passerby Posted January 19, 2007 Posted January 19, 2007 Are you supposed to pay him? I know spiritual directors who aren't religious/priest are usually paid and the sisters who I know who do spiritual direction are also paid. Would this apply to a priest as well? Sorry if this is naive. Blessings, J
sr_betsy Posted January 19, 2007 Posted January 19, 2007 It all depends on the spiritual director. My director is a priest and he flat out refused to take anything. He says for me to pray for him as he prays for me. sr_betsy
magnificat Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Hmm...I've actually never heard of paying a spiritual director before...priests or non-priests.
VeniteAdoremus Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='magnificat' post='1170823' date='Jan 20 2007, 02:39 AM'] Hmm...I've actually never heard of paying a spiritual director before...priests or non-priests. [/quote] Me neither... I'm actually feeling quite guilty now and I'm wondering whether I should pay mine? I already planned on giving him a good cigar, since he loves those.
TeresaAvila Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 My spiritual director is my priest and I"ve never payed, except in prayers but I guess it would depend on the spiritual director.
Totus Tuus Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I have [i]never[/i] heard of paying a spiritual director, whether it's a priest or not. It seems that would be bad idea, because you are exchanging something monetary for something spiritual. It's not like paying for counseling sessions or a psychiatrist. Maybe there are people who pay theirs, but it seems prayers are probably the most worthy exchange Of course, people do pay stipends for having Masses offered, but I think that's a little different. If he's a parish priest you can contribute to the collection. If he's an Order priest you could make donations to the Order. But I don't know that it's appropriate to pay the priest himself. I could be wrong... maybe we could ask Cappie or Father Brian what they think
Theologian in Training Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1170867' date='Jan 19 2007, 09:34 PM'] I have [i]never[/i] heard of paying a spiritual director, whether it's a priest or not. It seems that would be bad idea, because you are exchanging something monetary for something spiritual. It's not like paying for counseling sessions or a psychiatrist. Maybe there are people who pay theirs, but it seems prayers are probably the most worthy exchange Of course, people do pay stipends for having Masses offered, but I think that's a little different. If he's a parish priest you can contribute to the collection. If he's an Order priest you could make donations to the Order. But I don't know that it's appropriate to pay the priest himself. I could be wrong... maybe we could ask Cappie or Father Brian what they think [/quote] I have never heard of such a thing. If that is the case, then I owe a lot of priest A LOT of moeny. Can I ask, did someone suggest this or was this something you thought might be a good idea? If you ever want to give anything to a priest, give him prayers. It is part of what he has been ordained to do, and you really should not feel obligated to have to pay him. That would be my approach on the whole thing, but, at the same time, I have never had a directee, so I would like to see what cappie thinks as well. God Bless Fr. Brian
passerby Posted January 20, 2007 Author Posted January 20, 2007 Okay, saying I "know" was a little misleading. My apologies. It was something that I had heard, second hand through someone. It might have just been an idea of theirs. Sorry for the confusion, it's been one of those weeks... Blessings, J
HisChild Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I had mentioned at my last session, the idea of giving him a book he really liked. And HE said, that he learned from a priest director friend of his, that paying or giving gifts to a SD crossed the line somehow, and blurred the roles. He said that he would only accept gifts at Christmas and on his birthday. . . But that's just what he said. . .others may feel differently. God bless you.
franciscanheart Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='magnificat' post='1170823' date='Jan 19 2007, 07:39 PM'] Hmm...I've actually never heard of paying a spiritual director before...priests or non-priests. [/quote] Neither have I. [quote name='Totus Tuus' post='1170867' date='Jan 19 2007, 08:34 PM'] I have [i]never[/i] heard of paying a spiritual director, whether it's a priest or not. It seems that would be bad idea, because you are exchanging something monetary for something spiritual. It's not like paying for counseling sessions or a psychiatrist. Maybe there are people who pay theirs, but it seems prayers are probably the most worthy exchange Of course, people do pay stipends for having Masses offered, but I think that's a little different. If he's a parish priest you can contribute to the collection. If he's an Order priest you could make donations to the Order. But I don't know that it's appropriate to pay the priest himself. I could be wrong... maybe we could ask Cappie or Father Brian what they think [/quote] Whew. That makes me feel better. [quote name='Theologian in Training' post='1170908' date='Jan 19 2007, 09:32 PM'] I have never heard of such a thing. If that is the case, then I owe a lot of priest A LOT of moeny. Can I ask, did someone suggest this or was this something you thought might be a good idea? If you ever want to give anything to a priest, give him prayers. It is part of what he has been ordained to do, and you really should not feel obligated to have to pay him. That would be my approach on the whole thing, but, at the same time, I have never had a directee, so I would like to see what cappie thinks as well. God Bless Fr. Brian [/quote] Okay... now I'm REALLY relieved. I thought I was doing something wrong by not paying mine!!
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I know that for the Charis Silent Retreats they have an optional donation for the spiritual directors that they put on the registration forms. So the idea wasn't totally new to me...
DiscerningSoul Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 I paid a former sister once but, didn't think I was getting anywhere with her. However my current one is a priest and I know he doesn't have alot of time most of the time I see him after mass. I have on a few occations given him Stop&Shop cards to buy food with. I love my SD and I pray for him always! Jessica [url="http://www.xanga.com/ADiscerningSoul"]http://www.xanga.com/ADiscerningSoul[/url] [url="http://blog.myspace.com/147329732"]http://blog.myspace.com/147329732[/url] PS: you can always buy a nice card of thanks, those are always worth more then money can buy. Prayers are also "Priceless"
Totus Tuus Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 (edited) I bet they would also like people to pay for Masses to be said for [i]them[/i] But maybe more as a gift than as payment for the spiritual direction Edited January 20, 2007 by Totus Tuus
Chiquitunga Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 For my old SD, who was a diocescan priest, my mother and I asked him about this, and he definitely wouldn't accept any pay. But what my mom decided to do is send a check to the "Cardinal's Appeal" (for Cardinal Francis George, whom we love), in thanksgiving for the spiritual direction. But yeah, with all the directors I've had, I've never paid them in anyway - only prayers. My mom just wanted to ask last time. But what Lauren said, about having Masses offered for them is a great idea!
EcceNovaFacioOmni Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 God pays them with treasure in heaven.
Birgitta Noel Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 Yes, I don't pay mine, but I often have masses offered for him in honor of his feast day, his ordination anniversary, etc. Mine also has taken a vow of poverty so I try to see that his needs are met when he goes on a rock/mountain climbing expedition/retreat (ie I get him batteries, bug spray, caribiners) or if he is in need of something to simplify his life and allow him to focus more on spiritual issues. For example once I got him a thumb drive on which to back up his book he was writing when he traveled. Otherwise I'll just be sure I make regular donations to the Community. BUT, as others have pointed out, NONE of that is expected. It's just how I choose to do things.
stuckinamo Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 priests (and nuns!) DO take the vows of castity,[b]poverty[/b] , and obedience! prayers, like everyone else has said, are probably the best!
Birgitta Noel Posted January 20, 2007 Posted January 20, 2007 [quote name='stuckinamo' post='1171486' date='Jan 20 2007, 05:49 PM'] priests (and nuns!) DO take the vows of castity,[b]poverty[/b] , and obedience! prayers, like everyone else has said, are probably the best! [/quote] Not ALL priests take vows of poverty and some, like diocesan priests, receive a salary (albeit a SMALL one). My SD is a member of a religious order so any $ he spends comes from the order and must be approved by the order. That's why I do what I do sometimes. Ultimately yes, prayers are the best.
shortnun Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 (edited) Because my school runs a certification in Spiritual Direction program, there are a fair number of spiritual directors in my area. Those who are still taking courses are not allowed to take money as part of their spiritual direction (it has to be a "guided direction" with the help of the director of the program). As a college student, I never paid my SD. Nor did the thought (like so many others have said) EVER cross my mind!!! The SD I have now is a diocesan priest. And I told him that as a grad student, I was unable to pay him a stipend on a regular basis. And that was fine with him. However, there are some [u]truly excellent[/u], spirit-filled, SDs out there who rely on this as a more direct source of income. For someone who has an official degree (some sort of external recognition of their knowledge/expertise), I can understand their asking for a contribution (of some sort) OR not asking for anything. Bottom line: I've heard of it, and no, it's not required by any means. Hope that's helpful. Edited January 21, 2007 by shortnun
Birgitta Noel Posted January 21, 2007 Posted January 21, 2007 [quote name='shortnun' post='1171741' date='Jan 20 2007, 09:15 PM'] Because my school runs a certification in Spiritual Direction program, there are a fair number of spiritual directors in my area. Those who are still taking courses are not allowed to take money as part of their spiritual direction (it has to be a "guided direction" with the help of the director of the program). As a college student, I never paid my SD. Nor did the thought (like so many others have said) EVER cross my mind!!! The SD I have now is a diocesan priest. And I told him that as a grad student, I was unable to pay him a stipend on a regular basis. And that was fine with him. However, there are some [u]truly excellent[/u], spirit-filled, SDs out there who rely on this as a more direct source of income. For someone who has an official degree (some sort of external recognition of their knowledge/expertise), I can understand their asking for a contribution (of some sort) OR not asking for anything. Bottom line: I've heard of it, and no, it's not required by any means. Hope that's helpful. [/quote] Excellent point, yes, many do do SD for a living! I'd imagine that if any sort of payment were expected that the SD would be clear about that up front. But if you have any doubts, just ask
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