Looking for advice . . .

[LilyofSaintMaria]

Hi!
I know that this may be a topic that has been went over and over on here - discernment. But could I put it under a certain person's view point (maybe mine in particular), and see if any of you can take a crack at it?
Well, let's say I have looked at religious life all my life - since I was very little after watching Mother Angelica and such. I never actually voiced my thoughts then, but now I say that I am leaning more and more toward Religious life. I am 19. However, the thing is I keep on going back and forth with my thinking. Religious life, marriage, religious life, marriage. It's so confusing! I would love to have a VERY Catholic family and help turn them into saints. But then, I have this spirit of wanting to go out and converting the whole world. But then I am totally shy with people in person and I see that converting the world is just to big of task, and I would play such a small role in it, I wouldn't get much done if you look at the whole picture - but I want so much to help everyone! Then I look in the Religious life and into the missionary apostolate. But then I look at myself and I am so independent, I'm not sure if I would actually do good within a community. I love the vows and that life - but community life . . . I just don't know. And leaving my family - that breaks me really. Then looking at Single life, ughh, I just see myself trying to get out of all the problems I just listed. I look at trying to end abortion, help our corrupt nation, Africa, etc. I just can't do everything, but I want to. See, look, I said I want to? Is it what God wants? What does He want? I pray, although finding quiet moments is nearly impossible here. I am discerning, although I am busy with my obligations, too. Visiting Communities in order to see if this is the right one is so hard with family, money, and so on, that it is nearly impossible unless I am sure as much as I can be, that the order may be God's place for me. How can I discern that far without visiting them? I can go on and on here, but I guess I better not. For now I'll end. Please though prayers and any advice is more then welcome. Thank you tons.

Bernadette

[HisChild]

Bernadette.

First, I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you for your discernment.

I am wondering if there are any good and holy priests near you that you could ask for spiritual direction. That would be the best first recourse.

As for writing to communities. . . prayer is the best first step. You have a lot of really wonderful thoughts.

Not to push you in one direction or the other, but St Therese also wanted to evangelize the world. She wound up in the cloister where she 'could do more good and be of better help praying' than actually being the missionary that she commented on! Granted they had so few active orders then, but. . . .

Have you thought of the different charisms of communities/orders? There are Dominicans, Franciscans, Carmelites, Benedictines, etc.

These are things to consider when beginning the discernment process.

I have to leave for Mass in a moment, but if you'd like, feel free to PM me for more questions, or post on here. I will be more than happy to help, in whatever way I'm able. And of course, as I mentioned before, be assured of my prayers.

Yours in Christ,
Denise

Edited March 26, 2006 by PCPA2Be

[stlmom]

Dear Bernadette,
At age 19, all of the questions you raise sound so.....normal!!! Some folks just know that they are called very early, and some must learn by the trial and error method of life experiences as they begin to interact with the world beyond their families. God doesn't necessarily make it easy for most of us. Your first work or college experiences can help you learn more about yourself and your future vocation. (Obviously, you have to avoid those influences that jeopardize your spiritual integrity as you try to determine your calling.) Having trusted adult advice is priceless here too.
Since you mentioned in another post that you live on a farm, I wondered what your experiences are outside of your home life. Years ago, I grew up on a farm in PA, and by 19 I knew I needed to branch out beyond my immediate situation to find my calling. At any rate, I sure can empathize with you; you will find many friends and lots of food for thought here.

I know how how feel about wanting to do so much for God. Let me share this thought with you from Dorothy Day:

One of the greatest evils of our day is the sense of futility. People say,
"What can one person do? What is the sense of our small effort?"
They cannot see that we can only lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time; we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment. But we can beg for an increase of love in our hearts that will vitalize and transform these actions, and know that God will take them and multiply them, as Jesus multiplied the loaves and the fishes.

God bless!

[Laurentina1975]

Bringing forth my faith to ONE person is enough to make me say "it is/was worth it".

I think your points are valid and it is all part of discerning. Do you have a spiritual director?

[MC IMaGiNaZUN]

Some good advice was just posted...

But i do wish to add one thing.

Are you familiar with the vocation of Consecrated Virgin? It isnt a popular vocation nowadays in the church, but it is still, and will always be recognized as a calling.

What is consecrated virginity you ask? Well i hope some of the ladies in this phorum might help me elaborate on the topic.

But the way i understand it is this.

There are religious vocations. Some women are called to live in a religoius community, and consecrate their virginity to God. Men have a similar (NOT same) calling in religious life.

And there is a difference between a man called religious priesthood than there is to diocesan priesthood. There is no inherent aspect of the diocesan priesthood which necessarily includes community life. I know of many diocesan priests who live alone. I know of others who have their basic community just in the rectory. That is not the same as a religious community, and usually follows none of the dynamics of a religoius community. Diocesan priests have little or no obligation to one another, only in regard to their bishop. So they have a certain inherent freedom that religious communities do not. (the paradox i find in my own religious vocaiton is that i find more freedom in a community than in a diocese, but oh well i hope i am not confusing the point)

Consecrated Virgins are similar, in that they are free from a religious order, and are bound to their local bishop. They would, as part of the diocese, be connected and vowed in that diocese, and would have some sort of formal ceremonry involving the bishop, and are required to pray for and support the bishops ministry. Unless the virgin works directly for the diocese or a parish, she would not recieve any sort of finances from the church per se. If i am not mistaken there are some consecrated virgins who do have jobs, some in hospitals, or other social services, and that is their primary source of income.

But yeah, i really hope some others in the phorum could help me address, for Bernadette's sake, this vocation of consecrated virginity.

SHALOM

[LilyofSaintMaria]

Thank you!

[quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 26 2006, 11:09 AM']Bernadette.

First, I will keep you in my prayers.  God bless you for your discernment.

I am wondering if there are any good and holy priests near you that you could ask for spiritual direction.  That would be the best first recourse.

As for writing to communities. . . prayer is the best first step.  You have a lot of really wonderful thoughts. 

Not to push you in one direction or the other, but St Therese also wanted to evangelize the world.  She wound up in the cloister where she 'could do more good and be of better help praying' than actually being the missionary that she commented on!  Granted they had so few active orders then, but. . . . 

Have you thought of the different charisms of communities/orders?  There are Dominicans, Franciscans, Carmelites, Benedictines, etc. 
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I have also thought about this, St. Therese and all. I am open to whatever God has planned. I know I am always looking for time to pray, quiet times, and prayer is number one in helping others . . .
I have been looking through many orders, all different kinds. I am not exactly drawn to any one spirituality though. They all merge together, and all have so many wonderful aspects. I have not really looked into cloistered or strictly contemplative orders/communities, since I do not believe that is my call. You never know though. God knows. A little hint Jesus?

[quote name='stlmom' date='Mar 26 2006, 11:37 AM']Dear Bernadette,
At age 19, all of the questions you raise sound so.....normal!!!  Some folks just know that they are called very early, and some must learn by the trial and error method of life experiences as they begin to interact with the world beyond their families.  God doesn't necessarily make it easy for most of us.  Your first work or college experiences can help you learn more about yourself and  your  future vocation.  (Obviously, you have to avoid those influences that jeopardize your spiritual integrity as you try to determine your calling.)  Having trusted adult advice is priceless here too. 
Since you mentioned in another post that you live on a farm, I wondered what your experiences are outside of your home life.  Years ago, I grew up on a farm in PA, and by 19 I knew I needed to branch out beyond my immediate situation to find my calling.  At any rate, I sure can empathize with you;  you will find many friends and lots of food for thought here.

I know how how feel about wanting to do so much for God.  Let me share this thought with you from Dorothy Day:

One of the greatest evils of our day is the sense of futility.  People say,
"What can  one person do?  What is the sense of our small effort?"
They cannot see that we can only lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time;  we can be responsible only for the one action of the present moment.  But we can beg for an increase of love in our hearts that will vitalize and transform these actions, and know that God will take them and multiply them, as Jesus multiplied the loaves and the fishes.

God bless!
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[/quote]
My family, first of all, is very close, always has been. It's hard for me to break away. Just because it is hard though, I will do it of course for His sake. I take the state of life God has put me in though as a sign of my future vocation. Farming all my life makes it a true part of me, really. I love it - so much hard work, tears, worry - but I do love it. How can this be brought into my Vocation?
I try to keep that thought in mind always. It's totally true, but I see so much to be done is what makes me feel so small and helpless you know.


[quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Mar 26 2006, 12:20 PM']Bringing forth my faith to ONE person is enough to make me say "it is/was worth it". 

I think your points are valid and it is all part of discerning.  Do you have a spiritual director?
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You got that one right Lauren! No, no spiritual director. I'm not exactly able to have one, especially the traditional priest and confessor. However, if anyone knows a wonderful Sister that would be willing to converse with me over email, that would be wonderful. Many of the Vocation Directors I have contacted are just too busy to do something like that. How about any books? They say if a spiritual director is not available, a good spiritual book is the next best thing.

[quote name='MC IMaGiNaZUN' date='Mar 26 2006, 12:30 PM']Some good advice was just posted...

But i do wish to add one thing.

Are you familiar with the vocation of Consecrated Virgin?  It isnt a popular vocation nowadays in the church, but it is still, and will always be recognized as a calling.

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Although this may not be the same thing, but what is a Schonstatt Sister? I here of them from my friends. . . I get, their newsletter, but what are your opinions about them?


Bernadette

[magnificat]

[quote name='LilyofSaintMaria' date='Mar 27 2006, 07:48 AM']You got that one right Lauren! No, no spiritual director. I'm not exactly able to have one, especially the traditional priest and confessor. However, if anyone knows a wonderful Sister that would be willing to converse with me over email, that would be wonderful. Many of the Vocation Directors I have contacted are just too busy to do something like that. How about any books? They say if a spiritual director is not available, a good spiritual book is the next best thing.
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Is there at least a parish priest that you would be comfortable talking to every now and then, even if he doesn't have the time to do formal direction? Sometimes it can be helpful in the absence of a formal spiritual director.

In terms of vocation directors/sisters to email, I'd recommend starting with any communities you're interested in. Off the top of my head, I can't remember where you're from, but I know that the Apostles of the Interior Life have a primary apostolate of helping young women & men discern. [url="http://www.apostlesofil.org/AilIndex.htm"]Here's[/url] their webpage. They are excellent, holy women. Obviously over email is not ideal, but you can see if they can at least offer you some other resources.

Perhaps, also, you can get up 20 or 30 min earlier in the morning and use that time as a prayer/meditation period before most of the rest of your family gets up and it gets noisy. I think the important thing with the competition between marriage vs. religious life is to offer it up to Jesus and ask for the grace, first of all, to be interiorly indifferent, that is, so that you are at the point where either is 100% okay. I think after you reach that peace, it becomes easier to hear God's call to a specific vocation because you're not as attached to it personally.

Again, I'd encourage you to email/phone communities that you're interested in to get a relationship going with them.

[HisChild]

Bernadette,

For books, when I started discerning with the PCPA in AZ, it was suggested that I read the book: Christian Totality. Here is the information regarding the book:
[quote]Christian Totality: Theology of the Consecrated Life

by Revs. Basil Cole, Fr. P. Conner

Looking for a comprehensive and scholarly treatise on the consecrated life? Look no further! After highlighting the dignity of lay Christian life and its mission to transform the world, it contrasts the lay and consecrated vocations and explores the splendid love and mystery of the consecrated life from the scriptural, historical, conciliar and theological perspectives. This 367-page book incorporates the 1996 papal exhortation Vita Consecrata.

This work is a stimulating introduction for beginners and a heartening re-exploration for those who have been struggling for years to fulfill their consecration to Christ.
[/quote]
[url="http://religiouslife.com/catalog/details.php?id_catalog=b173"]http://religiouslife.com/catalog/details.php?id_catalog=b173[/url]

There is also another book, if you feel drawn to the religious life, that really was a fabulous read. It is called Come And Follow Me by Fr Stefano Manelli. Here is the synopsis:
[quote]An excellent book on vocations. St. John Bosco held that, “A third of our young people carry the seed of a priestly and religious vocation.” If this is true then, why are there not more vocations? The author answers many questions of men and women aspiring to the priestly or religious life by quoting extensively from Scripture and the words and example of the saints and popes — an invaluable book for promoting a better understanding and appreciation of vocations to the consecrated life.[/quote]
[url="http://marymediatrix.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=AIB&Product_Code=AIB-CF013&Category_Code=FS"]http://marymediatrix.com/Merchant2/merchan...ategory_Code=FS[/url]

Those are two books, to begin with. . .

You mention farming. There are 3 communities which are contemplative, and I believe, cloistered, although they do go into town when needed. I know you mentioned not feeling called to the cloistered life, but they are both into farming. They are all Benedictine. The first is in Colorado: [url="http://www.walburga.org/index.html"]http://www.walburga.org/index.html[/url]

The second is in Connecticut: [url="http://www.abbeyofreginalaudis.com/sitelive/index.htm"]http://www.abbeyofreginalaudis.com/sitelive/index.htm[/url]

The third is in Washington, which is a foundation from those sisters in CT: [url="http://www.rockisland.com/~mhildegard/"]http://www.rockisland.com/~mhildegard/[/url] These sisters raise cattle, llamas.

There are also Poor Clare nuns who raise miniature horses. Here is their contact information: St. Clares Monastery
9300 Hwy 105
Brenham, TX 77833-9021
Phone: (409) 836-2444 or (409) 836-9652
Fax: (409) 836-9652

Those are the only 4 that come to mind. Usually, but not always, if farming is an apostolate, it's because they keep close to home, so to speak, and those sisters will be contemplative.

I'm not too positive about Consecrated Virgins. Many dioceses don't have all that much experience with them. I knew of a woman who was trying to become one. I met her on one of my visits. The vocation director in her diocese had to speak with someone in another, because they'd never had a consecrated virgin in their diocese before.

From the Catechism we find:
[quote]Consecrated virgins and widows

922 From apostolic times Christian virgins461 and widows,462 called by the Lord to cling only to him with greater freedom of heart, body, and spirit, have decided with the Church's approval to live in the respective status of virginity or perpetual chastity "for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven."463

923 "Virgins who, committed to the holy plan of following Christ more closely, are consecrated to God by the diocesan bishop according to the approved liturgical rite, are betrothed mystically to Christ, the Son of God, and are dedicated to the service of the Church."464 By this solemn rite (Consecratio virginum), the virgin is "constituted . . . a sacred person, a transcendent sign of the Church's love for Christ, and an eschatological image of this heavenly Bride of Christ and of the life to come."465

924 "As with other forms of consecrated life," the order of virgins establishes the woman living in the world (or the nun) in prayer, penance, service of her brethren, and apostolic activity, according to the state of life and spiritual gifts given to her.466 Consecrated virgins can form themselves into associations to observe their commitment more faithfully.467
[/quote]

And of course, Vita Consecrata states:
[quote]7. It is a source of joy and hope to witness in our time a new flowering of the ancient Order of Virgins, known in Christian communities ever since apostolic times.Consecrated by the diocesan Bishop, these women acquire a particular link with the Church, which they are commited to serve while remaining in the world. Either alone or in association with others, they constitute a special eschatological image of the Heavenly Bride and of the life to come, when the Church will at last fully live her love for Christ the Bridegroom.
[/quote]

That is all I really 'know' about the life of a consecrated virgin. She is in the world, but not of it. She can live alone or in community. She makes vows to her diocesan bishop and works in the service of the Church.

We are all called to live a life of holiness. Holiness is not for 'those people' who enter religious life, as many have believed in the past, and truly, some still believe today. We are all called, no matter what, to be holy. It is just for you, now, to pray, to speak to someone good and holy, perhaps your parish priest, to discern just how you will best live out that call. Is He asking you to consecrate yourself in religious life, as a consecrated virgin, as a married woman? He will show you, in time. You mentioned in your post for Jesus to give you a hint. Perhaps, right now, He is just asking you to read a little about holiness/spiritual life, perhaps even a book on religious life, to see if that resonates within you, and to, in general, improve or deepen your relationship with Him right now. Then, perhaps while doing that, He will make it clear how He wants you to live for Him. I don't know what your prayer life is, etc., so these are just general suggestions.

I pray this helps even a little.

God bless you on your journey.

[LilyofSaintMaria]

Thank you again! Inspiring . . .

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 27 2006, 08:14 AM']Is there at least a parish priest that you would be comfortable talking to every now and then, even if he doesn't have the time to do formal direction?  Sometimes it can be helpful in the absence of a formal spiritual director.

In terms of vocation directors/sisters to email, I'd recommend starting with any communities you're interested in.  Off the top of my head, I can't remember where you're from, but I know that the Apostles of the Interior Life have a primary apostolate of helping young women & men discern.  [url="http://www.apostlesofil.org/AilIndex.htm"]Here's[/url] their webpage.  They are excellent, holy women.  Obviously over email is not ideal, but you can see if they can at least offer you some other resources. 

Perhaps, also, you can get up 20 or 30 min earlier in the morning and use that time as a prayer/meditation period before most of the rest of your family gets up and it gets noisy.  I think the important thing with the competition between marriage vs. religious life is to offer it up to Jesus and ask for the grace, first of all, to be interiorly indifferent, that is, so that you are at the point where either is 100% okay.  I think after you reach that peace, it becomes easier to hear God's call to a specific vocation because you're not as attached to it personally.

Again, I'd encourage you to email/phone communities that you're interested in to get a relationship going with them.
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[/quote]



[quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Mar 27 2006, 09:11 AM']Bernadette,

For books, when I started discerning with the PCPA in AZ, it was suggested that I read the book:  Christian Totality.  Here is the information regarding the book:

[url="http://religiouslife.com/catalog/details.php?id_catalog=b173"]http://religiouslife.com/catalog/details.php?id_catalog=b173[/url]

There is also another book, if you feel drawn to the religious life, that really was a fabulous read.  It is called Come And Follow Me by Fr Stefano Manelli.  Here is the synopsis:

[url="http://marymediatrix.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=AIB&Product_Code=AIB-CF013&Category_Code=FS"]http://marymediatrix.com/Merchant2/merchan...ategory_Code=FS[/url]

Those are two books, to begin with. . .

You mention farming. There are 3 communities which are contemplative, and I believe, cloistered, although they do go into town when needed.  I know you mentioned not feeling called to the cloistered life, but they are both into farming.  They are all Benedictine. The first is in Colorado:  [url="http://www.walburga.org/index.html"]http://www.walburga.org/index.html[/url]

The second is in Connecticut:  [url="http://www.abbeyofreginalaudis.com/sitelive/index.htm"]http://www.abbeyofreginalaudis.com/sitelive/index.htm[/url]

The third is in Washington, which is a foundation from those sisters in CT:  [url="http://www.rockisland.com/~mhildegard/"]http://www.rockisland.com/~mhildegard/[/url]  These sisters raise cattle, llamas.

There are also Poor Clare nuns who raise miniature horses.  Here is their contact information:  St. Clares Monastery
9300 Hwy 105
Brenham, TX 77833-9021
Phone: (409) 836-2444 or (409) 836-9652
Fax: (409) 836-9652

Those are the only 4 that come to mind.  Usually, but not always, if farming is an apostolate, it's because they keep close to home, so to speak, and those sisters will be contemplative.

I'm not too positive about Consecrated Virgins.  Many dioceses don't have all that much experience with them.  I knew of a woman who was trying to become one.  I met her on one of my visits. The vocation director in her diocese had to speak with someone in another, because they'd never had a consecrated virgin in their diocese before.

From the Catechism we find:
And of course, Vita Consecrata states:
That is all I really 'know' about the life of a consecrated virgin.  She is in the world, but not of it.  She can live alone or in community.  She makes vows to her diocesan bishop and works in the service of the Church.

We are all called to live a life of holiness. Holiness is not for 'those people' who enter religious life, as many have believed in the past, and truly, some still believe today.  We are all called, no matter what, to be holy.  It is just for you, now, to pray, to speak to someone good and holy, perhaps your parish priest, to discern just how you will best live out that call.  Is He asking you to consecrate yourself in religious life, as a consecrated virgin, as a married woman?  He will show you, in time.  You mentioned in your post for Jesus to give you a hint.  Perhaps, right now, He is just asking you to read a little about holiness/spiritual life, perhaps even a book on religious life, to see if that resonates within you, and to, in general, improve or deepen your relationship with Him right now.  Then, perhaps while doing that, He will make it clear how He wants you to live for Him.  I don't know what your prayer life is, etc., so these are just general suggestions.

I pray this helps even a little. 

God bless you on your journey.
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I will start looking into contemplative communities instead of just active like I have been doing. You made me decide.
I am not sure if I am good for spiritual direction person to person. I will start up again with Vocation Directresses - I was doing that, but then I got so busy.
Thank you for the book suggestions. I read the Manelli one, but I will have to look into the Christian Totality one.
Getting up early is a good idea, but my family works differently than that. I want to get up earlier or at least go to bed later, but we have rules. We'll see. . . Maybe I'll push myself and get up, but stay in bed. I've been wanting to do that . . . but I always fall asleep.
My spiritual reading and prayer life is kind of full, I just need to perfect it really and to remember everything in my prayer schedule.
I guess you could say, my main problem is finding the time to actually discern. If I had that, then I would probably be much closer to giving myself to Jesus in whatever he has planned for me. Right now, though, I tell myself over and over that my vocation has begun now. My state in life, now, is my vocation. I must live it out to the best of my ability and God's grace working through me. So please pray for me - pray, pray, pray.
Any other little pointers to give - I am ready for them. Thank you again girls!

Bernadette

Edited March 28, 2006 by LilyofSaintMaria

[magnificat]

[quote name='LilyofSaintMaria' date='Mar 28 2006, 07:53 AM']Getting up early is a good idea, but my family works differently than that. I want to get up earlier or at least go to bed later, but we have rules. We'll see. . . Maybe I'll push myself and get up, but stay in bed.

I guess you could say, my main problem is finding the time to actually discern. If I had that, then I would probably be much closer to giving myself to Jesus in whatever he has planned for me. Right now, though, I tell myself over and over that my vocation has begun now. My state in life, now, is my vocation.
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Hmm...not sure I totally understand the not being able to get up earlier, but maybe you can sit next to your bed and pray there so that you're not as tempted to fall back asleep??
Have you talked to your parents at all about discerning? Perhaps if you have & they're supportive, you can see if they might be a little accomodating to give you some alone/silent time without disrupting the family schedule too much. It seems a little concerning to me that you're having a hard time finding time to discern. Is it because you're busy with chores, etc?
I think you're right in saying that your state in life is your vocation now (to be a good daughter, sister, etc.), but at the same time there is also a need at some point to discern your particular vocation, apart from your familial obligations, etc. In other words, even if God is calling you to be married & raise a family, it still is a vocation that you personally have to say yes to...not your parents or friends, etc. And it seems like that the desire to find out is being stirred in you so I would continue to listen and ask that Jesus continue to reveal the Father's will for you more clearly. And remember to trust that God's more than willing and ready and excited to reveal His plan to you when the time is right.
Oh and another book recommendation for discnerning is "Finding God's Will for You" by St. Francis de Sales. I also love "Letters to a Young Catholic" by George Wiegel.
Hope this helps a little. Peace & prayers!

[jgirl]

[quote name='magnificat' date='Mar 28 2006, 07:07 AM'] I also love "Letters to a Young Catholic" by George Wiegel.
Hope this helps a little.  Peace & prayers!
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I recommend this book. The way that George Weigel described Mary's Fiat is what got me from being a perpetual discerner and actually make a decision and take concrete steps in preparing myself to enter religious life. The whole book is wonderful.

[shortnun]

Hi Bernadette! I don't think I've welcomed you yet. If I may suggest a little tidbit with regard to your discernment journey it would be about spiritual directors. You made a comment to the effect that "I'm not sure if I am good for spiritual direction person to person." If you feel comfortable, could you elaborate?

Having a spiritual director whom you meet with face to face helps hold you accountable to the larger Christian community as you discern. It takes you one (helpful!) step beyond just you and God. And to have a spiritual director who isn't a VD may also serve to help you as he/she can get to know you and your particular situation in life a little bit deeper. (This is by no means meant to belittle VDs as SDs--we must recognize how the Holy Spirit uses other people in our lives to speak to us, and never turn away from His voice.)

Prayers for God's abundant blessings to you on your journey!

[HisChild]

A spiritual director would also be a really good idea simply because they are not connected to a particular community and won't be, intentional or otherwise, biased.

Why are you unable to get up early, if you don't mind my asking?

God bless you Bernadette!

[LilyofSaintMaria]

Well, I just put the Letters to a Young Catholic on hold at the library.
Ummm . . . well, my Papa get's up very early saying that he likes to have some alone time. I hate to disturb him. Also, although our house is so big, we all sleep in practically the same room so if I get up, everyone gets up. So its hard here. But, I should do something, and just trying to stay awake in bed might be the best for now. All I can say is we'll see. . .
Spiritual Direction has been on my mind ever since I read Light and Peace years ago. I asked Sister Joseph Andrew of the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist and she told me to wait on it. I asked her last year sometime. So I have been. Now, I am wondering about it again since you girls seem so for it. We'll see about this, too.
About finding time. Well, we have a farm, so that can answer a lot of it. Also, school. And one more thing which is slowing up because we are almost done with it for the season is the magazine my sister and I publish. It is a magazine for Catholic girls ages ten through teen called Saint Maria's Messenger. We started it in 2002 and have been doing it since, so this takes up a lot of time since we do most of the writing and print it up ourselves. But I am really not complaining. I will try my best to find time, but also I will make everything I do a gift for God. I will break a way from work to pray, discern, read. . . And I will trust in God that he will show me his will. I know he isn't hiding it for me. I just need to abandon myself to him and the light that I need to find the treasure will be given to me. Help me to trust in him and not get impatient while searching out my vocation. I am so anxious on finding it, so on fire much of the time.
Well, I must go. But thank you again everyone. :
Bernadette

[Guest phatdaddy]

Bernadette,

(I love that name)

I was so impressed and edified reading your vocation journey and I just wanted to tell you so. God bless you future sister I will add your vocation to my prayer list.

Please pray for me also.

Bye now, and God love you.

Mr. Ray

[passionheart]

Welcome Bernadette,

I hope we all can help with your discernment. Now if you are interested in any of those books that was mentioned in this thread I can send you
"Come And Follow Me" by Fr Stefano Manelli.

Just PM with details. You can keep it!!

Donna-Marie

[LilyofSaintMaria]

Thank you! That seems to be two constant words with me. But I mean it.
Please do keep me in your prayers Mr. Ray! I do have Come and Follow Me book, but I lent it to a friend and she has yet to return it. That was last year. So, it's up to you. Thank you for thinking of me! This brings up a topic I've wanted to start. About spiritual books. I'll post it right after this one.
I wanted to say that I was talking about this conversation on here with my step-mom, Annemarie. She wants me to start looking into the contemplative orders, too. Also, I asked about the spiritual director and it'll be almost impossible 1:1 with a priest. We have one priest here that runs both parishes. He is awfully busy as you can guess, which crosses him out on my list. So, VD may be the best for now. She told me about Fr. Dominic (the vocation director of the EWTN friars) said that a faithful and good Vocation director would not be biased for he would not want someone who was not right for the order to enter. That makes a lot of sense to me. Talking over the phone would be the next best thing to a SD, so I'll do that with VDs or whoever, as Annemarie suggested, also spiritual books. One more thing that I am hoping may work out well that we talked about is First Friday Adoration. That would be very nice. Can't do it during the farm season, but still it'll be very nice.
I do agree with her that one of my largest stumbling blocks is the farm. I do love it so very much, and so much responsibilty I have. . . it makes it so difficult with discerning. Also, I think I may have looked into too many orders! It's like an overload on the brain. So I'll look at the ones I have, look into some contemplative ones, and make a list of the ones that I feel most drawn to and narrow it down from there. That should help matters some. Thank you again everyone. God bless you all and Mary keep you!

Bernadette

[magnificat]

I'm glad you were able to talk to your stepmom about it so that she, at least, is cognizant of your needs/concerns and she sounds like she's trying to be helpful.

I can understand your problems with finding a parish priest out in a rural area. One of my best priest friends received his new assignment as pastor of 3 parishes and 2 stational churches PLUS the chairman on the Archdio's Committee on Continuing Priestly Formation...oh and this is his 3 year as a priest! Talk about busy! (Prayers for him would be much needed to!)

But if you could even just mention to him that you're discerning and sit down and chat with him just once, it might be helpful for you. I think that often priests hear of retreats/opportunities, etc before we do and if he knows you're discerning, he may keep an ear out for such things....if nothing else, I know he'll pray for you!! And it's also just helpful to have the conversation open so that, in the future, if something comes up and you need someone who's physically closer to you, the doors will already be open.

I agree with what your stepmom said about a good VD really just being open to discerning with you. Honestly, it doesn't do you or them much good to "convince you" of what your vocation is.

If you have too much info on orders, I'd put all the material away in a file somewhere and start praying & reflecting on who you are and what type of religious life attracts you. Perhaps there's a specific charism you know is who you are or perhaps a type of prayer life, etc. Once you have a clear idea of the way God works in you, it'll be easier to find communities where you can plug into and not run the risk of trying to fit yourself to the community.

Peace & prayers

[be_thou_my_vision]

[quote name='LilyofSaintMaria' date='Mar 30 2006, 06:49 AM']Thank you! That seems to be two constant words with me. But I mean it.
Please do keep me in your prayers Mr. Ray!  I do have Come and Follow Me book, but I lent it to a friend and she has yet to return it. That was last year. So, it's up to you. Thank you for thinking of me! This brings up a topic I've wanted to start. About spiritual books. I'll post it right after this one.
I wanted to say that I was talking about this conversation on here with my step-mom, Annemarie. She wants me to start looking into the contemplative orders, too. Also, I asked about the spiritual director and it'll be almost impossible 1:1 with a priest. We have one priest here that runs both parishes. He is awfully busy as you can guess, which crosses him out on my list. So, VD may be the best for now. She told me about Fr. Dominic (the vocation director of the EWTN friars) said that a faithful and good Vocation director would not be biased for he would not want someone who was not right for the order to enter. That makes a lot of sense to me. Talking over the phone would be the next best thing to a SD, so I'll do that with VDs or whoever, as Annemarie suggested, also spiritual books. One more thing that I am hoping may work out well that we talked about is First Friday Adoration. That would be very nice. Can't do it during the farm season, but still it'll be very nice.
I do agree with her that one of my largest stumbling blocks is the farm. I do love it so very much, and so much responsibilty I have. . . it makes it so difficult with discerning. Also, I think I may have looked into too many orders! It's like an overload on the brain. So I'll look at the ones I have, look into some contemplative ones, and make a list of the ones that I feel most drawn to and narrow it down from there. That should help matters some. Thank you again everyone. God bless you all and Mary keep you!

Bernadette
[right][snapback]928188[/snapback][/right]
[/quote]
Hey Bernadette,
Something that may help to to narrow down is to find what spirituality you like best... Carmelite (like me!), Franciscan, Dominican, ect. There are a lot of books about these spiritualities. It helps a lot... good luck on your search!

[HisChild]

Bernadette,

The one thing that caught my eye when reading your post is that what you wrote resonated with something a wise nun told me about 13 yrs ago! I too had written to over 2 dozen communuties and had plans to visit about a dozen of them. Her words were 'if you chase too many rabbits, you'll catch none!'

And often the stress of so many choices will prevent one from making any decision at all because we're too worried that the 'best' choice will be the one that we haven't contemplated yet. We'll enter a place and then wonder, when any little trial comes, if we made the wrong decision, if there's something better out there!

Your situation is as mine was those many years ago. You believe you want to give yourself to our Lord, but are not sure if religious life is it. And thus, you aren't sure if you are called to active or contemplative, which spirituality, etc. . . .so you start looking at all of them! LOL And there are so many good orders out there! Sometimes choosing a spirituality helps, because this helps to narrow down, but sometimes you find a community that enmeshes more than one spirit, ie: SSEW, or how the PCPA studies so much OCD saints/spirituality in formation, etc.

Since you've mentioned in the past that you aren't too sure about spiritualities and their differences. . .I would then look at your prayer life and discern what's important to you. Do you want Adoration as a primary apostolate, or is not important to you, or you'd like to have Adoration but it doesn't have to be perpetual? There are many communities who have Perpetual Adoration, some who have Holy Hours each day, once a week, some who have it rarely. Is it important to pray the Rosary in common? Is it important to pray the full Divine Office each day? Is silence important (and I don't mean a vow of silence, but then, that is an option if you are called to that)? Do you feel called to be cloistered, with prayer being the 'main thing' and having a small apostolate that supports the sisters, or do you need to be out and having a more active apostolate (do you feel called to be the Mary, or the Martha?)

I think that's a good place to start. I know you mentioned first that you would love to do this, and you would love to do that but you would love to be an apostle of prayer. . .but I would really pray and see what 'work' the Lord would have you do, what prayer He wills would give Him the most glory from you. See if something, some aspect of any of that material you've read keeps popping back up at you. . .a particular apostolate, a particular part of prayer life, etc. Then, I would focus on that.

I will pray for you during your discernment. It can be a difficult decision. We don't have our Lord calling us up to a mountain to speak with us, That's usually not an everyday occurrence, but it would be nice! But I also believe that with our desire to do His will, as we continue down a path we think He is leading us. . .if that's not the right path, He'll close a door, or somehow steer us differently. He is good and faithful.

God bless you. You are pleasing Him immensely.