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Father Corapi Facts


Chiquitunga

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Okay, this may a few weeks late, but I finally found the Fr. Corapi Chuck Norris jokes I referred to in one of the old Chuck threads. ^_^ They were actually a lot funnier the first time I read them, but here's a start.

Written by a seminarian on Facebook. :priest: (I'm not there, but a friend is :j)


Father Corapi is awesome.


Father Corapi does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die (in order to administer Viaticum...duh).


Every time Father Corapi says Mass, an angel gets its wings.


Father Corapi and God once shared a high-five. The wind that was created caused Hurricane Katrina.


Father Corapi, when he was in the military, once shot down an enemy plane by pointing his finger and shouting, "Bang!"


They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Father Corapi. He doesn't have to.


"Abortion clinics, pornography stores...I would move my artillery into place and light 'em up! I would totally liquidate them...speaking metaphorically, of course"


The Soldier's Creed states, "surrender is not an option...except when Father Corapi is in town."


The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing fear has to fear is Father Corapi.


Regardless of race, gender, location, or education level... at one point in your life you have underestimated Father Corapi. You will live just long enough to regret this.


"I am ready and willing to destroy my enemies in close and mortal combat."


Father Corapi's statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary wears combat boots.


Father Corapi's Rosary is made of spent .54 caliber bullet shells. No, really.


When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn't there.


An apple a day does not keep Father Corapi away. Only going to Mass and confession every day keeps Father Corapi away... sometimes.

Edited by Margaret Clare
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  • 2 weeks later...
cathoholic_anonymous

[quote]Father Corapi's statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary wears combat boots.

When Satan goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet to make sure Father Corapi isn't there.[/quote]

These two. Definitely these two.

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His momma does wear army boots. :lol: He gave that joke on an EWTN special last year. Oh that was a good talk he gave. He had to do it over the web though cause he was off somewhere else. Probably roundhouse kicking some evil in the face.

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