Divorce For Unfaithfulness

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My brother has tried to hold together his marriage for years but his wife has continued to be unfaithful. She recently had one of her boyfriends over to the house while he was away, and his young son told him about it. He is now filing for divorce, but I am wondering if the Church would consider this situation suitable for an annulment? The child was adopted (due to the couple's infertility) so he would not be made illegitimate by this, but they have been married for many years. They were married within the Church.

He will not re-marry after the divorce, but it seems unfair to me that he should suffer for her unfaithfulness. Can he get an annulment and re-marry within the Church or not?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1206007' date='Feb 28 2007, 09:07 PM']My brother has tried to hold together his marriage for years but his wife has continued to be unfaithful. She recently had one of her boyfriends over to the house while he was away, and his young son told him about it. He is now filing for divorce, but I am wondering if the Church would consider this situation suitable for an annulment? The child was adopted (due to the couple's infertility) so he would not be made illegitimate by this, but they have been married for many years. They were married within the Church.

He will not re-marry after the divorce, but it seems unfair to me that he should suffer for her unfaithfulness. Can he get an annulment and re-marry within the Church or not?[/quote]
Divorce, as you know, doesn't actually do anything to the sacrament of marriage, but only severs civil ties. The Church does recognize the need at times for spouses to be separated temporarily, but the intention is always that they should fix their problems and come back together. Of course, if he cannot help a civil divorce, that is, "if civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense" (CCC 2383). However, if his only reason is because of her infidelity, it would seem to me that he should seek an annulment, not just a civil divorce. As you know, an annulment is not a sort of "Catholic divorce," but rather a statement that there was no valid marriage from the beginning. Many people won't seek a divorce because they don't like thinking that they weren't really married, but of course your brother would not be guilty of an illicit relationship, since he didn't know she was going to be unfaithful. An annulment, because it says that there was no marriage to begin with, requires that, at the time of the wedding, one party either lacked adequate knowledge of what marriage is or lacked the freedom to make a free will decision to marry. If your brother's wife believed that marriage could end or that adultery was okay, then there is good reason to believe that marriage never truly existed and it should be taken to a diocesan tribunal.

Have your brother speak to his priest or call the chancery office in your diocese. There are far too many factors and no one without a degree in canon law should be judging the matter. Also be sure to let him know that an annulment is not a failure on his part. It is a way of making sure that he is free of this burden in the eyes of God. Nevertheless, he should try to bring his wife to conversion. I will try to keep them in my prayers.

God bless,

Raphael