rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 *sigh* It's been 4 months since this began. I wish it were over by now. Too bad it just seems to be getting worse. Can I get some hugs around here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='rachael' post='1372208' date='Aug 27 2007, 11:55 PM']*sigh* It's been 4 months since this began. I wish it were over by now. Too bad it just seems to be getting worse. Can I get some hugs around here?[/quote] You know I'd hug ya if I could. Come to Dallas already! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1372212' date='Aug 28 2007, 12:59 AM']You know I'd hug ya if I could. Come to Dallas already! [/quote] get me a ticket! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 what makes the situation even more awkward is that that he's rooming with my best guy friend (who's also my best friend's boyfriend). eek! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 anyways, i just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded. i just needed some insight from people outside of the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Sorry i've come so late to the discussion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 rachael, I've known you here on phatmass for awhile (I used to post as jasJis). Lot's of us go through this totally unfair 'attack' from people. Old boy(girl) friends, family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances. One of my daughters has gone through this twice when she had a falling out with two different close friends. The other person manipulates the circle of friends with lies and further harrassed my daughter. The first time my daughter tried many things to defend herself, but nothing seemed to work. After about 8 months, it petered out. The second time, she avoided engaging in the drama as best she could, was cordial when around the other person, and simply was the good person she natually is. From what I know of you, over the years on phatmass, you are definitely a nice, funny, friendly, and good person. Give up on trying to make things right. It only adds to the drama and keeps things going. As Norseman pointed out, liars and nasty people end up showing their true colors to most people. You will never be able to convince everyone and may lose some friends, but you won't lose the people that are worth having as friends if you act and behave as rachael, the nice, friendly, kind person you really are. You aren't perfect, so you will take a few hits from this jerk. Accept that and move on. Rely on your real friends to support you and remind you what a decent person you are. Don't let this jerk drag you down. Unfortunatley, I'm too far away to offer to blacken an eye or cause tears for you like I would do for my 4 sisters and 2 daughters when boy friends become jerks. I would tell the boy friends if you make my sister or daughter cry, be assured, I can make you cry harder. (you know I'm just kinda kidding on that, trying to lighten things up) kinda, really. I really believe you are being treated meanly and unfairly by someone who has succumbed to evil temptations in a painful situation. Don't allow temptation for vengance, (or your version of 'justice') lead you astray and fall into the trap of engaging in wickedness yourself. God loves you and there are plenty who know the real you that like and respect you as a great person. Cheer up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 [quote name='Anomaly' post='1372280' date='Aug 28 2007, 07:23 AM']Give up on trying to make things right. It only adds to the drama and keeps things going. As Norseman pointed out, liars and nasty people end up showing their true colors to most people. You will never be able to convince everyone and may lose some friends, but you won't lose the people that are worth having as friends if you act and behave as rachael, the nice, friendly, kind person you really are. You aren't perfect, so you will take a few hits from this jerk. Accept that and move on. Rely on your real friends to support you and remind you what a decent person you are. Don't let this jerk drag you down. I really believe you are being treated meanly and unfairly by someone who has succumbed to evil temptations in a painful situation. Don't allow temptation for vengance, (or your version of 'justice') lead you astray and fall into the trap of engaging in wickedness yourself. God loves you and there are plenty who know the real you that like and respect you as a great person. Cheer up.[/quote] i agree - a liar's true colors will come out in the end, and in the meantime, your true friends will rise to the surface and be there for you. sorry you have to go through this, but i also think that there may be a blessing in all of this - you are getting a taste of what Jesus had to go through (rejected by those who knew Him because of lies). this can be a great opportunity for you to grow even closer to Jesus. Peace to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 thanks y'all. i just really wish he would grow up and start acting like the 21-year-old that he really is because it i just want to move on with my life already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 [quote name='Anomaly' post='1372280' date='Aug 28 2007, 08:23 AM']Give up on trying to make things right. It only adds to the drama and keeps things going.[/quote] That's where you've got me. I'm not a person who can just sit and watch and let things happen. I feel [i]obligated[/i] to make things right again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 [quote name='rachael' post='1372897' date='Aug 28 2007, 07:58 PM']That's where you've got me. I'm not a person who can just sit and watch and let things happen. I feel [i]obligated[/i] to make things right again.[/quote] I am the same way. The problem comes in when the other person does not feel the same obligation. You would think, for example, that people who go by the name "Christian" would act in a certain way, but that is not the way things work out in practice. It's easy to find excuses to poo-poo the call to reconciliation and peace when you don't feel like it. You sometimes have to just accept that people don't live up to what they say they are and accept that you can't do anything to fix that. Oh and because I didn't give you a hug yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 (edited) [quote name='rachael' post='1372897' date='Aug 28 2007, 07:58 PM']That's where you've got me. I'm not a person who can just sit and watch and let things happen. I feel [i]obligated[/i] to make things right again.[/quote] Your ex-"boyfriend" is total scum, going by your description. I'd avoid him and his circle of "friends" as much as possible. There is nothing I despise more than a malicious liar. People like that cannot be "reconciled" with; they have no honor or manliness and seek only to manipulate and use others. They understand only pain and fear. Do you have any good strong male friends? If so, it might be good to ask him to have a little "talk" with that little slime and straighten him out. Edited August 29, 2007 by Socrates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 [quote name='Socrates' post='1372949' date='Aug 28 2007, 08:34 PM']Your ex-"boyfriend" is total scum, going by your description. I'd avoid him and his circle of "friends" as much as possible. There is nothing I despise more than a malicious liar. People like that cannot be "reconciled" with; they have no honor or manliness and seek only to manipulate and use others. They understand only pain and fear. Do you have any good strong male friends? If so, it might be good to ask him to have a little "talk" with that little slime and straighten him out.[/quote] Wow. I wish I could paint such a black and white picture of humanity. It would make life so much easier. Instead I am left with the command that we are to be reconciled to one another and to pray for healing and peace. Thankfully God does not see as as being defined by our sins alone. He stills sees something worth saving in us. And so we continue to pray for restoration and reconciliation even in the situations that seem most hopeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 There seems to be such a divided line on how I should handle the whole situation.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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