Telling the Parents...

[HisChild]

That's not awful. That's normal. I continue to have fleeting moments where I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Especially this weekend as things were made sooo real for me! I had the closest thing I'd ever call to a panic attack, except I knew the subject of my feelings. Just realize that either due to ignorance, or differences in beliefs, or just wanting something more from their child/family member/friend, people will tell you what they think you should hear. As my spiritual director told me: don't go and tell a lot of people at work, etc. what you are doing until the last moment. People have their own ideas of what is 'right' and you only have one spiritual director. Listening to people will do nothing but confuse. (and then his favorite saying): Get ready and stay steady. (Pray for him, he's with his Order in Rome for a bit. No one knows for how long, a few weeks, months or back before Easter.)

God bless you.

Denise

[magnificat]

So I'm reviving this thread because I'm getting absolutely frustrated with my parents who clearly did a great job of leading me to believe in something they are so clueless on themselves. Case in point, my dad emails me saying basically that Christ never intended for people to give up their families etc. to pursue the religious life. So, obviously, I point out the passage in Matthew which directly says that
[quote]And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life. [/quote]
And he replies that those were different times and that we need to interpret it in a modern context where technology allows us not to have to do that and because the church interprets stuff as it was 2000 years ago, that's why we see the problems in the church today. Hello?!?! Are we even talking about the same church and the same faith here??? Clearly not.

Somebody help!!! I'm going to go insane! What exactly am I suppose to say to that when apparently my parents don't even have the same core beliefs?!?!

[HisChild]

I can definitely relate. My parents no longer go to Holy Mass. They think I am doing something silly, although they are outwardly more supportive now, I don't believe they believe in what I am doing.

In the end, what I had to do was 'give them up' into our Lord's hands and pray that they become open to His grace as time goes on. You still have to do what you believe our Lord is calling you to, because in the end, if you don't later on, you may wind up regretting not giving Him your 'yes' if that is His will for you. (I'm not saying that you will abandon your vocation, but there are others reading this now, and later, and this might resonate with them as well)

What should you say? Pray for guidance, first, but in the end, share with them that these are your beliefs, and that you feel called to be set aside for Him alone. They will not be losing you, but instead, will gain a whole slew of spiritual daughters. And that, you are called to be a Bride of Christ. . .how can you say no to the Living God, who has so few friends!? Our parents should be honored, instead of being upset.

I'm gathering that your father is talking about the priestly scandals, insofar as the 'problems in the Church' goes. I would reiterate that pedophilia is a mental illness and not an alternative to marriage. Those men, were we to somehow allow married priests, would still have deviant thoughts and/or behaviors. Marriage isn't a cure for deviancy, which is a point that so many people don't get. Gee, if we allow these men to marry, they'll stop picking on little boys.' ~snorts~ Gimme a break!

Here is a quote (or two) of one of my favorite saints, Teresa of Jesus of the Andes:
"The hearts of human beings love one day and the next day are indifferent. God alone never changes."

And here's something that pertains to us:
"How many parents there are who only look to their own interest and strive to avoid the pain of separation by sacrificing the happiness of their daughters by keeping them by their side!"

Prayers for you, May our Lord bless you abundantly.

Denise

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 13 2006, 01:04 PM']So I'm reviving this thread because I'm getting absolutely frustrated with my parents who clearly did a great job of leading me to believe in something they are so clueless on themselves.  Case in point, my dad emails me saying basically that Christ never intended for people to give up their families etc. to pursue the religious life.  So, obviously, I point out the passage in Matthew which directly says that

And he replies that those were different times and that we need to interpret it in a modern context where technology allows us not to have to do that and because the church interprets stuff as it was 2000 years ago, that's why we see the problems in the church today.  Hello?!?!  Are we even talking about the same church and the same faith here???  Clearly not.

Somebody help!!!  I'm going to go insane!  What exactly am I suppose to say to that when apparently my parents don't even have the same core beliefs?!?!   
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Ask if he believes in the power of prayer... That is a huge part of the religious life... if they don't see the power behind prayer, it will be very hard...

[magnificat]

Thanks guys...I love those quotes from St. Teresa!

I'm not holding out much hope on ever convincing them...in a way, I'm almost scared to ask them if they do believe in prayer, etc. partly because I don't think I want to know the answer and part of it is that I'm afraid that it'll push them even further away from the church.

It's so weird...as if I suddenly was startled awake and am wondering who these people are that I thought I knew...

[benedictaj]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 14 2006, 07:53 AM']Thanks guys...I love those quotes from St. Teresa!

I'm not holding out much hope on ever convincing them...in a way, I'm almost scared to ask them if they do believe in prayer, etc. partly because I don't think I want to know the answer and part of it is that I'm afraid that it'll push them even further away from the church. 

It's so weird...as if I suddenly was startled awake and am wondering who these people are that I thought I knew...
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[/quote]
Ohh, praying for you all. That makes my heart ache

[HisChild]

Back in 1987 I left the Church for over 2 years. When I returned to the Church, it was because I spent a lot of time using my head (not just my heart), as I discerned what was/is the true Church of Christ. And of course, I made my decision to return to my Church, to our Church.

A couple of years later, I asked my mother if she ever doubted her faith, if she ever doubted Catholicism. She said she hadn't. Later, I asked her if she ever felt any consolations in prayer, the kind where you get a spiritual 'high', if you will. She said no. So then I asked if she prayed. . .her response was that if she needed to pray, she did. I didn't ask what that meant, but it really saddened me. That was years ago, but now that my family doesn't even go to Mass, I have to wonder about that as well and to be honest, I haven't asked.

I am often startled, wondering how in the world I ever received the grace of a vocation in a family who no longer believes. But I will continue to pray for them. If God who is all Good and all Merciful could choose this worthless sinner, I can certainly pray for my family, that they might be converted.

God bless you.

[passionheart]

I understand your frustrations but even myself at 43 still haven't told my parents about my plans to leave for Buffalo.Yet I believe when you enter, your family will be blessed. As well, your new family will pray for your family too. This became very clear to me when I was with the good sisters in Buffalo.

They asked me about my family and I told them the truth about my difficulties with my parents. Later when I was in the novitiate, Sr. Rose asked what the sisters could do to help ease the difficulties with my parents. They offered to send a roasary or note to help. I was very touched by their generosity because they understand the pain no matter what the age to be unable to share the joy of your vocation with your parents.

All I can say, yes it is painful but keep lifting up your parents in prayer but also keep running your race with Christ and our Blessed Mother.

Peace,

DM