Natural Family Planning

[Era Might]

[quote name='Extra ecclesiam nulla salus' date='Mar 7 2006, 12:12 AM']you were arguing that is up to every couple to decided what constitues the contraceptive use of NFP. that rings of indifferntism.
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No, Sam, it has nothing to do with indifferentism.

One factor may legitimately justify the regulation of pregnancy in one situation, while the same factor may not justify the regulation of pregnancy in another situation.

This is a matter of moral application, and you can't define such application in a moral theology manual. It has to be addressed in real life situations, by each couple, with the guidance of their confessor.

Edited March 7, 2006 by Era Might

[Cam42]

In Humanae Vitae, Pope Paul recognized conjugal love as eminently human, but rooted in God's love for His people. He saw it as the dynamic element in every marriage, bringing permanence to the marriage and enabling the couple to make wise, generous, and responsible decisions about the spacing of births and the size of their family. Humanae Vitae provides a positive and dignified understanding of sexuality as a gift from God which ennobles, enriches, and reconciles married couples. Through sexual union, couples strengthen their marital relationship and participate in a special way in God's creation of new life. From this follows the profound meaning of a life of intimacy--that communion of two persons who must be open to each other in a mutual self-donation that reaches its apex in the loving union that bears fruit in children.

Spouses are called to celebrate their conjugal love by becoming one flesh in the Lord, and to see their sexual intimacy in the context of God's creative role and the nature of marriage itself. By remaining open to life each time they come together in the conjugal embrace, by preserving "the two meanings of the conjugal act: the unitive meaning and the procreative meaning" (HV 12), married couples reverence the presence of God in their union. In truth, the Church teaches that there are two aspects of marital intercourse--the strengthening of interpersonal unity between the spouses, and the procreation of new life. These two goods are inseparable--not in the sense that both must be achieved in every act of conjugal intimacy, but in the sense that one may not deliberately act against either good in any act of conjugal intimacy.

Responsible parenthood, then, implies a positive openness to life. It is a decision that couples make mutually and prayerfully, confident that God's grace will complement their generosity. Couples should make decisions about spacing births and the size of their families free of coercion or pressure. Taking into account their mutual responsibilities to God, themselves, their family, and the society of which they are a part, in a correct hierarchy of values, a couple may responsibly decide to delay childbearing. Or a husband or wife may conclude that they are unable to have more children. In the formation of their consciences, however, the couple must be well-instructed in and guided "by objective standards . . . that preserve the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love" (Gaudium et Spes 51).

[quote name='USCCB']As we reflect on the teaching of Humanae Vitae, we recognize the advances in natural family planning [NFP] and the efforts of scientists, pastors, and married couples committed to "instilling conviction and offering practical help to those who wish to live out their parenthood in a truly responsible way" (FC 35). With proper instruction, married couples can readily understand the cycle of fertility and they are able to plan and space births in a way that is both consistent with God's law and supportive of their own intimacy and unity. Natural family planning, as Pope John Paul II reminds us, "involves accepting dialogue, reciprocal respect, shared responsibility and self-control" (FC 32). And as Paul VI noted in Humanae Vitae, its benefits to married couples are many:

It demands continual effort, yet, thanks to its beneficent influence, husband and wife fully develop their personalities, being enriched with spiritual values. Such discipline bestows upon family life fruits of serenity and peace, and facilitates the solution of other problems; it favors attention for one's partner, helps both parties to drive out selfishness, the enemy of true love, and deepens their sense of responsibility. By its means, parents acquire the capacity of having a deeper and more efficacious influence in the education of their offspring (HV 21).

Natural family planning gives couples a richer appreciation of human sexuality and of their own marital relationship, and it strengthens their openness to childbearing.[/quote]

I think that looking at what the USCCB says, what the Church teaches and what our conscience speaks to us, we can see that what impregnates (pun intended) the whole of this is responsibility. Sometimes it is more responsible to abstain from sexual intimacy during those times when it would not normally be natural to do so.

As humans, we have the gift of reason. We can choose to abstain and we can choose to be responsible in the areas of parenting, sexuality, and a myriad of other areas. This separates us from other animals which are based solely on instinct.

Natural Family Planning is not, I repeat not contraception.

It is responsible conception. What is the purpose of NFP? Achievement of pregnancy by understanding the fertility cycle better and learning when the probability of concieving is highest. Then engaging in the sexual act at that time.

Remember, having sex is not a right, it is a privelege. Even those who are married are called to chasitity. Part of this is continence. There are times within the marriage, in which the sexual act is not appropriate.

NFP, optimizes the sexual action. It does not prevent the sexual union but sacntifies it.

Remember the threefold meaning of the sexual action.

1. Sacramental
2. Unitive
3. Procreative

Does NFP contradict any of these things? No. Does contraception contradict any of these things? Yes.

Can NFP be used inappropriately? Yep. It can be used as contraception, in order to avoid pregnancy. This mindset is not in keeping with Catholic teaching. The Catholic mindset of NFP is as stated above. It is not to avoid pregnancy, but rather to promote, through proper chastity, the conception and birth of a child.

Three quotes from Fr. Frank Pavone:
[quote]NFP does not separate sex from responsibility. The act of intercourse has a twofold meaning: sharing of love and giving of life. Married persons who perform this act must accept both sides of the coin. While not every marital act will result in a child, it must nevertheless be open to the possibility of life. The act will be "open" to life as long as the spouses do nothing to "close" it. Here's the difference between artificial birth control and NFP. In the first case, one does something (takes a pill, uses a condom, etc.) to deliberately "close" the life-giving power of sexual intercourse. In NFP, however, no such step is taken. The spouses do not act against their fertility. They do not reject the link between the two meanings of sex (love and life). They simply follow the natural patterns of the body's fertility and infertility -- patterns placed there by God Himself. In the fertile days of a woman's cycle, if there are serious reasons to avoid pregnancy, the couple respectfully steps back from the act of intercourse. In using birth control devices, however, they attack the meaning of the act -- they do the action of intercourse and then undo part of it. In NFP, instead, they simply choose at times not to do the action in the first place.[/quote]

[quote]NFP is not just a "method" based on physiology. Rather, NFP is based on VIRTUE. It is based on sexual self-control, which is necessary for a healthy marriage. There are times in any marriage when spouses have to put aside their desire for sex because of sickness, fatigue, travel, or other reasons. In a healthy marriage, love is shown in many ways, and not all these ways of showing love are physical. In fact, to refrain from sex when necessary is itself an act of love. Why? Because in effect the spouses then say to each other, "I did not marry you just for sexual pleasure. I married you because I love you. You are a person, not an object. When I have sex with you, it is because I freely choose to show you my love, not because I need to satisfy an urge." Using NFP requires abstinence from intercourse during the fertile days if a pregnancy has to be avoided. This actually can strengthen the couple's sexual life. When the spouses know that they can abstain for good reasons, they also come to trust each other more, and avoid the risk of treating each other primarily as objects of sexual pleasure rather than persons. Artificial birth control, on the other hand, gives free reign to the temptation to make pleasure the dominant element, rather than virtue. It encourages couples to think that sexual self-control is not necessary. It can encourage them to become slaves to pleasure.[/quote]

[quote]As with anything good, NFP can be misused, if a couple has the wrong motives. Married couples are called by God to cooperate generously in bringing forth and educating new life. For a couple to decide that "we don't want children at this time", there need to be serious, objective reasons (health, finances, etc.). If the reasons are not objective but selfish, then the couple cannot justify the avoidance of pregnancy just because they are using NFP to do it. In this case they are not practicing "family planning", but "family avoidance"![/quote]

These are my thoughts I have posted here on NFP over the last year or so.

[Era Might]

I think all couples need to start out with a clear understanding of their vocation, which is intimately bound up in the begetting of children. A couple which is lukewarm in its desire to beget children would be like a missionary who is lukewarm in their desire to convert souls.

When this first principle is understood and truly taken to heart, I think the couple will have a strong foundation on which to discern their situation and whether or not they should delay pregnancy. It won't be a question of selfish desire (as in the Playstation example), but a true committment to responsible parenthood.

Edited March 7, 2006 by Era Might

[Brother Adam]

NFP can never be used as contraception by definition. It does not interupt the sex act. Contraception always changes the physical act itself to try to interupt procreation. NFP never introduces changes to the conjugal act, merely regulates when the conjugal act takes place.

[Aloysius]

Yes, which is why Paul VI says the method in itself does not in the least offend moral principals. but it can be used with a contraceptive mentality, and it wouldn't be the method offending moral principals but the mentality behind the method in that case.

[Era Might]

Right. In the same way the conjugal act itself can become lustful, even if there are no illicit physical practices introduced. Contraception is ultimately a mentality, a "using" of the other person.

[photosynthesis]

could it be argued that NFP is morally neutral?

[Norseman82]

I believe this subject has been touched upon (in the context of its use by newlyweds) in a previous thread:

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=39329"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=39329[/url]

[Socrates]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='Mar 7 2006, 06:24 PM']I believe this subject has been touched upon (in the context of its use by newlyweds) in a previous thread:

[url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=39329"]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=39329[/url]
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I was just getting ready to give a link to that!

That thread got locked after getting rather ugly. Here we go again!

[photosynthesis]

well, I didn't want things to get ugly at all... a friend of mine (who recently decided to return to the sacraments and study the Catholic Faith) and I were talking about this topic and both of us had some questions

[thessalonian]

Well let me tell you when NFP was not okay for me. My wife and I had our fourth child and three from her previous marriage, totalling seven. A healthy number by any days standards. She was thinking it was time to slow down and so we stopped at a Catholic book store to get an NFP book. My wife had a special devotion as a new Catholic to a blessed Gianna Berretta Mola at the time. We were even going to name our 4th Child Gianna if it was a girl but he was a boy. The woman who owned the store had a poster of Blessed GBM on the store window so my wife talked to her about the woman who died rather than have an abortion to save herself, choosing to allow her child to be born instead. She had cervicle cancer. Well the woman gave my wife the poster to take home. Then my wife asked about NFP books and the woman said I think people use it for contraception and so I don't use it. My wife told the woman that our son would have been named Gianna if he had been a girl. She said "well maybe your next child will be Gianna".

Two years later we were pregnant again. It was September. In January we choose names and decided if it was to be a girl we would call her Gianna. Well on Feb 19th we found out that Pope JP II was going to canonize Blessed Gianna Berreta Molla a saint on May 16th. The due date for the baby was mid may. I am not kidding or making this up. But there is more. I've never known anyone to go to a canonization in Rome. It turns out that the Godmother for the baby was going to be in Rome in mid may and also the doctor who was to do the delivery set up a trip to go to the canonization as she had a devotion to BGBM who was a doctor as well. The Godmother left at the exact time the baby was born, 3:30 May 11 and the doctor gave birth to our baby Gianna as the last delivery she did before she left for Rome. True story.

The bottom line is if you think you need to slow down on having children and that your reasons are grave for doing so, God may see it otherwise. Little Gianna is the sweetest, cutest little girl.
Always be open to life and you will recieve a great blessing.


Blessings

Edited March 8, 2006 by thessalonian

[stbernardLT]

[quote name='thessalonian' date='Mar 8 2006, 06:24 AM']Well let me tell you when NFP was not okay for me.  My wife and I had our fourth child and three from her previous marriage, totalling seven.  A healthy number by any days standards.  She was thinking it was time to slow down and so we stopped at a Catholic book store to get an NFP book.  My wife had a special devotion as a new Catholic to a blessed Gianna Berretta Mola at the time.  We were even going to name our 4th Child Gianna if it was a girl but he was a boy.  The woman who owned the store had a poster of Blessed GBM on the store window so my wife talked to her about the woman who died rather than have an abortion to save herself, choosing to allow her child to be born instead.  She had cervicle cancer.  Well the woman gave my wife the poster to take home.  Then my wife asked about NFP books and the woman said I think people use it for contraception and so I don't use it.  My wife told the woman that our son would have been named Gianna if he had been a girl.  She said "well maybe your next child will be Gianna".

Two years later we were pregnant again.  It was September.  In January we choose names and decided if it was to be a girl we would call her Gianna.  Well on Feb 19th we found out that Pope JP II was going to canonize Blessed Gianna Berreta Molla a saint on May 16th.  The due date for the baby was mid may.    I am not kidding or making this up.  But there is more.  I've never known anyone to go to a canonization in Rome.  It turns out that the Godmother for  the baby was going to be in Rome in mid may and also the doctor who was to do the delivery set up a trip to go to the canonization as she had a devotion to BGBM who was a doctor as well.  The Godmother left at the exact time the baby was born, 3:30 May 11 and the doctor gave birth to our baby Gianna as the last delivery she did before she left for Rome.    True story.

The bottom line is if you think you need to slow down on having children and that your reasons are grave for doing so, God may see it otherwise.  Little Gianna is the sweetest, cutest little girl.
Always be open to life and you will recieve a great blessing. 
Blessings
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AMEN, being open to life and letting God handle the decision making is awesome. Me and my wife have been married for four years and we are about to have our fourth child. Our house is the happiest place in the world. The goods out way the bads by about 100 to 1. We don't have a big income but God has provided "unbelievably" in all aspects of our life. NFP is about being open to life and experiencing chastity inside of marriage, anything short of this is short of Catholic teaching. Do you have you have to have a baby every year, of course not, but the fear of not being able to provide comes directly from a lack of faith. Jesus said ask and it shall be given. Anyway If we follow God's example, doesn't he have like 6.5 billion children.

[toledo_jesus]

I remember the newlyweds thread.

As I recall, nobody wanted to hear "Don't get married until you can afford it."
That's the crux of the problem...people doing what they want instead of what they ought. NFP should definitely not be used when you first start out. It should not be used simply because you have decided you have enough kids. It should only be used in grave circumstances such as poverty or some other reason someone else has probably said. If there is a pre-existing state of poverty, it is both unwise and irresponsible to get married. Yes, it is. If, however, you decide to get married without financial stability, then you should definitely go whole hog and try to have a couple kids...if not to fulfil the procreative aspect of the union, then for some sort of tax break.

And I don't want to hear any [b]sappy [/b]nonsense about marriage and sacraments and stuff like last time. Money talks, and something else walks, I can't remember what it is but I do remember it walking.

A [i]liberal [/i]priest raised the point with me about the end result of birth control and NFP being the same.

fewer babies=fewer babies=fewer babies.

[avemaria40]

[quote name='Aloysius' date='Mar 7 2006, 12:00 AM']  expensive college is not a necessity of life to ever child you have.
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Though it could be argued that the money you don't spend on contraception could be used for university education since there would be no worries about having to buy contraceptive paraphernalia.

That was an amazing story! If/when I do get married, I will only use NFP when necessary, b/c I want to be open to God and I want a lot of kids. I love children and it would be cool to have a huge family reunion when their all grown, lol and have lots of grandkids to spoil. The world needs more kids, it's in places like Russia where their population is dying and in Third World countries when they are forcing women to be sterilized and abused by their husbands, when teaching them NFP could get basic education to them and their husbands (reading, counting, telling time, writing) so they could get basic jobs to support their families. many women have bad reactions to birth control in those places and can't even take care of their kids. As for the college thing, I am going to college, and if I am meant to marry and raise a family, I will. I can always have a career after my children are grown.

Edited March 8, 2006 by avemaria40

[Ash Wednesday]

I'm skeptical that the cost of not using contraception could make much difference as far as college is concerned -- but it's o.k.... the excuse that one wants their kid to be able to go to college can certainly be questioned because most people end up getting loans for that anyway. My parents couldn't really help me through college but in the end it was all right. I learned a lot about how to handle my money properly and appreciate the education that I was getting, since I footed the bill. I didn't envy my friends whose wealthy parents seemed to just send the kids away and they sat there at college seeming completely lost. It was like a twisted version of boarding school for adult children. And just as bad are parents that tell their kids what to study because the parentals are the ones paying for it...

Anyway back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[MagiDragon]

[quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Mar 8 2006, 10:39 AM']fewer babies=fewer babies=fewer babies.
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I'll concede the equation, but i think intent is a *HUGE* part of morality. Fewer babies by killing them is totally different than fewer babies by exercising self-restraint. If i intend to allow God to be in charge of my life, then *that* is the important thing. In the case of contracepting people, their very actions say "I don't care what God wants, I already know what's best." NFP used correctly says "I think i know what is best, and I'm going to act accordingly. If i'm wrong, God is still in control." The two mindsets are *HUGELY* different.

[Brother Adam]

[quote]If there is a pre-existing state of poverty, it is both unwise and irresponsible to get married.  Yes, it is.  [/quote]

Now there is COMMUNIST thinking! That is absolute hogwash. I hear the same thing from neo-nazi's, feminists, and liberals. Are you also for forced abortions and sterilization on the poor in third world countries? They are already pushing bills to force people below the poverty line to use contraception in the US. There is nothing wrong with raising children and living without wealth. what a load of carp.

Edited March 9, 2006 by Brother Adam

[MagiDragon]

hmmm . . . it did *seem* wrong when i read that, but i didn't know why. it really *IS* communist thinking.

[Brother Adam]

And that isn't an attack on you personally toledo...I was shocked to read that from you since you have always been orthodox and faithful. Perhaps you just haven't really thought it through. There are cases in which it would be irresponsible to be married, however I don't think poverty is one of them.

[MagiDragon]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Mar 8 2006, 08:45 PM']And that isn't an attack on you personally toledo...I was shocked to read that from you since you have always been orthodox and faithful. Perhaps you just haven't really thought it through. There are cases in which it would be irresponsible to be married, however I don't think poverty is one of them.
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i think i've heard that having similar genetic weaknesses could be one. any idea if that's true? it's essentially like inbreeding, but . . . less obvious.