HisChild Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 It's been relatively recently that we've heard about the specific call to the single life (although it's been a vocation for a long time). I was wondering if there are any people out there who either are beginning to feel they feel called to the single life, or those who have felt that for some time, and are therefore living that vocation. What made you feel called to the single life (what did you 'do' for discernment and how long did it take you before you knew you were called to the single life?) Has it been difficult for you to live in the world, witnessing and living the life of a Roman Catholic man/woman, countercultural to today's society? How do you incorporate your prayer life into your busy work life? How has your family/friends accepted that you are not called to the married life or the religious life? Any other thoughts?
Mona Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Hi. I honestly don't know whether I'm called to single life, married life, or religious life (though that's what I'm leaning toward) but what a great question! Single life is definately a vocation and ppl should be proud to be living it out with God.
OLAM Dad Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I would respond but I don't want to hijack the thread and take it prematurely in the direction that I'm sure it will probably go. **Exiting stage left**
zunshynn Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 (edited) I don't think that I have a vocation to the single life, but I do think it's a wonderful vocation! God is so generous in the many ways he has offered for us to serve him. Edited February 22, 2006 by zunshynn
MC IMaGiNaZUN Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 You know, until i was freed from my fears of the single life, i was not ready to enter religiuos life (or married either.) SHALOM
Norseman82 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 No. If I knew I could handle the rest of my life without a wife/kids, I'd already be ordained. Additionally, I see nothing in the Cathechism referring to the single life as a vocation. Please refer to this post in another thread: [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=44622&view=findpost&p=828640"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?s...ndpost&p=828640[/url] State of life is one's [u][i]free choice[/i][/u].
HisChild Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 [quote name='Norseman82' date='Feb 22 2006, 05:04 PM']No. If I knew I could handle the rest of my life without a wife/kids, I'd already be ordained. Additionally, I see nothing in the Cathechism referring to the single life as a vocation. Please refer to this post in another thread: [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=44622&view=findpost&p=828640"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?s...ndpost&p=828640[/url] State of life is one's [u][i]free choice[/i][/u]. [right][snapback]895073[/snapback][/right] [/quote] When you say, State of life is one's free choice.. . .you are meaning what? I'm not sure I agree with what I think you mean. For instance, if someone 'wants' to be a religious, and therefore chooses to do so, but does not have the vocation to be a religious, chances are, that person won't have the grace to fulfill that vocation faithfully. Many people leave religious life, during the discernment process of the postulancy and novitiate when they discover they are not called to that state in life. Yes, you are free to choose to be a religious, but only after you've been called. If you are saying that the state in life, regarding the single life, is one's free choice, meaning that it isn't a vocation at all, but only a choice, well then, yes, I agree. I've seen titles of books on shelves in Catholic bookstores about those who remained single, perhaps even just being a 3rd order lay person. . .but remaining in the world. And I am just wondering what would cause a person to desire to be in the world as a single person, not married, not consecrated. Is it a 'Vocation'? Maybe not. I've known priests and even a former spiritual director who said to me, "I don't believe you are called to the single life or the married life. I believe you are called to be a religious', fully making it sound as though the single life is a vocation. You say that the single life isn't a vocation. But I've never read anything saying definitively that 'single life is NOT a calling. It is not a vocation.' Is it because it is not recognized as one, or is it because the Church doesn't want to offend those who are living a single life (like if someone is single due to some circumstance, then by saying single life isn't a vocation, that will somehow destroy that person's dignity). Any clergy out there who could assist?
Laurentina1975 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Ok. I have thought of all forms. Recently someone brought to my attention single life, it was actually a religious. She told me that she was either called to single life or religious life and knew at a young age. I never really pondered it until she brought this up. I guess I could see being single, being a consecrated woman and devoting all of my time to the church....but.... The reason I feel called to either religious life (God willing) or married life is because I desire community. I am sure I could have community in some forms in single life, but I desire to "live in community", if that makes any sense, I dunno ~ but anywhoo.... I'm unworthy and it's all up to God.
Norseman82 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 22 2006, 06:18 PM']When you say, State of life is one's free choice.. . .you are meaning what? [right][snapback]895082[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Believe it or not...you answered it perfectly here [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 22 2006, 06:18 PM']If you are saying that the state in life, regarding the single life, is one's free choice, meaning that it isn't a vocation at all, but only a choice, well then, yes, I agree. I've seen titles of books on shelves in Catholic bookstores about those who remained single, perhaps even just being a 3rd order lay person. . .but remaining in the world. And I am just wondering what would cause a person to desire to be in the world as a single person, not married, not consecrated. [right][snapback]895082[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I was not referring to ordination/religious life. But, like ordained/religious life, lifelong singleness - for a Christian - means a celibate life. Ability to handle celibacy is one of the things that factors in the discernment process. One of the disturbing trends in Christianity today is this idea that every aspect of our lives are planned out for us to the point that we don't even have a say in our choice of spouses (the whole notion of our spouse having been specially prepared for us from the beginning of time). This throws a monkey wrench into the concept of free will and personal responsibility and often leads to an unhealthy second-guessing rendering people incapable of making decisions for themselves. And in the area of "state of life", it is too often used by the anti-marriage crowd to lay guilt trips on people for wanting to get married, or wanting a quality spouse.
HisChild Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 I'm not sure what an anti marriage crowd is. The only anti crowd I've dealt with, unfortunately, is the anti-religious life crowd. These people then lay guilt trips on people for getting married, instead of. . . religious life? Or just remaining single? I don't believe that God is a micromanager, don't get me wrong, but I do believe that He invites certain people to answer the call to the priesthood or religious life. Yes, free will figures greatly into and I don't believe that He zaps people with a lightning rod, if those invited do not accept the invitation. And yet, it is a calling to be sure. Not everyone can answer that call, just like not everyone can be. . .I don't know.. . .a pilot, even if they have a desire to do so.
Norseman82 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 22 2006, 07:12 PM']I'm not sure what an anti marriage crowd is. The only anti crowd I've dealt with, unfortunately, is the anti-religious life crowd. These people then lay guilt trips on people for getting married, instead of. . . religious life? Or just remaining single? [right][snapback]895125[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Consider yourself fortunate, because I've run into them. I'm talking about the crowd that whenever you express a goal to be married they start harassing and faulting you with stuff like "you don't need a spouse/family to be happy" or "you are better off alone" or "being alone is not that bad" or "are you sure God wants you to be married?" (the micromanaging you refer to later) or "you are making your happiness dependent on someone else". Maybe it is part anti-marriage and part anti-male, since I hear this harassment mostly from women. Maybe it is because they are spooked by or bitter over a divorce or bad experience with a man or maybe it is one of those "big city" things. [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 22 2006, 07:12 PM']I don't believe that God is a micromanager, don't get me wrong, but I do believe that He invites certain people to answer the call to the priesthood or religious life. Yes, free will figures greatly into and I don't believe that He zaps people with a lightning rod, if those invited do not accept the invitation. And yet, it is a calling to be sure. Not everyone can answer that call, just like not everyone can be. . .I don't know.. . .a pilot, even if they have a desire to do so. [right][snapback]895125[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Again, as I've stated previously, in my posts in this thread, I am not referring to religious life. But, aside from vocation to a religious life, there are people who seem to have been coopted by a Calvanistic view (maybe because they watch too many non-Catholic TV preachers) of God as a micromanaging puppeteer.
Laurentina1975 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 (edited) Wow.... I'd love to stick around, but I cannot hang out on phatmass 24/7...gotta hit the hay, I'll post in the a.m., if I can get myt buns outta bed. Edited February 23, 2006 by Laurentina1975
All4HIM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 I am called to the life of a consecrated virgin. That´s not quite "single" (because living as a bride of Christ is not single - not in my opinion... !!!) , but it means living "alone"... I have been living in the private vows for 6 years now and it was the best decision in my life... : : :
shortnun Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 [quote name='All4HIM' date='Feb 23 2006, 12:27 AM']I am called to the life of a consecrated virgin. That´s not quite "single" (because living as a bride of Christ is not single - not in my opinion... !!!) , but it means living "alone"... I have been living in the private vows for 6 years now and it was the best decision in my life... : : : [right][snapback]895391[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Thanks for your input and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All4HIM Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 (edited) [quote name='shortnun' date='Feb 23 2006, 02:56 PM']Thanks for your input and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [right][snapback]895475[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Edited February 23, 2006 by All4HIM
zwergel88 Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 I guess I could say that I feel called to the single life. I not 100 percent sure about that but almost. I guess I just think that my life would be best lived dedicated to a career where I can help people and still keep relatively to myself.
LouisvilleFan Posted February 24, 2006 Posted February 24, 2006 A few years ago, I was convinced my calling was marriage. It was sincerely the deepest desire of my heart, and there is a psalm that says God will give you the desires of your heart. Well, I have a crazy Catholic aunt (crazy in a good way) who once told me God could be calling me to the priesthood. I told her that he better hurry up with that calling because I'm dead set on getting married and.... oh yeah, I'm not even Catholic : Well, jump ahead a few years to today... I'll be entering the Church this Easter Vigil and as soon as possible this summer, I want to begin discerning about religious life. Just goes to show ya... never can be too sure about God's plans As for the vocation of singleness, coming from someone pretty new to Catholicism, it doesn't seem quite the same as priesthood, religious life, or marriage. These are more structured and require taking vows. Surely there is an intentional element to the vocation of singleness, and I don't doubt that some people are called to singleness at least for a period of life, and maybe for the rest of their lives. But where the Church needs vocations of marriage and the priesthood, vocations to singleness are not absolutely required in the same way. But I do think some people are legitimately called to singleness. It's not like every person is destined to take vows of some sort before they die. Maybe in this age when our culture says single people deserve complete sexual freedom... do whatever you want, with whoever, whenever... just like on TV! (And the people on "Friends" seem so happy and fulfilled... ), the Church does need celibate singles as living examples of how Christ fulfills our lives to destroy the lies Satan has convinced the world of. Still, regardless of our individual callings, I don't currently view singleness as a vocation in the fullest sense of the word "vocation." Just my two cents... I'm open to hearing others' input/experiences as well.
Laurentina1975 Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 [quote name='All4HIM' date='Feb 23 2006, 12:27 AM']I am called to the life of a consecrated virgin. That´s not quite "single" (because living as a bride of Christ is not single - not in my opinion... !!!) , but it means living "alone"... I have been living in the private vows for 6 years now and it was the best decision in my life... : : : [right][snapback]895391[/snapback][/right] [/quote] The call to be a consecrated virgin is a very special call indeed! Where can one read mor about that?
shortnun Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 (edited) [quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Feb 26 2006, 01:07 AM']The call to be a consecrated virgin is a very special call indeed! Where can one read mor about that? [right][snapback]897944[/snapback][/right] [/quote] [b][url="http://www.consecratedvirgins.org/"]National Association of Consecrated Virgins[/url][/b]........ or you could do a Google (or [b][url="http://www.prolifesearch.com/"]ProLife Search[/url][/b]) and probably come up with a whole host of sites. Edited February 26, 2006 by shortnun
All4HIM Posted February 26, 2006 Posted February 26, 2006 [quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Feb 26 2006, 08:07 AM']The call to be a consecrated virgin is a very special call indeed! Where can one read mor about that? [right][snapback]897944[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I don´t know if you can speak German - here is the URL of two consecrated virgins living near me. There are many pictures of the consecration (it took place in their parish... ): [url="http://www.acht-seligkeiten.de/jungfrauenweihe.htm"]http://www.acht-seligkeiten.de/jungfrauenweihe.htm[/url]
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