rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 (edited) I'm very frustrated. I went through an [b]extremely [/b]nasty breakup at the beginning of the summer from my boyfriend of 2 years. He had been doing some awful things to me for a long time, and I finally got the courage to call it quits. I even told him that I did not want to be friends with him, for it was just too much. Now, I've come to find out that he has not only been spreading some pretty bad and untrue rumors about my friend (that she was pregnant, when she wasn't), but also myself. I've remained pretty calm throughout the whole situation and have taken the higher road almost every time. He's still doing so many awful things to me....When he talks to mutual friends about me, he will just straight up lie about the things he's done to me and so on.... But, I'm just so frustrated. I don't know what to do. Edited August 28, 2007 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Me neither. I'd pray about it, though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I don't think there's anything you can do. You can't control the actions of other people, no matter how much you want to. This kind of thing happens, so the best you can do is be sure that your side of the street is clean. If he belittles you to other people, don't stoop to the same level. If he demands that his friends not speak to you, don't return insult with insult. Best to pray about it, and continue working on healing yourself. Perhaps someday you can be at peace with one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 By spreading rumors he hopes to keep interacting with you... You'll try to convince him to stop etc... Ignoring him is about all you can do. It's exactly what he doesn't want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 If he is spreading lies about you and other people, it is serious matter that could hurt you in future relationships. You are not required to take a "hit" with your reputation. And the fact that he is spreading lies about another person with pregnancy accusations shows that [i]he is dangerous and will only hurt the next person down the line[/i]. Sounds like an abusive person to me, and in my experience abusers only grow worse until they are stood up to and put in their place. Protecting yourself and the next person is a higher priority than "taking the high road". As long as you don't have to report it in confession, don't worry about about what you need to do in the interest of protecting yourself and the next person. When this guy is rendered harmless, then there will be time enough to "take the high road". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Um, what are you advocating she do to protect herself? Call in the heavies to teach him a lesson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 I've been ignoring him. But now he's trying to get to my closest circle of friends and become buddy-buddy with them. They aren't having it and don't like him anyways- especially after what he did to me. But, it doesn't seem likes he's going to stop anytime soon. It's really getting to me, and it is a good thing I have not really been in serious contact with him since about June, otherwise I might have snapped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Gosh Rach, thats awful. I'll be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1372127' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:47 PM']Um, what are you advocating she do to protect herself? Call in the heavies to teach him a lesson? [/quote] Just make sure that he doesn't get away with lies. Let [i]him[/i] get a reputation as a liar and "lose face", and let the attempt to falsely accuse the other girl about being pregnant come back to bite him in the butt; after all, he only brought it on himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 Not to mention, his Southern Baptist parents never liked me because I was a Catholic girl. So they always treated me like dirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Talk to his parents. He's obviously still a child so they'd know how to best handle him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1372136' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:56 PM']Just make sure that he doesn't get away with lies. Let [i]him[/i] get a reputation as a liar and "lose face", and let the attempt to falsely accuse the other girl about being pregnant come back to bite him in the butt; after all, he only brought it on himself.[/quote] Oh, it has. She's quite the confrontational girl (and I thought I was bad!). She left him with some words to ponder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 (edited) [quote name='rachael' post='1372131' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:50 PM']I've been ignoring him. But now he's trying to get to my closest circle of friends and become buddy-buddy with them. They aren't having it and don't like him anyways- especially after what he did to me. But, it doesn't seem likes he's going to stop anytime soon.[/quote] That's good that you have a base of friends like that - that's what I mean about protecting yourself. Do they know about what [edit] he did to the other girl? Did you say that you were friends with her as well? Maybe your circle of friends can protect her as well, and vice versa with her circle of friends. Edited August 28, 2007 by Norseman82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='dUSt' post='1372139' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:56 PM']Talk to his parents. He's obviously still a child so they'd know how to best handle him.[/quote] They don't like me. They won't listen to me. They think he's an Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 (edited) [quote name='Norseman82' post='1372141' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:59 PM']That's good that you have a base of friends like that - that's what I mean about protecting yourself. Do they know about what they did to the other girl? Did you say that you were friends with her as well? Maybe your circle of friends can protect her as well, and vice versa with her circle of friends.[/quote] They all know. As for that friend, she's quite capable of protecting herself, plus she's not anywhere near the situation. Edited August 28, 2007 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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