lightofelendil Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 i know, i never disaggred with you. and i never said that your poll was good. maybe it was a bad idea, but my only point is that bonnies parants did not have to tell any one that but bonnie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 (edited) [quote name='BonnieLass' post='990373' date='May 25 2006, 11:48 AM'] Your comments are self-contradictory. Why seek advice where you have to close your mind; the vocation station is no less secure? I was not criticizing you, only urging you to have your parents read your posts to determine your use of this forum. It is not my place to say. I am not comfortable with the security features on this forum for ANY minor (that would include the young man who posted above). This forum is public; its Catholic label does not guarantee safety. I have never agreed with the concept of seeking advice on a public forum from a group of potential strangers, which are not guaranteed to steer you in the proper Catholic direction. You have parents, a spiritual advisor, godparents, local friends, and siblings with which to seek counsel; PM is not the place to do this. NO minor should ever have a private conversation with a any person, especially with an adult, that your parents do not know personally and well. I do not doubt that you are attempting to be responsible, I am no less a good parent than your own; yet, I found my responsible child to have made unsafe mistakes. I again urge you to have your parents read ALL your posts and PMs to make a determination for you. I am not accusing you of doing anything wrong; your parents must determine that. The wise thing to do is to let them make that decision. [/quote] I am sorry you must excuse my difficulty in getting my point across. My point is that while coming here seeking advice, there are real religous people in orders that come here. You may listen to ppls advice but don't use them as your ground and your basis. While you may take their advice into consideration, you shouldn't come here without having an idea as to what is right and what is not. Without already having a general idea as to who you can really take seriously. If you do have the right intentions and want to seek advice, you may come here to listen but never OBEY someone you don't know is my point. Speek to a spiritual director and family and friends about what they say here if you must but don't use PM as your primary source of advice. do you understand? I see where lightofelendil is coming from in the fact that it's fine for you to discipline your child but coming here and bashing these people you DON'T KNOW is not your place. It was alittle inproper but I still respect your concern. Please keep in mind that you don't know me, or my priorities, you don't know if I have a parent watching me or not (which I have already stated that I do) You don't know if I take my responsibilites seiorusly so please don't accuse me of ignorance and immaturity. I have admitted to it already but have also said to you that I am more aware so than what I use to be. Greg it's ok, thank you for apologizing but I'm not mad with you. God Bless you, In Christ, [mod]edited for personal information[/mod] Edited May 25, 2006 by Lil Red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BonnieLass Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 [quote name='lightofelendil' post='990376' date='May 25 2006, 10:50 AM'] I dont know if bonnie's parents will read this, but i felt like i had to say something. I am very offended by what you said in your posts. I'm sorry that you feel that way about this phorum. And it is your choice if you want your kids to get off this forum. But it is very rude and offensive for you to sit there and tell minors and their parents what they can and can not do. (even if you are just giving suggestions) You are insulting the children on this forums parants, from what i see telling them that they are not being good parants in letting thier children get on this website. Judge your own kids all you want, but dont judge other kids and their family. (at least puplicly) Aslo, I am very offended with the way you talked to my sister. You not only judged every one on this forum, you also judged my sister, me and my family. You accused her of not being responisble and mature, and suggested she should show her posts to her parants. I think you were very out of line to bash people on this forum. I am sorry you dont like us, but its rude to throw your opinion in our faces. I will be praying for you, God Bless, lightofelendil (if any one feels the same way i do, please tell me) [/quote] I apologize for my original tone, which was not angry but deep concern over the security of this forum. Insisting that higher safety features be put in place is not an accusation that anyone on here is a bad person, only that it will prevent the possibility of potentially dangerous situations occuring or Internet predators from having free access to minors (I am not saying anyone here is an Internet predator). I admire your parents a great deal and think you girls are very dear. I am sorry you feel the way you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 This is not LOE but as I said earlier, I appreciate your concern and I think you are correct in thinking they should put more security on here, but what else can they do? It's kind of up to the parents, and if the parents can't see what their children are doing then I pray for them. You do make a good point, but my sister did as well. God Bless y'all, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightofelendil Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Hello, I am sorry for my other post, I may have over reacted. I thought about it, and I know you are right. It just got me alittle upset at first. Again, I am sorry for talking disrespectfully. God Bless, LightofElendil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BonnieLass Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 [quote name='uruviel' post='990446' date='May 25 2006, 11:52 AM'] This is not LOE but as I said earlier, I appreciate your concern and I think you are correct in thinking they should put more security on here, but what else can they do? It's kind of up to the parents, and if the parents can't see what their children are doing then I pray for them. You do make a good point, but my sister did as well. God Bless y'all, [/quote] Kids can be in error, as well as parents. You are correct that it is the parent's choice but it is also the responsibility of those parents to ensure that the avenues allowed to their children are safe. I feel there has been a breach of safety on PhatMass. As a parent who has children on PhatMass, I have a right to note what I feel might be unsafe. I never accused anyone of malicious intent, only that certain safety factors are not in place to protect children and certain topics are not prudent. I am grateful that the mistakes happened innocently, but it does not lessen the danger. Unless parents watch a child 100% of the time they are online, children are open to danger - even with a parent's trust and a child's knowledge of dangerous situations. BonnieLass had that trust, parental monitoring, and a level of knowledge of Internet danger but she still made mistakes. She still has to grow and mature; learning never ends, not even for adults. Again, I apologize for any tone that was demeaning or rude; I did not intend to do this. What can be done? PM should not be allowed for minors in public forums. Private forums with parent approved posters can be formed. There is a lot that can be done to make PhatMass safer. HS, I do not know you. I do not have an opinion of you one way or the other except to say that you are very good to apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Any attempts to actually use the phorum as a "dating service" should be immediately reported to one of the regulators. It is not possible for us to control everything that goes on here, but if any member in any way shape or form makes this phorum unsafe for minors they will be immediately banned. Also, as soon as it comes to our attention that someone has used their real name, phone number, adress, et cetera we will delete it. to "BonnieLass"'s parent, that is about as much as we are able to do. if you still feel the phorum an unsafe place for your child, I suggest you change the password to her username and not tell her what it is (generally we do not delete user accounts, however) also, I am very concerned about the comment about a member PMing bonnie lass and wanting to come to her house. please PM me the details of that if it was something dangerous and perhaps that member can be dealt with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 it was a joke that should not have been made. it was never ment to be took seriously and should be closed or better yet deleted from the phatmass data base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 I won't delete it for now to let BonnieLass's parent time to respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BonnieLass Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 [quote name='lightofelendil' post='990461' date='May 25 2006, 12:34 PM'] Hello, I am sorry for my other post, I may have over reacted. I thought about it, and I know you are right. It just got me alittle upset at first. Again, I am sorry for talking disrespectfully. God Bless, LightofElendil. [/quote] That is alright. I know you girls are intelligent and will make good decisions with your parents; you have very good, loving, moral parents. I was likely being too motherly in posting here. Your defense of your sister, and Uruviel, of friends is to be admired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 [quote name='BonnieLass' post='990468' date='May 25 2006, 01:43 PM'] Kids can be in error, as well as parents. You are correct that it is the parent's choice but it is also the responsibility of those parents to ensure that the avenues allowed to their children are safe. I feel there has been a breach of safety on PhatMass. As a parent who has children on PhatMass, I have a right to note what I feel might be unsafe. I never accused anyone of malicious intent, only that certain safety factors are not in place to protect children and certain topics are not prudent. I am grateful that the mistakes happened innocently, but it does not lessen the danger. Unless parents watch a child 100% of the time they are online, children are open to danger - even with a parent's trust and a child's knowledge of dangerous situations. BonnieLass had that trust, parental monitoring, and a level of knowledge of Internet danger but she still made mistakes. She still has to grow and mature; learning never ends, not even for adults. Again, I apologize for any tone that was demeaning or rude; I did not intend to do this. What can be done? PM should not be allowed for minors in public forums. Private forums with parent approved posters can be formed. There is a lot that can be done to make PhatMass safer. HS, I do not know you. I do not have an opinion of you one way or the other except to say that you are very good to apologize. [/quote] Yes and I see Bonnie's mistake, I saw it when she made it but for us it was all a joke. I thought HS and Bonnie were kidding around. I see where it was unsafe, and I hope you don't think I was emplying that I know everything or that I have no more to learn. Of course I don't know everything and have SO much learning and growing to do this is true but I mean, they can't stop minors from coming, they can do no more than they have already. I wish parents luck with their children, but PM can't do anymore for their safety, the internet is a very dangerous place and shouldn't be used unless your aware of it. I also understand that everyone makes mistakes, but predetors are sometimes hard to spot for even the MODs and an online forum cannot be completely safe. As you are a parent I appreciate you warning all of us, now I see we all needed it, but if you would like something to be done to make it safer I believe in the rules it says to bring it up with the mods in private, anyways, I do also apoligize if I came across as rude or impatient. [quote name='Aloysius' post='990469' date='May 25 2006, 01:45 PM'] also, I am very concerned about the comment about a member PMing bonnie lass and wanting to come to her house. please PM me the details of that if it was something dangerous and perhaps that member can be dealt with. [/quote] In my view, when they were talking about it I was laughing, I thought it was a joke. I know that this should be taken seriously and I was ignorant but I took it as a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 if it's a joke, it's okay. I invite bonnielass's parent to share with the moderators the details of any PMs we can't see and what has gotten her so concerned. saying "haha you should come to this party blah blah, j/k j/k" is one thing saying "here's my address and/or full name" is quite another Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uruviel Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 (edited) [quote name='BonnieLass' post='990484' date='May 25 2006, 01:56 PM'] I was likely being too motherly in posting here. [/quote] No I have said that I appreciated it, you were saying the right thing it just caught us off guard alittle God Bless uruviel [quote name='Aloysius' post='990491' date='May 25 2006, 02:04 PM'] I invite bonnielass's parent to share with the moderators the details of any PMs we can't see and what has gotten her so concerned.[/quote] ok, that's good. [quote name='Aloysius' post='990491' date='May 25 2006, 02:04 PM'] saying "haha you should come to this party blah blah, j/k j/k" is one thing saying "here's my address and/or full name" is quite another [/quote] OH I really don't think Bonnie would have given any personal information out, I think we all know better than that, and the moderators would take it out, wouldn't they? I hope she didn't but I'm certain she wouldn't have given her address. Edited May 25, 2006 by uruviel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heavenseeker Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 this whole thing was a joke. i never ment anything wrong by it. Nor did I have any intent on going to anyones house that i only know from the internet thats just wrong on countless levels. If anything that i have said is reasoning for banning me I will be happy to accept it but i dont plan to post in here anymore except to say hi now and then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aloysius Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 well we didn't know what the content of the PMs were. heavenseeker, so long as there was no real planned contact/sharing of information, you are in the clear. we will be deleting this topic as per your request as soon as we're sure everything's been cleared up though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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