Tuesday
- Dr. Tim Gay

Is there any way the first page of this thread could be moved to, uh, manland or something like that?

[Cow of Shame]

There is such a place? Overflowing with beer and fly honeys?

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Old_Joe' date='Feb 7 2006, 08:01 PM']For a second there, I thought it said smilies.

While he was working out in the sun, Larry sweated like a an obese, masked Mexican wrestler on a summer day in the middle of an intense match.
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There should be a spit take smilie.

[Cow of Shame]

[quote name='missionseeker' date='Feb 12 2006, 02:00 AM']There should be a spit take smilie.
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What's a spit take? Is that when you smell of elderberries up that little bit of spit that's left on the lip of the popcan after someone has taken a swig?

[God Conquers]

He bulged with a corpulence that could only be described as "jabba-esque"

[Anthony]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Feb 9 2006, 09:07 AM']none
3 with boobs & one penis, though.
"His knowing brown eyes held her gaze for a seeming eternity, his powerful arms clasped her slim body in an irresistible embrace, and from his broad, hairy chest a primal smell of "male" tantalized her nostrils; "Looks like another long night in the ape house" thought veterinarian Abigail Brown as she gingerly reached for the constipated gorilla's suppository."
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Please, stop polluting this forum with that kind of filth. All your doing is writing some cheap, taudry trash which I find highly inappropriate.

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Feb 12 2006, 12:26 AM']What's a spit take?  Is that when you smell of elderberries up that little bit of spit that's left on the lip of the popcan after someone has taken a swig?
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no, that's backwash.

a spittake is when you're drinking something and then someone or something makes you laugh causing you to spit out whatever you just drank. There used to be one, but i guess it got deleted.

[Guest Rick777]

[quote name='Cow of Shame' date='Feb 7 2006, 06:32 PM'][mod]Mature content[/mod][right][snapback]879593[/snapback][/right]
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As the newest Lady Turnpot descended into the kitchen wrapped only in her celery-green dressing gown, her creamy bosom rising and falling like a temperamental souffle, her tart mouth pursed in distaste, the sous-chef whispered to the scullery boy, "I don't know what to make of her."

She was as tired as an owl who'd been up all night hunting small gray mice. As she sat typing, her eyelids started to droop lower than grandma's pendulous breasts.
[mod]Mature content[/mod]



[b]I was missing Phatmass so I came on today and found this GARBAGE! What is wrong with you people?! Have you no boundries?! You are on a Catholic website! Anyone, any age could read this filth! This disgusts me! I think this is a new low! I'm very glad I have left Phatmass if this is whats going on here, and it's tolerated. Why don't you guys take this garbage somewhere else, and stop polluting good Catholic websites like this? [/b]Despite what I have said I love you all because you are my brothers and sisters in Christ and may He Have Mercy on us.

Edited February 14, 2006 by Lil Red

[Lil Red]

let's keep this thread clean, okay, folks? we do have younger lurkers on this phorum and some things that were posted were not appropriate for them