Your Advice is Needed

[the_rev]

My sisters and brothers in Christ,

I normally don't send emails to everyone in my contact book, and some way or another you all ended up in my contact book, so thus I seek all of your prayers for me. As some of you know the Bishop would like me to study in the College Seminary. In October I will begin the college seminary paperwork with the diocese. One of the requirements is that the parish priest of where you belong needs to write a letter of recommendation.

My current pastor has not been supportative of my decision to enter the college seminary, and he does not agree with College Seminary program. He is a priest that some say is not happy with his vocation. During Holy Week, I was able to spend it in it's entirity at the Cathedral with His Excellency. Each day I served at the Cathedral parish. Following the serving at the Cathedral each day I went to the rectory to converse with fellow seminarians. Through out this time I was able to get to know Jim. He is a former lawyer, cappuchin, and clareition missionary but now is a seminarian for the diocese. We are now good friends and we do a lot together. We were recently talking about my parish priest and his opinion against what I want to do, and that he isn't very supportive. He encouraged me to find out if he would write my letter of recommendation. However I am so involved in my current parish, I serve daily mass, which I would continue to do, during the weekend I serve 7:30 mass on the first, third and fifth sunday, and am the reader of the first and second reading on the fourth sunday at 10:00 I could see dropping the serving at the parish and pick up serving at the new parish. Basically I don't know what to do.

Last night I was able to engage in conversation with him, and he told me that he didn't know if he would write a letter, beside the fact as my pastor he is obligated to do so. He told me if he did that he would write about my good points, and my bad points, and also would reflect on his opinion and how he has discouraged me from entering the college seminary. All this would be in his letter "recommending" me. I told Jim of this, and he told me that this man is hindering my vocation, and may prevent it in general. I am now faced with a major decision in my spiritual life.

I am on the verge of seeking a spiritual director in that of Monsignor ______, who is a very holy priest. In addition, I am discerning if I should leave my parish and join his parish in Green Bay, meaning I would travel nearly thirty miles for mass each weekend. The Monsignor and I will be getting together for breakfast some time, to get to know each other and such; I will tell him my vocation story, my situation, and what he thinks I should do. I will do what is in my best interest. I basically have to do what I have to do to ensure my studies for the diocese.

My dear sisters and brothers in Christ, I ask you to help me in making my decision by offering your opinion but most of all to keep me in your prayers. For we are assured in scripture that nothing is impossible for God. Please pray that I will continue to discern this part in my life and that I will do what is of God's will. Pleae pray for me my friends. And if there is anything I can take to prayer for you, I will, just let me know.

Knowing that Christ has risen, I am

Yours in Christ,

Eddy lee

[the_rev]

Bump for more replies!

Edited April 19, 2006 by the_rev

[homeschoolmom]

Well, first of all the site was down last night getting worked on by dust so....

Next, a question: Do you want opinions or support?

[the_rev]

Both....

Your opinions and your prayers.

[jasJis]

I doubt you want opinions that side with your Pastor, but I'll give you mine. That's the situation you face when you post in an open forum and ask for opinions.
Take the letter he will write for you. Read it. Pray on it. And then submit it. You're only 16. It's not a deal breaker for your entire life. You may be surprised how you can constructively react to what negatives he may write. You may be surprised that he feels you only need to mature a bit.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='the_rev' post='952983' date='Apr 18 2006, 08:24 PM']
Last night I was able to engage in conversation with him, and he told me that he didn't know if he would write a letter, [b]beside the fact as my pastor he is obligated to do so[/b]. He told me if he did that he would write about my good points, and my bad points, and also would reflect on his opinion and how he has discouraged me from entering the college seminary. [b]All this would be in his letter "recommending" me[/b]. I told Jim of this, and he told me that this man is hindering my vocation, and may prevent it in general. I am now faced with a major decision in my spiritual life.
[/quote]

So, let me see, he's obligated as your pastor to write you a letter. But he is also not allowed to express his true opinion, both good and bad? So a manditory glowing recommendation? Of what value to the diocese is that?

I think Jas is right. Accept the recommendation as written. Pray about your weaknesses.

[frjeff]

-i think this is a topic of conversation for you and the vocations director. maybe your vocations director can speak to the pastor and hopefully convince him that he can have his opinion, but in reality it is the Bishop's decision that matters. and also hopefully encourage your pastor that he can have his opinion, but it is not fair to use your desire to enter college seminary as means to air it.
-if your vocations director knows this information he can address it in his letter to the seminary, so that it is seen in its proper light.
-ultimately though the seminary is going to weigh the Bishop's decision far more. the Bishop is the one sponsoring you and paying the bills.
-hang in there; this will only make you more Grace filled!

[the_rev]

Well as per usual, I find that Phatmassto be of no help.

I'd love him to write on my good and bad. But the thing is he is also going to write about how he feels that I should not enter college seminary, because he feels it doesn't provide propper formation for seminarians.

He is a priest that isn't happy with his priesthood, he supports women ordinations, doesn't wear the clerical collar, and holds many beliefs not in line with what the Magisterium teaches.

After a fifteen minute conversation with him, I have made a decision to swich parishes. He is a priest that is hindering my vocation. He doesn't listen to what I have to say, and honestly he told me today that he doesn't like me at all. How can I let my future as a seminarian be decided by a man like that. I can't, and I won't. Plain and simple.

Sincerely Yours in Christ,

Eddy Lee

And if JasJis is an ex-catholic, why should I be taking advice from him?

[homeschoolmom]

Your future is not decided by one letter...

and why should you take that advice? Because in spite of Jas' situation re the Catholic Church, it's still sound advice.

[jpamericanka]

I admire you so much for wanting to be a priest. I say that if you truly know that God is calling you to the priesthood, than you need to be in a parish which will best build you up for your future vocation and best support you. If the priest at your Church is hindering you from a deeper relationship with God by not supporting the vocation God has called you to, than yah...GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE.
On the other hand, this will help you discern if you truly are meant to be a priest. If your future plans stand this test, than you know its meant to be. If the bishop sees through both the good and bad by this letter and still ordains you, it is surely a good sign you are called to be a priest. My prayers are with you.

May the Blessed Mother watch over this situation for you.

In Christ,
Jenn

[Theoketos]

[quote name='the_rev' post='954278' date='Apr 19 2006, 04:22 PM']
Well as per usual, I find that Phatmassto be of no help.

I'd love him to write on my good and bad. But the thing is he is also going to write about how he feels that I should not enter college seminary, because he feels it doesn't provide propper formation for seminarians.

He is a priest that isn't happy with his priesthood, he supports women ordinations, doesn't wear the clerical collar, and holds many beliefs not in line with what the Magisterium teaches.

After a fifteen minute conversation with him, I have made a decision to swich parishes. He is a priest that is hindering my vocation. He doesn't listen to what I have to say, and honestly he told me today that he doesn't like me at all. How can I let my future as a seminarian be decided by a man like that. I can't, and I won't. Plain and simple.

Sincerely Yours in Christ,

Eddy Lee
[/quote]


I think you should submit the letter

John 3:19-20 [b] For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.[/b]

[Domine ut Videam]

I think that you should seriously pray for your pastor. Then talk to the vocations director of your diocese and see what he says. In this situation i would rely on those older and wiser than I who had been in this situation before. I am kind of in this situation myself-- well kind of, only i am a 16 year old girl discerning a vocation to the religious life and whether or not i should enter out of HS or not. I to am struggling with this decision, because of all of the conflicting advice i have been given. I advise you to talk to your spiritual director and do as he says- if you do not have a spiritual director i advise you to get one. It is key in the discernment process. Rely on the wisdom of your spiritual director. God has placed that person in your life for a reason and they have many words of wisdom to give you. Listen. Pray. And Pray some more. But listen to those who have been where you have, they are wiser than we are. I'll be praying for your vocation.

-Yours in Christ
Lauren

[Charms717RM1]

[quote name='Domine ut Videam' post='954327' date='Apr 19 2006, 05:24 PM']
I think that you should seriously pray for your pastor. Then talk to the vocations director of your diocese and see what he says. In this situation i would rely on those older and wiser than I who had been in this situation before. I am kind of in this situation myself-- well kind of, only i am a 16 year old girl discerning a vocation to the religious life and whether or not i should enter out of HS or not. I to am struggling with this decision, because of all of the conflicting advice i have been given. I advise you to talk to your spiritual director and do as he says- if you do not have a spiritual director i advise you to get one. It is key in the discernment process. Rely on the wisdom of your spiritual director. God has placed that person in your life for a reason and they have many words of wisdom to give you. Listen. Pray. And Pray some more. But listen to those who have been where you have, they are wiser than we are. I'll be praying for your vocation.

-Yours in Christ
Lauren
[/quote]

I second all that.

[OLAM Dad]

Did your pastor offer to help you overcome your 'weaknesses' or just to include them in your letter? If the former, work with him. If the latter, leave and find a priest who is wanting you to grow in holiness.

[jasJis]

Yeah. I'm an adult with a balanced and fair opinion. What would I know? And I wasn't surprised all the good advice that was given was considered as 'no help from phatmass'. You're immature and just wanted to hear what you want. Heaven forbid somebody tell you an uncomfortable truth. They're just beating you down, holding you back.

[Mateo el Feo]

[quote name='the_rev' post='954278' date='Apr 19 2006, 05:22 PM']
Well as per usual, I find that Phatmassto be of no help.

I'd love him to write on my good and bad. But the thing is he is also going to write about how he feels that I should not enter college seminary, because he feels it doesn't provide propper formation for seminarians.

He is a priest that isn't happy with his priesthood, he supports women ordinations, doesn't wear the clerical collar, and holds many beliefs not in line with what the Magisterium teaches.

After a fifteen minute conversation with him, I have made a decision to swich parishes. He is a priest that is hindering my vocation. He doesn't listen to what I have to say, and honestly he told me today that he doesn't like me at all. How can I let my future as a seminarian be decided by a man like that. I can't, and I won't. Plain and simple.

Sincerely Yours in Christ,

Eddy Lee

And if JasJis is an ex-catholic, why should I be taking advice from him?
[/quote]
I'm also in agreement with jasJis. If your priest is willing to write the letter, let him.

If your priest is going to include a critique of the seminary in his letter, then what would be the result? The letter will probably land in the hands of the dean of the seminary. At the very worst, the dean would see your priest as criticizing/attacking the seminary, not you as a potential seminarian. By the way, have you contacted the seminary?

Though your priest deserves no credit for his heterodox beliefs, God has decided to throw you a cross to carry. And I am sure that God is working to strengthen your faith by this challenge.

On the other hand, I don't think that "going over his head" would be absolutely wrong. For example, St. Terese went directly to the pope to petition that she could enter the convent.

I'm shocked that your priest has said, "I don't like you." Going back to St. Terese (I saw the movie!), didn't she always treat those who didn't like her with the most sincere charity? What a great gift she had.

I'll reiterate what others have said: if God has written a desire for the sacramental priesthood on your heart, neither this priest's letter nor anything else will keep you from serving Him. Just keep being faithful to Our Lord.

Finally, know that being 16 is a wonderful time of life, because the world is open to you. And you've got your head on well enough to plan for your lifelong vocation. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing I had my act together at that age.

[the_rev]

If I want to be treated like some people on Phatmass treat me, I would just schedule a meeting with my former pastor. I am not needed here.

If anyone wants to keep in contact visit my blog. I went with out this website for forty days. This site has gone in a bad direction.

Peace to all, pray for me, you all definitly are in my prayers.

Sincerely Yours in Christ,

Eddy lee

[Mateo el Feo]

[quote name='frjeff' post='953715' date='Apr 19 2006, 08:09 AM']
-i think this is a topic of conversation for you and the vocations director. maybe your vocations director can speak to the pastor and hopefully convince him that he can have his opinion, but in reality it is the Bishop's decision that matters. and also hopefully encourage your pastor that he can have his opinion, but it is not fair to use your desire to enter college seminary as means to air it.
-if your vocations director knows this information he can address it in his letter to the seminary, so that it is seen in its proper light.
-ultimately though the seminary is going to weigh the Bishop's decision far more. the Bishop is the one sponsoring you and paying the bills.
-hang in there; this will only make you more Grace filled!
[/quote]
Very good advice.

[the_rev]

None of you are here living in this parish that I call Hell. My pastor treats me like scum. Called me a loser, told me I have a no friends, (which is not true) and told me I have no vocation.

Get the facts, decide for yourself.

Sianara!

[Maria]

Eddie, what do you think you should do? You dislike the priest, and feel he's a hindrance: that much is clear. However, you're supposed to have a letter from your pastor, which he is. Furthermore, if he's against the seminary, they'll probably take that against him, not you. What do you expect, and what do you think would be the appropriate course of action?

Edited April 20, 2006 by Maria