Spanking

[T-Bone _]

Yep.

Edited July 10, 2007 by T-Bone _

[tojo]

[quote name='heshmafluff' post='1322747' date='Jul 10 2007, 01:38 PM']My parents spanked me as a kid.

They never did it when they were angry, and they never did it if we had company over or anything...and only if we did something REALLY REALLY bad, when we should have known better. They would tell us not to the first time, yell at us the second, spank us the third...we had time to get our acts together beforehand.

For most of my life I have been told what well-behaved kids we were...[/quote]

This sounds like what I want to do.

My parents spanked, and out of anger, and for bad reasons at time. Not the way I want to do it. Still, the spakings don't really bother me, I'm not mad at my parents for their poor use of spanking.

Yelling actually bothered me much more, especially yelling in a mean and angry way. Don't do that, especially if you have sensitive, tenderhearted children.

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='tomasio127' post='1322760' date='Jul 10 2007, 11:43 AM']Yelling actually bothered me much more, especially yelling in a mean and angry way. Don't do that, especially if you have sensitive, tenderhearted children.[/quote]

They won't be sensitive or tenderhearted for long...

[tojo]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1322763' date='Jul 10 2007, 01:44 PM']They won't be sensitive or tenderhearted for long...[/quote]

Oh trust me, that doesn't change.

Though it does effect the affection for the parents.

[socalscout]

It does not work for me. Don't get me wrong it is much easier to spank a child than to put him in time out but time out is more grueling for a child. My 3.5 year old does not respond to spanking. He will continue the same behavior, in defiance, immediately after he receives a spanking without batting an eye. I will not spank so hard, or on a bare bottom or use a weapon in order to cause my child pain. I am not that kind of parent. Now, instead, if I take him away from the fun for 5 minutes and make him sit and stare at the wall you would think I was stabbing him with hot pokers. Works for me even though it is a pain in the rear

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1322733' date='Jul 10 2007, 12:30 PM']If there was no car, would a lesson have been learned?[/quote]
What would spanking him have done? If I can't find a way to teach my children apart from spanking, [i]I[/i] have a problem.

[quote name='prose' post='1322746' date='Jul 10 2007, 12:37 PM']However, I think the problem comes when people know no other resort, and all they do is spank.[/quote]
Bingo.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1322887' date='Jul 10 2007, 03:29 PM']What would spanking him have done? If I can't find a way to teach my children apart from spanking, [i]I[/i] have a problem.
Bingo.[/quote]

Spanking is a quick effective method for getting a childs undivided attention. A swat on the tail at the time of the offense is much better than the parent whining wait til I get you home etc, or yelling or carrying on or threatening the child for later vengance. . That was all that was necessary.
I get extremely tired of hearing children whining in stores, or running thru restaurants or sassing adults and the parents whining back, screaming matches in public, or parents standing there rather helplessly trying to reason with brats.
The first time it happens you explain that they will be taken outside, spanked and with immediately go home and go to bed. If the tantrum , whining etc continues then you follow thru. If you are in the store you calmly leave everything sit there and you walk out the door. You swat the butt [amply padded by the ALmighty anyway] and proceed home. Usually one time is enough to prevent it ever happening again.
I think my eldest was spanked twice, and #2 son once, my daughter never. As they got older other methods of punishment took over, but for misbehaving in public, a swat on the butt and a trip home was all it took.

[Azriel]

Danielle has been swatted on the bottom. THere is a difference between a swat on the butt, which is attention grabbing at most, not really all that painful, and beating a child's bottom with a belt.

The parent grows with the child. Some disciplines work better on different children. Danielle's swats have become less effective as she has gotten older, and taking my attention away from her has worked much much better.

[KnightofChrist]

Spanking? I think there should be BOOTINGS! Aw, it's just a little kick in the bum. What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot, you ask? Shush! Disparaging the boot would be a bootable offense!

But a part of me thinks when will you who use spanking learn? Liberals have stopped using
spanking, and things have never been better! The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, because, as the old saying goes, "Let your children run wild and free."

[Maggyie]

My brothers and sister and I were swatted quite frequently all through childhood. I don't remember them using anything but their hands, although when my brothers got older my father would take his belt off. Nothing else, sometimes not even saying anything, just [i]taking his belt off[/i], and that did the trick! In our PC society some people might consider the old man "abusive" for scaring his boys like that, but I think most people who were familiar with my brothers' conduct would want to buy my dad a beer.

I think the idea that spanking (and I don't mean genuine abusive behavior) is damaging to children is somewhat over-rated, although I think it's ultimately up to each parent how they want to discipline their children. It really didn't teach me that violence solved problems, but it did teach me not to run ahead of my mother in the supermarket parking lot, jump in the car and lock her out for twenty minutes when I was mad about not getting a Ring Pop

Some kids are probably much more malleable, and you can reason with them at a younger age. I hope if I marry I don't ever have to spank my kids, but if they are out of control it won't rip me up inside. Spare the rod, and all.

Edited July 10, 2007 by Maggie

[Socrates]

"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

There is nothing wrong with spanking, if done in moderation, and a spirit of loving discipline.
There is a difference between spanking and child-abuse, and proper moderation should be exercised (Obviously, parents should not beat their kids black-and-blue, but there are already laws in place against such abuse). I think especially for small children, spanking is more effective than other forms of discipline.

What form of discipline should be used and how probably varies with different parents and children, but that is for the parents to decide. Laws against all spanking and corporal punishment are a grave intrusion of government into family life where it has no business. It is not the job of government to dictate how parents must raise their kids.

As for the argument that spanking makes kids violent, that is just more liberal malarky. Corporal punishment used to be administered much more commonly in times past, yet there is hardly less violence among kids today. Back when kids learned to the tune of the hickory stick, Columbine-style massacres and such were unheard of. There is much more of a problem with undisciplined kids who get away with everything until they grow up and run afoul of the law. Absent or weak fathers are more of a problem in society than fathers who responsibly administer corporal punishment. (Actually abusive fathers are a different story).

Saying allowing parents to decide whether or not to spank their kids is "tantamount other things liberals don't get away with" if you are referring to "the right to choose" abortion is stupid.
Parents should be allowed to discipline their children, not kill them. Anyone who cannot see the difference is wilfully blind.

Edited July 11, 2007 by Socrates

[Dreamweaver]

I was swatted on the behind when I seriously misbehaved, and I turned out normal. To me it wasn't the physical pain that kept me in line, it was the hurt ego. I wasn't spanked for trivial stuff. I don't think I was spanked past 6 years old or something along those lines. I do have problems with parents that spank their children out of ANGER and abuse them.

[Starets]

No, it should not be made illegal. One thing we do NOT need is "Government by social worker". Group Homes and Foster Homes are not necessarily better than the parents. Trust me. Nevertheless, one of the things I am deeply grateful for is that I am not called to parenthood. Ther is no way I could ever spank. Not after whjat happened to me. I will not go into details as there are minors on this site.

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1323268' date='Jul 10 2007, 04:48 PM']Spanking is a quick effective method for getting a childs undivided attention. A swat on the tail at the time of the offense is much better than the parent whining wait til I get you home etc, or yelling or carrying on or threatening the child for later vengance. . That was all that was necessary.
I get extremely tired of hearing children whining in stores, or running thru restaurants or sassing adults and the parents whining back, screaming matches in public, or parents standing there rather helplessly trying to reason with brats.
The first time it happens you explain that they will be taken outside, spanked and with immediately go home and go to bed. If the tantrum , whining etc continues then you follow thru. If you are in the store you calmly leave everything sit there and you walk out the door. You swat the butt [amply padded by the ALmighty anyway] and proceed home. Usually one time is enough to prevent it ever happening again.
I think my eldest was spanked twice, and #2 son once, my daughter never. As they got older other methods of punishment took over, but for misbehaving in public, a swat on the butt and a trip home was all it took.[/quote]
As I said in an earlier post, I have no problem smacking my children's respective bums for trivial matters. It's the "cold blooded," pull down your pants, lie face down on the bed, and I'll have a go at you that I have a problem with.

Whining parents or shouting matches are just as much failures of imagination and intelligence as spanking, IMHO. [i]We're[/i] the adults. We need to keep it together and [i]live out the behavior we want to teach our children.[/i]

Again, each parent must do what works for him / her, within reason of course, i.e. not crossing the line into child abuse.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='kenrockthefirst' post='1324156' date='Jul 11 2007, 10:35 AM']As I said in an earlier post, I have no problem smacking my children's respective bums for trivial matters. It's the "cold blooded," pull down your pants, lie face down on the bed, and I'll have a go at you that I have a problem with.

Whining parents or shouting matches are just as much failures of imagination and intelligence as spanking, IMHO. [i]We're[/i] the adults. We need to keep it together and [i]live out the behavior we want to teach our children.[/i]

Again, each parent must do what works for him / her, within reason of course, i.e. not crossing the line into child abuse.[/quote]

In my book, that would qualify as a beating. Legally in most states, any action taken against a child that results in a mark is abuse.

If you walk around the shopping malls or grocery stores, it sounds like there are very few adults out there.

[T-Bone _]

Yeah. When I think of spanking, I think of a few swats on the butt.

[missionarybelle]

We were spanked as children. and yes sometimes it hurt. but we were always spanked out of love and not out of anger and taught that bad actions had consequenses. and I'll tell you what, when mom would get to correcting us regularly when we did wrong, we knew and were much better behaved. but as soon as she would start slipping, we'd test our boundaries to see what we could get away with.

I'll probably spank my children if I need to. though some kids need different types of punishment. for example, one of my tender young sisters usually only had to be verbally told to stop disobeying and she'd immediately stop. Then another sister came along who was canaille as the day is long. my mom spanked her frequently, washed her mouth out with soap, put her in timeout, made her do extra chores, reduced her privelidges.... she tried just about everything and that sister is STILL extremely defiant. she will make a great saint someday because she's so strong willed.

[Church Punk]

Im shocked this topic is on this good Catholic forum, what a husband and wife want to do for fun should remain between just the 2 of them.

But seriously I think there comes a point where a spanking would do a child some good. Last weekend I was ready to through some kids in the lake because of how horrible they were behaving, but the parents didnt seem to have any problem with it (the childs behavior), my girl friend and I later discussed that if we get married and have kids that act like that we would sell them on the black market.

[kenrockthefirst]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1324258' date='Jul 11 2007, 09:36 AM']If you walk around the shopping malls or grocery stores, it sounds like there are very few adults out there.[/quote]
I'm not saying I don't whine or shout. Indeed, it's based on my experience of doing same that I know such actions result from a lack of imagination and intelligence.

I think we've agreed that a few smacks on the backside are acceptable and never did anyone any harm, and that force in excess of that verges on or crosses over into abuse.

[T-Bone _]

[quote name='Church Punk' post='1324279' date='Jul 11 2007, 09:10 AM']...my girl friend and I later discussed that if we get married and have kids that act like that we would sell them on the black market.[/quote]

As slaves, or as meat?