Love Is Stupid.

[morostheos]

Al, as you said you're not looking for advice, so I'm not really going to give any. Just know that you are in my prayers, and remember - God has a plan for your life and His ultimate plan includes your happiness. This is all part of the journey.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Aloysius' post='1437278' date='Dec 21 2007, 07:43 PM']moving on, yeah sure, I've said as much already in this thread.

"ex-list" to be avoided? not a chance in hell. that may be how some people roll, but it's not how I roll. I do not end my love, I do not ignore those I love, the pain is worth it.

I have another ex that I was very serious about once upon a time, and I am still friends with her.

in any event, my friend and I have a bi-annual ritual wherein we update our lists of "friends"... but the list is a very selective list and must be restricted only to those who are such good friends that they can never be removed, no matter what. it's not notarized or anything, haha, but I take it very seriously (and it threatens anyone who would remove from it with plagues!! )... there are about 3 or 4 people on it, she is one of them.

this is the way I am. call it a combination of stubbornness, loyalty, naivety, whatever, that's how it is. and it is... what it is.

i'm off to hang out with her at starbucks now. yeah.[/quote]


I know what you mean, I'm pretty much the same way. It definitely smells of elderberries at first, but it is worth it.

Prayers for you!

[jiyoung]

As much as you're not looking for advice, I think what people have been saying is pretty sound advice anyhow--you either need to fight for her or let her go, like Dust says, and it seems like you've decided to let her go. That means you need to give her space and, more importantly, give yourself space. If you intend to let her go, then that means not hanging out with her and definitely not helping her pick out Christmas presents for her new boyfriend. You're just torturing yourself.

Besides, if you're nursing a hope that she may come back to you, she won't unless you give her some room--she's probably used to having you around all the time, and not having you around will either be a relief in a sense, or help her to realize that she made the wrong choice. But staying so active in her life just muddies the waters. Plus, you need time to heal alone, too.

[Aloysius]

I think it's worth mentioning that one of my ex-girlfriends agrees with dUSt that I should fight for her. lol.

in any event, while I appreciate the advice, my mind is made up. like I said, I'm stubborn. this is just the way it is.

but again, I refuse to just cut her out of my life or whatever. don't tell me I'm just torturing myself, I'm doing far more than that, I'm salvaging all that is good about the last 2-3 years of my life. it's all good.

seriously, i've been way too melodramatic and exposed myself way too much for my own comfort in this thread. it's totally ridiculous.

Ron Paul '08

[dUSt]

Your trip to Ireland is probably exactly what you need.

[Aloysius]

yeah, very probably.

[dUSt]

[quote name='Aloysius' post='1437429' date='Dec 22 2007, 01:16 AM']I think it's worth mentioning that one of my ex-girlfriends agrees with dUSt. lol.[/quote]
That's weird. Women usually don't agree with me until [b]after[/b] they are influenced by my good looks. Strange.





... wait. Did you just say that you talked to your ex-ex-girlfriend about your ex-girlfriend?

Dude.

[Aloysius]

lol she's a member of the phorum and PMed me. but we're good friends. i won't embarrass her by revealing her sn. haha

anyway, yes, I'm really weird. and I'm pretty sure God's purpose for me is to date girls, teach them to like the Latin Mass and Ron Paul, and then send them off to convince their next boyfriend of these same principals.

[Aloysius]

Anyway, I've always seen my life in terms of writing a good storyline. I'm feeling some sort of dramatic season finale cliffhanger might need to be written before I run off to Ireland.

[rachael]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1437434' date='Dec 22 2007, 02:20 AM']That's weird. Women usually don't agree with me until [b]after[/b] they are influenced by my good looks. Strange.
... wait.[/quote]
.....but you're so.....


short....

[dUSt]

[quote name='rachael' post='1437441' date='Dec 22 2007, 01:38 AM'].....but you're so.....
short....

[/quote]
[b]Lie.[/b]

I am above average height in every country except for the Dinarc Alps and the Netherlands.

Also, I am very tall in the Philippines.

[rachael]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1437443' date='Dec 22 2007, 02:46 AM'][b]Lie.[/b]

I am above average height in every country except for the Dinarc Alps and the Netherlands.

Also, I am very tall in the Philippines.[/quote]
maybe i'm just way above average height?

anyways, sorry for calling you short the other day. it's not exactly the best way to meet someone.

i have no fiddler between my brain and my mouth.

Edited December 22, 2007 by rachael

[PapaHilarious]

[quote name='Aloysius' post='1437436' date='Dec 21 2007, 11:29 PM']I'm pretty sure God's purpose for me is to date girls, teach them to like the Latin Mass and Ron Paul, and then send them off to convince their next boyfriend of these same principals. [/quote]

eh, i was a little let-down by my Tridentine Mass experience, but i'll grant you Ron Paul at least

...

as a man who's had his share of heartbreak in life, i think the hard thing i've had to learn is how strong it makes you on the other side. that's not the most comforting thing to think about in the moment, but when you dedicate yourself to prayer and stay close to the Sacraments, trials and suffering truly are the refiner's fire. it's like that show i saw on PBS a few months ago -- we can't afford cable -- about how they make Samurai swords. what's incredible is that it is actually the stress of bending the iron hundreds of times over, to the point that it seems like it'd break, that ultimately all the impurity is worked out of the sword and it becomes strong.

other than Samurais, i also like St. John of the Cross on the subject:
[size=3][quote]O you souls who wish to go on with so much safety and consolation, if you knew how pleasing to God is suffering, and how much it helps in acquiring other good things, you would never seek consolation in anything; but you would rather look upon it as a great happiness to bear the Cross of the Lord.[/quote][/size]

for me, i see now how my life has led up to and molded me in preparation for the birth (T-minus 8 weeks) of our first child. no heartbreak of any distant memory, whether failed relationship, broken friendship, or even the deaths i've known, can come close to tainting the joy i feel today. in fact, i would actually say i appreciate so much more what i have now because of the pain of my experiences.

prayers,
Papa

[Farsight one]

Its almost like you're talking about my life, except that she's not my ex(but she is a very good friend), and all the guys she goes for are creeps. So, I sort of know how you feel.

I don't know if you watch Futurama, but I draw a personal analogy to Fry and Leela.

[SJP]

Al,

You have to ask yourself if you want to be with this girl.

If the answer is yes, this is what you have to do.

Spill your guts! Tell her exactly how you feel, get on the plane and then be prepared to come home early! You know what they say about time and distance

I know that Ember days were once used to predict the weather, but consider this to be an Ember day relationship prediction!

Prayers!

Oh, and by the way, this would make one heck of a cliffhanger!

Edited December 22, 2007 by SJP

[CrossCuT]

[size=1]Believe me when I say I know how you feel.
I didnt go through the exact same thing, but the emotions were the same only the situation was in reverse.
I had a best friend who ditched me for her boyfriend.

But what I find very helpful is bruning down their house...but you seem much nicer than I in this situation.

But if you want me to burn anyones house down, Ill be glad to do it for a fellow suffering soul!
[/size]

[Rosemary's Goddaughter]

I'm sorry. You most likely don't need my sympathy or whatever, since there are three pages full of other people's sympathy, but I still thought I ought to reply and say that I'm sorry.

I read somewhere a long time ago (I really can't remember where, it bugs me now!) that unrequited love, and heartbreak, are the essence of Christian suffering, of who Christ was and what He went through. Not that it will make you feel better, of course, but keep that in mind.

Peace be with you.

[ardillacid]

[quote name='Aloysius' post='1437429' date='Dec 22 2007, 01:16 AM']but again, I refuse to just cut her out of my life or whatever. don't tell me I'm just torturing myself, I'm doing far more than that, I'm salvaging all that is good about the last 2-3 years of my life. it's all good.[/quote]
You only have 2-3 years left to live? I wish I knew the roundabout day of my death.