Deciding Your Vocation

[sunnysideup]

I am new to this and am discerning a vocation. I was hoping some of you might like to share your stories. How did you know what you were called to? How did you choose your community? Stuff like that...
Thanks
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[cathoholic_anonymous]

Mine is copied from another thread, but I've unpdated it in light of recent happenings.

1.) Received a phone call in Saudi Arabia. My disabled grandma was ill and in hospital. That night my mum and nine-year-old me were on the plane to England.

2.) At the hospital, I overheard Mum and the doctor talking and realised that Grandma was dangerously ill, with only a fractional chance of surviving surgery. If she lived, said the doctor, she would have to go into a nursing home for the rest of her life. At this time I only had one other friend besides Grandma, as I couldn't speak very well. (I have a form of autism, which was then undiagnosed.) When my mum gave me some money to buy sweets at the hospital shop, I went to the chapel instead and put the money in the collection box. I prayed to God for Grandma's healing and felt an amazing peace surge through me. I knew in an instant that she was going to be all right.

3.) I tried to share my joy with Mum, but she didn't believe me. She kept trying to prepare me gently for Grandma's death. The next day I spoke to a religious sister (dark blue habit and a dark blue veil with a white band) outside the hospital chapel. I told her everything, in my very blunt way, and she believed me.

4.) Grandma recovered from the surgery. She was out of hospital in under three weeks, a record time. She didn't have to go into a nursing home. She went straight back to independent living.

5.) I remembered that the only person who had believed me when I said Grandma was going to live was the nun. From then onwards, I kept on thinking about that sister. She would come into my head at the most surprising moments. What is it about growing up, I asked myself, that makes you stop believing that God can talk to nine-year-old girls? More importantly, why did the sister still believe it?

7.) At sixteen I decided that I had to do something about this. So I began to devour vocations literature with a real appetite and surf the Internet for sisters' websites. I didn't really know where to start, but I searched everywhere I could. The thought of cloistered life made me blench: then I didn't believe that prayer alone was worth anything. At the same time, I continued to return to the websites of cloistered sisters. They exercised a haunting fascination over my mind, mostly because of the peace in the faces of the sisters. They seemed almost luminous with it. Where did it come from?

8.) At eighteen I befriended a girl with a severe mental illness. Through helping her, I realised that my vocation involves people with mental health difficulties - whether it be through praying for them daily or through a 'hands-on' ministry. I was recently elected to the post of Mental Health Officer for my university, so I will have the chance to test this out over the coming year.

9.) At eighteen I got the opportunity to spend a few days in the cloister at the Carmelite monastery. I had felt attracted to Carmelite spirituality ever since my search began (primarily because of the poetry of John of the Cross) but this visit confirmed it for me. I left the monastery thinking, "Vegetarianism?! No more of my favourite fizzy apple juice??!! Definitely NOT for me." But I couldn't forget the beauty of the silent prayer or the deep interior stillness that had descended as I knelt down on my little prayer stool.

10.) That Easter, I visited the Corpus Christi Carmelites (an apostolic order) to see what they were like. I was disturbed by their lack of monasticism, but moved by their ministry. Their lack of structure and history pushed me gently away from them: I still don't understand how a religious order can start out as Dominican tertiaries, inexplicably become Carmelites of the Ancient Observance, and devote themselves to promoting the Little Way of St Therese even though she was a discalced nun. It still feels like a flawed tapestry to me.

11.) This summer, I wrote to the monastery to ask if I could live with them for an extended period. Happily, the Prioress said yes. The time for that visit is drawing closer... I've already been on a second three-day retreat and this time I can scarely wait to be back. It will be something to keep me inspired during exam term.

12.) A close friend of mine converted to Catholicism from evangelical Christianity. Candace is also pursuing a vocation to the religious life and has been since she was seven years old. At that age she informed her dad that she was going to be a nun when she grew up. Her dad replied that she couldn't, as there are no such things as Baptist nuns. Now she's delighted that she's going to be a real one! We meet frequently on MSN to pray and share the developments in our lives. Her encouragement and support is extremely helpful to me. Everyone should have a discernment buddy if they can.

Edited March 30, 2007 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[sunnysideup]

Thank you so much, that is a beautiful story!

[Starets]

I have long felt a call to prayer, even as a teenaged and tweenaged fundamentalist. of course, there is no such thing as a fundamentalist monastery. I had been baptised Ukrainian Catholic, but not raised in that faith at all. I "reverted" in 1997 to Roman Catholicism. There was still the calling to prayer, but huge debts prevented me from even considering the possibility of a vocation.

I went bankrupt in 2000. That cleared my mind of distractions and I was able to at least consider it. I made a couple retreats and discerned that I was called to religious life.

What clinched it for me was walking through a Jesuit cemetary next to a retreat center I was making a silent retreat at. these men probably had the same doubts and confusions I did and yet they perservered. If they could do it, why can't I?

I made a couple visits to different Benedictine monasteries over the last few years. Given my computer skills, I had to ask whether I anted to be the monk who kept the computers going or the person who kept the comptuers going who was a monk. I have decided that I am called to a more contemplative expression of hte benedictine life.

As it turns out most of my debts have survived the bankruptcy. My student loans cannot be included in my bankruptcy until 10 years have passed since I was last in college or university. that expires in a few months. Even then, I may not have all of them included, but at least interest might not be charged anymore.

So I wait and hope and pay and pray. I also try to be as supportive as I can of people who think they may have a vocation to the religious life.

[happynun]

I'd like to tell you a little about myself and my call...just so you can know where I'm coming from.

My parents had 16 children...I'm the 14th. At age 5, I remember telling my mother I was going to have 17 children. Later, that number changed to 21. At some point in my teens, I realized I would only be able to find one man who would allow me to have all the children I could ever want. His name is Jesus. I often said to myself that physically, I would never be able to bear all the children I want to have. I felt my heart was too big. That was not a statement of grandeur, but of a deep feeling.

In high school, I finally met the Salesian Sisters. I loved their joy, their sense of humor, their ability to make faith real, and to BE real. I loved to see them play volleyball with us, and just hang out. Love for God for the Salesian is not relegated to prayer life that is multiplied, but infuses the heart of life and our very breathing.

Salesians, in fact, until the last few years, found all of their vocations among their students. I think this is a testament to the quality of the presence of the Sisters among the young, and the power of the witness of their lives in community and for God.

So, I inevitably began to think about religious life. But who wants to be a nun today? That's not cool! That's not fun! So I got busy about NOT being a nun. I dated a few guys throughout high school, and every time I would come home, I really can't explain this part, but there was an emptiness, like I wanted to say, "That's all?". It wasn't that I didn't want to go out with these guys, or that the date was not fun, but that there seemed to be something much, much deeper that was missing in my heart...

By Senior year, I realized that I would have to make a decision, and after a roller coaster of yes/no, I decided that I would have to give religious life a go, and here's what made up my mind: I went to babysit for a couple. The woman was 34. They had two boys, nice kids, and fun to be with. The lady asked me once, "So, what are you going to do after high school?" I said, "Well, I'm not sure, I guess I'll just go to college and study to be a nurse, or something....I know it's funny, but I have these great nuns at my school, and sometimes I think of joining them, but I'm not sure." (Little did she know that the next thing she said would make up my mind~!) So she said, "Hey, that's funny. I used to think the same thing, and sometimes, I STILL WONDER IF THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE." So, needless to say, I did NOT want to wind up 34 and having missed the boat on a vocation...I entered that year!

And it was excellent. That little something that was always unsatisfied and unsettled wound up being still and happy, and my heart was full, as it still is very much today.

Well, I don't know if this talking on and on is helping you...or confusing you...but it's where I am.

I have taught for most of my religious life. Kids spend most of their day in school, and Salesians are all about kids, so... I taught everything from Kindergarten to High School...loving the work with the munchkins the most. After school hours were always full with teaching drums, guitar, calligraphy, twirling, drama clubs, arts and crafts, videography, crochet, basketball, and all sorts of other activities. For the most part, the Sisters take their skills and share them with the young during the afterschool hours...

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Thank you, happynun! Your post has made a lot of things extraordinarily clear to me. God bless you for that.

[Divine_Mercy504]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1228233' date='Apr 3 2007, 08:44 AM']Thank you, happynun! Your post has made a lot of things extraordinarily clear to me. God bless you for that.[/quote]

Amen to that!

happynun, what you siad has really made me think...

Rachel

[Lena]

I don't know if I have a vocation (sorry if I shouldn't be posting here then!), but I'm very open to the exploring stage. I first thought of actually becoming a nun because of the book [i]The Painted Veil [/i] by W. Somerset Maugham. I read it and thought, oh how beautiful of a life! (even though it was set in rural China and really a very hard life of missionary work!). That...brought to the forefront what I'd been searching for almost. Formulated thought. Like I've said, I'm still very unsure. But, I like thinking about it for now.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote]I don't know if I have a vocation (sorry if I shouldn't be posting here then!), but I'm very open to the exploring stage.[/quote]

[i]Everyone[/i] has a vocation.

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1228858' date='Apr 3 2007, 06:57 PM'][i]Everyone[/i] has a vocation. [/quote]

Absolutely. It's frustrating when people think that because they may not have a [i]religious[/i] vocation, they don't have a vocation at all!

And sunnysideup, whether or not you have a vocation to the religious life, you will benefit from discernment. There is absolutely no question about that.

[Nunsense]

[quote name='Lena' post='1228851' date='Apr 4 2007, 07:51 AM']I don't know if I have a vocation (sorry if I shouldn't be posting here then!), but I'm very open to the exploring stage. I first thought of actually becoming a nun because of the book [i]The Painted Veil [/i] by W. Somerset Maugham. I read it and thought, oh how beautiful of a life! (even though it was set in rural China and really a very hard life of missionary work!). That...brought to the forefront what I'd been searching for almost. Formulated thought. Like I've said, I'm still very unsure. But, I like thinking about it for now.[/quote]

I read several books that inspired me along the way. Today they would be considered out of date, but I know they help keep me thinking about my vocation, even though it took years to answer the call.

Try visiting some communities so you can start to learn where you are called. Was it the missionary aspect that attracted you, or the prayers etc? In my early discernment years, I thought I wanted to join the Missionaries of Charity, but after spending time with them, I discovered that I was not called to an active apostolate, but to a contemplative one. I would not have known that if I hadn't spent time exploring, so I am glad for the time with the MC sisters.

I will keep you in my prayers....

[sunnysideup]

Again, thank you all so much for sharing. These are beautiful, and inspirational stories. :lol_grin: :lol_grin:

[moon_child_anne]

I've been seriously discerning a call to religious life since I was in my second year of college, though the thought had actually started formulating in my mind when I was in highschool. When I was in highschool a Sister from the community of the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur came to talk to our class. She told us the story of Saint Julie Billiart and of the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur. I was drawn by the story of Saint Julie, but I really didn't intend to be a Sister. I remember that Sister taking me to their chapel, which was so dark, that I prayed that I'd get out of there as fast as I could. She told me to contact her if I felt like it. I didn't contact her for another few years...I was in college for a few years first.

When I contacted her, she put me in touch with their vocation director. I discerned with them for about 3 almost 4 years and it just didn't work out for me. So I took another year or so away, but the thought of religious life kept entering my mind. I contacted the vocation director of the Sisters of Mercy. That also didn't feel right to me.

I then contacted the vocation director of the Sisters of Notre Dame (different community than the Notre Dame de Namur sisters). This felt a little more right to me, though I was avoiding it like heck. I'm currently living with the Sisters and loving it. When I first came here, it felt like home to me. I feel like I've always been here and I think that the Sisters feel the same way.

I'm hoping to get word sometime in the near future that I can become a candidate. Please pray for me.

Peace,
Anne

PS Here's a site where you can talk in a forum with some of the Sisters of Notre Dame and some other women discerning. All that we ask is that only women apply.
[url="http://groups.msn.com/MeettheSistersofNotreDame/_whatsnew.msnw"]http://groups.msn.com/MeettheSistersofNotr.../_whatsnew.msnw[/url]

[imogen]

im digressing from the topic here a little but i'd really appreciate advice about what to do concerning education and the religious life.

I am in sixth form which to people that may not know what this is ( I'm not saying you're ignorant or anything but i am from england!!)
its the two years at school before university. I dont think i want to go to uni but i dont know what people normally do when they want to pursue their vocation, moreover, i dont want to make mistakes into running into a convent without experience.....if experience is necessary.

i'll 'pre-Thankyou' now.

Thankyou

[puellapaschalis]

[quote name='imogen' post='1262363' date='May 2 2007, 03:30 PM']im digressing from the topic here a little but i'd really appreciate advice about what to do concerning education and the religious life.

I am in sixth form which to people that may not know what this is ( I'm not saying you're ignorant or anything but i am from england!!)
its the two years at school before university. I dont think i want to go to uni but i dont know what people normally do when they want to pursue their vocation, moreover, i dont want to make mistakes into running into a convent without experience.....if experience is necessary.

i'll 'pre-Thankyou' now.

Thankyou[/quote]

After finishing my A-Levels I took a year out before going to university; when applying through UCAS I deferred my entry for a year, so that at the end of the year I could still choose whether I indeed wanted to pursue a degree or not. Have you considered that possibility?

The debts that you will come out with after having studied for three or four years are not inconsiderable, so take that into account. We don't have things like the Labore Foundation in the UK (or in Europe, for that matter), so if you do decide to study whilst continuing to discern you'll probably also need to work in order to offset as many of your costs as possible.

Having said all that, university is a unique experience and there's much to be gained from it for people who are suited. Not everyone is, and if you believe you're not then there's no shame in not going. Contrastingly, if you feel that you will gain much from those three years, then by all means go for it.

It may also be an idea to ask the communities you're interested in whether they would prefer that you have a degree or not. Some may see it as some necessary life experience, but I think most would prefer to get to know the individual.

Finally, go and talk to your parish priest about this. He will be able to offer you good suggestions as to how to move forward, and how to build up your prayer life in such a way that you can make these important life decisions wisely.

Love and prayers,

PP

[imogen]

That's really useful, thankyou.

I was considering in taking a year out after doing all my exams, but i hadnt decided whether to go to uni or not.

Can i please ask you (if you dont mind) how old you are and what you studied?

I was keen on doing theology but im aware that one needs to be cautious if doing so, and i thought i might do Italian......

you can obviously see my head is all mixed up atm!!!!

Thankyou

love and prayers also

imogen

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Hi Imogen,

Welcome to PM. I'm also from England. It's nice to see another British type on board.

I'm twenty years old and I'm still at university. I'm studying English literature and linguistics, dabbling in French on the side. University has been no impediment to my discernment whatsoever - we have a thriving Catholic chaplaincy here and a very popular vocational discernment group. Just being in the company of other young Catholics who are seriously considering the religious life has helped me more than I can say.

I knew that I had to study before entering the religious life. I love my work and feel sure that I could use it to the betterment of my community when I enter at last. It's a question of listening to what God wants you to do. PP's advice about a gap year is good. You could apply for courses that interest you (it would be possibly to study theology and Italian together at some places, you know) and spend the intervening twelve months in serious prayer and discernment. If you find a community that you feel drawn to, ask the sisters there for advice. If they think that it would be better for you to go to university first...the convent or monastery won't run away in the meantime.

Most communities that I know do prefer candidates for the religious life to have some further education or training before entering, but they are prepared to make exceptions. They will look at you as an individual, as this isn't like a job where you have to have a certain set of qualifications - it's a calling. The sisters understand that better than any of us.

[imogen]

thankyou......i'm just unsure about universities and been sidetracked from what i feel is more important. For example, i dont do half the stuff i should because an essay needs doing, or revision should be started.......i just feel that i want to break from school and do things i dont normally have time for. i think i will probably end up at uni, even if it ends up just being a MFL...
i needed to know what other ppl were doing in similar situations.

thanks again for your help, all that you and PP have said is really helpful!!!!!

imogen

[puellapaschalis]

I read for an MSci in Maths at London. I can't say that our chaplaincy was as good as it could have been - the place was very keen on ecumenism, so much so in fact that it was taken too far in some aspects (which had the Bishop's approval, albeit, and what the heck do I know anyway?). It certainly wasn't the shining time that it could have been had there been a better chaplaincy there, but I don't for one moment regret it: I love the subject and feel very privileged to have been able to devote four years to it.

PP

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

For me it all began with a simple question at my first experience with religious.

"Have you ever thought about the religious life?"

It was at the Here I Am Lord conference in St. Charles, IL at the very first one. I, being the collector that I am, was walking about, table to table, taking prayer cards and whatever it was that I could take. There was something going on at that point and most of the religious were not at their tables, but there were some Sisters still at their table. I walked by, and they asked me the question. To be honest, I had been there nearly all day by that time, and the thought never crossed my mind. But that question was pointed to me, and it made me think. It got me thinking, and kept me thinking all through high school, even though after returning home from the conference I sat down and attempted to tell my parents about it and was greeted with a quite stern proclamation "you will not be a nun." That was the most talk of the religious vocation for at least a few years. But the Lord called more and more, He would not let me be. Sure, there were times that it seemed that the calling faded, but it always came back and left me thinking. As I told others at my Parish, I found support and even recommendations of the Poor Clares in Rockford, but I swept the idea to the side for the time being and found myself in a rather passive state of discernment.

After sometime, the Lockport Dominicans contacted me, and the issue of the religious life appeared again at home. This time it was getting permission to go to Louisiana alone to visit for an extended weekend. It was a bit of a battle, but God ended up winning and I was able to visit. It was my very first visit and first serious look into discerning communities. It stirred up my discernment that I had allowed to sit for quite some time. It was there that I found the Poor Clares again, this time in a book of religious communities in the US. I penned a letter to send to the Sisters once I got back home. My time in Louisiana was really a turning point in life and especially in discernment.

It was shortly after that I was able to visit Rockford. It was quite beautiful and I had arrived on a Friday afternoon, in the middle of benediction. It was amazing and I looked into Jesus there in the Most Blessed Sacrament, and I felt as though I were a fish, and He had a line right to my heart and was tugging and would continue tugging until I was His. I immediately felt at home and peaceful. Although I asked God to provide me with a favorite food to show that this is where He wanted me. I admit, it was a silly little thing to do, but while there I had a kiwi, which I love and had not had for quite sometime, but I also had beets, which I honestly cannot eat without gagging, although I am a little better about it now. I thought of it more as a sign that this is it, but it will not be easy. The Sisters were absolutely wonderful and amazing and after a few visits, I was able to meet them all. Each Sister beautiful, with a gleaming personality that differed greatly! Each visit leaves me renewed and peaceful. I love the way that the Lord has done all that He has for me, although it takes hindsight to see just how wonderful these things are.

I guess there is more to elaborate on in the story, but that is the basic happenings in my discernment.
God bless!