misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Sometimes I really despair at how difficult it is being married to a Muslim while trying to grow in my Catholic Faith. I am very blessed as my husband through love is very tolerant (which I suppose makes him weak in the eyes of his fellow Muslims). I very freely practice my Faith and raise my children in the Faith, however there are still major difficulties for me- especially in my head, getting around the obligation of a wife to submit to her husband, when he cannot believe in fundamental truths like Jesus' death and the Holy Trinity, or in any hope for my salvation. We pray grace together and he sometimes comes to mass and although my parish priest has told me not to, sometimes I pray for his conversion. There was a time when I was very weak and many Muslims preached to me about my damnation as a kafir and it terrified me, it made me afraid of saying the Hail Mary. But reading the Qur'an and being told about hadiths and different sects of Islam made me feel very lost without God, and actually helped me return to God in the Catholic church. Is anyone in a similar situation? Phatmassers thank you for being a huge inspiration and support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Domini Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I havent experienced any of the things you have experienced but I am in Oxford--technically at the Uni. Which parish do you go to maybe I've seen you without knowing it? Its nice to have another Briton about the place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLAM Dad Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Misereremi, Welcome to Phatmass. I'm curious why your parish priest would tell you not to pray for your husband's conversion? Did he tell you why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='Myles' date='Feb 13 2006, 10:21 AM']I havent experienced any of the things you have experienced but I am in Oxford--technically at the Uni. Which parish do you go to maybe I've seen you without knowing it? Its nice to have another Briton about the place [right][snapback]885573[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Hey! We probably have seen/know each other? I'm in Corpus Christi parish Headington, but often attend mass at The Oratory, or Our Lady's (Cowley). Are you at Oxford Uni? If so, if you go to the Monday night holy hour, I have started going to that... Another phatmasser in Oxford, praise God! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Hey, you and your husband have my prayers! That's really cool that your husband is so tolerant of your Faith and will even attend Mass with you! Why would your priest tell you not to pray for your husband's conversion? That sounds odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='OLAM Dad' date='Feb 13 2006, 10:59 AM']Misereremi, Welcome to Phatmass. I'm curious why your parish priest would tell you not to pray for your husband's conversion? Did he tell you why? [right][snapback]885575[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Thank you. The priest told me to leave it to God as my desire to convert him was a cause of division and non acceptance of him, when I married him as a believer knowing he was a non believer. He told me instead to pray that I give a good example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 13 2006, 11:29 AM']Hey, you and your husband have my prayers! That's really cool that your husband is so tolerant of your Faith and will even attend Mass with you! Why would your priest tell you not to pray for your husband's conversion? That sounds odd. [right][snapback]885582[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Thank you. I think this advice was just tailored to the situation I was in and how I handle it, as the more I got closer to my Faith the less I wanted him to be a Muslim- and this was/is pushing him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Domini Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='misereremi' date='Feb 13 2006, 12:06 PM']Thank you. The priest told me to leave it to God as my desire to convert him was a cause of division and non acceptance of him, when I married him as a believer knowing he was a non believer. He told me instead to pray that I give a good example. [right][snapback]885589[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I usually go to Mass at the Oratory. I'm at Keble College so its just across the road. But perhaps I'll catch up with you at the Holy Hour at the Chaplaincy sometime. Your priest was [b]wrong[/b] to tell you not to pray for your husband. It would be wrong not to pray for anyone who needed it, nevermind those we love. Your priests advice sounds like the reason why the Catholic Church across England and Wales and throughout Europe is loosing so many members: a complete indifferent to the longings of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Our Lord did not come to die for man for nothing, he came because He loved men and wanted them to know His love intimately. The desire to convert your husband is not your own but the Holy Spirit working within you. It is the desire of God to share His love with all those who do not know Him as they should. Its sad that your priest gave you such terrible counsel. All the good example in the world will not convert anyone without the grace of God moving the heart of the other to take heed of your actions. Its obvious you love your husband and in that love its only natural for you to want him to know Christ. Thus I counsel you to pray and offer silent mortifications up for your husband. PS) Have you any children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='misereremi' date='Feb 13 2006, 06:06 AM']Thank you. The priest told me to leave it to God as my desire to convert him was a cause of division and non acceptance of him, when I married him as a believer knowing he was a non believer. He told me instead to pray that I give a good example. [right][snapback]885589[/snapback][/right] [/quote] This is bad advice. You must pray for him DAILY. I will include him in my prayers as well. It is true that we cannot judge those who are not of the Catholic faith and leave them in God's hands but we must in fact pray that God opens us up to how he wants to work in our lives and the lives of others to bring about our conversion and then theirs. We must pray that his will be done in our lives and through us to bring others to the fullness of the truth. We have an obligation to try and convert others to the Catholic faith. In charity of course and allowing the grace of God time to work in their lives so that we are not impatient about it. But by all means pray for him and speak when the opportunity arises. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Thank you, I have been confused for a long time about this. Other priests have told me to pray for his conversion. When I got married I was not strong in my faith and I thought that disparity of cult wasn't an obstacle to love and that we could be one even if we don't share the same faith. Now I struggle with this, but trust that God will help us. We are blessed with 3 children and they all come to mass with me and are raised as Catholics- this was a requirement of our marriage by special dispensation. My eldest is 7 and prays with me a lot, he loves the Divine Mercy chaplet and is named after San Ramon who preached to the Muslims. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avemaria40 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Keep praying and think of the good things, he is tolerant about your Faith and agrees to raise your children Catholic(not an easy thing for many people of different Faith) and he even attends Mass and says grace with you. You never know, God could surprise you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myles Domini Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='avemaria40' date='Feb 13 2006, 01:13 PM']Keep praying and think of the good things, he is tolerant about your Faith and agrees to raise your children Catholic(not an easy thing for many people of different Faith) and he even attends Mass and says grace with you. You never know, God could surprise you. [right][snapback]885638[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yes, you are in an excellent position by the grace of God. Your husband has been extremely open to you especially in light of Traditional Islamic teaching on interfaith marriages it. He obviously loves you very, very deeply and that is a blessing in itself. Praise God, your husband indeed is a good man and that good heart is the start of many great things. An honest heart will always seek the truth and I believe your husband's heart from what you've said is genuinely truthful since truth always shows itself most strongly in the willingness to love. This is good, very good, just keep praying quietly for your beloved and hoping for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misereremi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Thank you, you are all in my prayers as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 [quote name='misereremi' date='Feb 13 2006, 06:42 AM']Thank you, I have been confused for a long time about this. Other priests have told me to pray for his conversion. When I got married I was not strong in my faith and I thought that disparity of cult wasn't an obstacle to love and that we could be one even if we don't share the same faith. Now I struggle with this, but trust that God will help us. We are blessed with 3 children and they all come to mass with me and are raised as Catholics- this was a requirement of our marriage by special dispensation. My eldest is 7 and prays with me a lot, he loves the Divine Mercy chaplet and is named after San Ramon who preached to the Muslims.[right][snapback]885612[/snapback][/right][/quote] pray for him! he will receive many graces through your prayers! i am in a similar situation, my husband was not a Christian when we first met (i was not strong in my faith either), but slowly through my example AND prayers, he believes in the Holy Trinity now, and he is questioning me all the time about what Catholics do. (praise God!) i believe it is because of my praying for his conversion daily, petitioning Jesus in the most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, asking my family members to pray for his conversion; that he is slowly becoming "acclamated" to Catholic faith. ps your eldest child sounds like a blessing from God! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplemama Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 i am in your shoes totally... my husband is not a believer (in anything) but he is tolerant and lets me raise the kids in the faith. I pray for my husband daily, to fail to do so would be masichism (how do you spell that??) because we are one body and one heart in marriage. to let him skip and dance on his merry way to hell without my prayers would be bad for both of us! we are the sanctifiers in the marriage, so pray also for the grace to stay STRONG! Pray to the holy family, say a novena to St. Anne and St. Joachim....pray to St. Monica and do read her little biography. she was married to a pagan man and suffered her whole life, yet kept prayying for him, and he was converted before death. Her son went on to become one of the great doctors of the church St. Augistine! Dedicate your family to the holy family...with every rosary, concecrate your family to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. it is so frusturating, and sometimes i fell like crying, and giving up, and running away and filing for divorce, but I know that i love him, and he loves me, and God put us together for a reason, most likely for me to show him Christ...cause the Good Lord knew his mama would never have shown him Christ (poor thing) Keep up the prayers, and ill pray for you too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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