Love, Obligation, And Pharisaical Behavior

[Sojourner]

I've had a couple of conversations recently with friends on the topic of love, duty, and pharisaical behavior, and I'm wondering what other's thoughts are on this.

First conversation:
I was talking with a friend about something having to do with Christianity (can't remember what) and she stopped me mid-point and said, "Now wait a minute ... you seem to be assuming that if you are Christian, you should be going to church. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes," I said. "Participating in church and attending regularly is an important part of being a Christian."

"But, why is that important? And what about people who don't feel like being there, or who don't really have active faiths but are going just because they feel like they 'have to' ... why should they be there?"

I first started off with an awful analogy that obviously didn't communicate well ... but then I hit on talking about the tension between love and duty. My friend is married, so I said, "OK, you and John* have been married for what, five years? And I'm betting that there are times you don't want to be married ... times when you're ready to throw in the towel, or so pissed off at him that you can't see straight, or whatever, right?"

She nods.

"And I also bet that there are times that you could never imagine your life any differently, or any better ... times when you both are in the same place at the same time, and you mesh and connect really well, and in those moments, you wouldn't even think of leaving."

"Right."

"So there are times when you stay married because of the duty, the obligation you undertook, the promise you made ... and there are times you stay married because of how much you love each other."

"Yes."

"It's the same way with church. Sometimes you go because you have to go ... because of the promise you made back when you were confirmed, the duties and obligations you submitted to. And sometimes you go because you would rather be there than anywhere else. Sometimes the actions grow out of the emotion, and sometimes the emotion grows out of the action."

** end of conversation **

(*names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Then I had lunch with another friend who struggles with feeling like he's acting under obligation ... like he should always go to church not because he has to but because he wants to ... kinda a similar issue, but he's concerned about being pharisaical, and relying too much on the form of his actions rather than concentrating on the state of his heart.

I am still thinking through all the ramifications, because I think there are times that you do what you have to do not because you want to do it but because you have to do it. The ideal, of course, is to do these things out of love, but the reality is that the obligation is sometimes a burden ... maybe even often a burden. I guess I visualize it as a pendulum, or maybe more as a tug of war, because there's definitely a tension between the two sides. So when is acting out of duty bad? What is the line between obligation and pharisaical behavior? And anyone else have thoughts on this? I'd love to hear them.

[puellapaschalis]

In my head (which is far from the most reasoned place) there's a really complicated interaction-come-balancing-act-come-relationship between doing things because I want to and because I'm obliged to. I follow the rules because my faith - which is based on love - compelled (and compels) me to accept and be obedient to the rules imposed on me; yet at the same time it's not the case that my 'emotion' or 'feeling' is the [i]only[/i] thing that drives me to obey, as though the rules themselves had no force. Because they most definitely do, and there are certainly Sunday mornings when I wake up and really do not feel like getting up and going to Mass at all...and yet I do.

Which is usually the point I force myself to stop thinking about it too much lest my brains get tied into knots.

PP

[cmotherofpirl]

For a Catholic, it really doesn't matter whether we "feel" like going to church or not, we go because we are required to go by the commandments. Feelings do not enter into it. So if my Church has a less than great choir, an uninspired sermon, a lackadasical appoach - it really doesn't matter - we go anyway, because our feelings are subserviant to our will. We don't have to "want" to go to church, frankly I like sleeping in on Sunday mornings. We go because that is where God expects to find us. The idea that you don't have to go to church on sundays or participate in religion is a protestant thought that goes right along with private interpretation of the Bible, and is never a part of Catholic thought.
God gave us the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1214309' date='Mar 15 2007, 05:45 PM']For a Catholic, it really doesn't matter whether we "feel" like going to church or not, we go because we are required to go by the commandments. Feelings do not enter into it. So if my Church has a less than great choir, an uninspired sermon, a lackadasical appoach - it really doesn't matter - we go anyway, because our feelings are subserviant to our will. We don't have to "want" to go to church, frankly I like sleeping in on Sunday mornings. We go because that is where God expects to find us. The idea that you don't have to go to church on sundays or participate in religion is a protestant thought that goes right along with private interpretation of the Bible, and is never a part of Catholic thought.
God gave us the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.[/quote]

Actually hearing the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on Sundays and Holydays is one of the commandments given to us by the Church whose authority comes from God.

[Aloysius]

It is both a commandment of the Church AND one of the ten commandments