Wives Be Submissive To Your Husbands?

[rizz_loves_jesus]

I am having difficulty inderstanding and accepting 'wives be submissive to your husbands'. Does this mean women must obey their husbands? I just don't understand

*Rizz

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='rizz_loves_jesus' post='1427742' date='Dec 1 2007, 10:05 AM']I am having difficulty inderstanding and accepting 'wives be submissive to your husbands'. Does this mean women must obey their husbands? I just don't understand

*Rizz[/quote]
This verse has typically met a great deal of resistance from the feminist movement, but it is in no way against women. St. Paul, in fact, elaborates in the whole passage just what he means. Pope John Paul II, who was himself a feminist, although of a different kind, said that marriage demanded mutual submission by both spouses, each to the other. The fact is that this submission is lived out in different ways. As woman was taken from man's side (next to his heart), a wife is always to be loved by her husband as he loves himself, because, at least in a mystical way, women were taken from men. This aspect of the account of the creation in Genesis shows us the kind of love men and women are called to: because men are naturally (and this does not always mean that every given man is particularly well-suited, but men in general) best suited for the position of leadership in a relationship (due, in part, to their psychological traits, but even more fundamentally, due to their place as the origin and thus head of women), their wives should be submissive to them, meaning that, ultimately, a wife should follow her husband's lead. A husband, likewise, must submit, but in a way which is not as general: a husband must use his task of leading his wife first in the best interests of serving the objective truth (that is, doing what's right before God), then in the interests of serving the marriage itself (the common good of the couple and the children together), then in serving the interests of his wife, even to the point of dying to protect her life, her dignity, and, most of all, her soul. This is for the same reason that a woman must obey: she is from him, and so he leads her, however, because she is from him, he is bound to protect her and to serve her with love stemming out of the same love he has for himself (and for God).

So, in an ideal relationship, a woman must obey her husband (especially in areas where God, the family, or she herself would be violated otherwise), while a man must serve his wife with his leadership. If this is done correctly, a virtuous man will only ask of his wife what is good for God, family, and herself, and so, a virtuous woman would have no qualms with obeying such directives.

Notice that St. Paul, in his whole explanation, says that it is in reference to Christ and the Church. Christ has always been seen in theology as the Bridegroom of the Church, which is the spotless Bride of God. So, as the Church, we obey Christ, and we are bound to do so, but He only asks us to do what is good and just, and so a faithful Christian has no disagreement with His commands. Likewise, because we love Him, we trust Him, so that even if we do not understand why He orders something from us, we do it because we want Him to be happy. It is a given that He only orders us because He wants us to be happy.

Consequently, if a man orders his wife to do anything which is evidently in violation of God, the family, or her own dignity as a person and a woman (or against the husband's dignity, for that matter), then the wife is not obliged to obey, but in fact, to disobey such a command, as she owes greater obedience to God than to her husband. However, if a command from her husband is not clearly right or wrong, but is morally neutral (such as, for instance, a command that the family will move to a new town), then a wife should obey out of love, trusting that her husband is doing this out of love for her. So really, the passage demonstrates an ideal of what marriage is to be for us as Christians: a situation of mutual subjection of both spouses, each to the other, out of love. The difficulty lies in living this out. If a husband and wife are able to live it out faithfully, though there will be hardships and disagreements, they will find their love and faith in each other growing, and they will ultimately find great fulfillment in their relationship.

God bless,

Raphael

PS-For more on this matter, please look into Pope John Paul II's [u]Theology of the Body[/u] or Christopher West's simplified versions.