Religious Vocation

[Didacus]

My vocation is to be a father. I had to come to grips with that somewhat, because I still, at times, have desire to become a priest.

[Deb]

I would love to be a nun. I seem to have passed the age of acceptability though so will just wait and pray and see what the Lord wants me to do.

No Fear!

Edited January 4, 2008 by Deb

[friendofJPII]

[quote name='Spamity Calamity' post='1441636' date='Jan 3 2008, 03:29 PM']I feel that this is the heart of your issue. You need to explore why you feel this way and why this is such a issue to you.[/quote]


Well, from a worldy perspective being a sister (or any consecrated person) is just weird. And my prideful self does not want to be looked upon as wierd, I want to be perceived as normal. (Although anyone who follows the Lord these days will be considered a freak, regardless of vocation). And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling. I do feel a certain disdain for the life, and that concerns me, because as a good Catholic I shouldn't. That's one issue that I wonder about, we are called to supress our wills and mortify our senses, but where in the process to we lose ourselves? I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 5 2008, 12:20 AM']And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling.[/quote]

No religious worth his or her salt would ever suppress their will and true desires.

St Thomas Aquinas wrote that all human beings have one burning desire - to know and be close to God. All our other desires are manifestations (sometimes very distorted manifestations, but manifestations nonetheless) of that desire. In one of his sermons, my priest told us not to try and drag our thoughts back to 'holy things', but to sit with whatever happens to be in our heads and let God be with us just as we are.

I tried this advice, tentatively, in one Mass when I was too hot and hungry to pay attention, and I kept thinking about what I would have for breakfast afterwards and wondering if I could move to a cooler seat after Communion. Rather than valiantly trying to push these earthly desires aside and meditate on the prayers, I shared all this with God.

I can't really describe the result, but ever since that moment I have known that Father's advice was sound and that St Thomas was spot on.

It can be applied to much bigger things, too. I read an interview with a young monk from Downside Abbey in England, who was asked by the journalist about how he felt about his life of celibacy. The monk replied, "It's a loss, and you have to grieve for that."

He did speak about fulfilment, yes, but he emphasised that such fulfilment doesn't come about through prayerful ecstasy and gleeful cries of, "I renounce the world!" It can't eradicate our very human needs and wants - it's not supposed to. To be really fulfilled you have to embrace the reality, which includes understanding that grief in monastic life is legitimate. It's about learning to live with who you are, not trying to create a shiny new saintly persona.

As for the habits, the sisters I know assure me that they are quite comfortable. I have spent most of my life in the Middle East, where searing temperatures and long flowing cloaks with headcoverings are the norm, and I know from experience that long clothes can be cool if they're made from the right fabric. When the temperature is at 48 degrees Celsius, it is much more pleasant to be in a long, floaty cotton robe with a lightweight scarf on your head than it is to be in shorts and a T-shirt. You would be a boiled lobster within seconds.

Edited January 4, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 5 2008, 12:20 AM']I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

It's not normal. I have met a few nuns who fit that description. I can remember talking about one particular community with my priest, and he wrinkled his nose and said, "They [i]smile[/i] too much." I knew exactly what he meant. Early on in my discernment I talked to one of these sisters, and I felt as though I was talking to an automaton with pre-programmed answers. It's all [i]wonderful[/i], such a [i]blessing[/i] to give up [i]everything[/i], a real [i]gift[/i] of the [i]Holy Spirit[/i], and if you're really [i]called[/i] you won't have any problems.

In her defence, this sister was a young novice - I have never heard older nuns speak in platitudes, presumably because they've got years of prayer and experience behind them. I've certainly never heard an older nun say that no one with a true vocation has problems in the religious life. Nuns are surprisingly ordinary people, although there is a tendency to romanticise their lives to the point where authenticity is determined by how 'traditional' (read picturesque-looking) their habits are and whether they take pretty titles after their religious names. Don't let this blind you.

I suggest that you visit a convent or monastery to see for yourself. Not somewhere big and famous, like the SMME or the Nashville Dominicans, where you will be one of many visitors. Pray for guidance and go alone to a little place that you've never heard much about. I'm not saying that you should start discerning religious life, just that you should see more of it, as it is dangerous to your prayer if you hold any vocation in disdain.

Edited January 4, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[Dismas]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 4 2008, 06:20 PM']I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

Hmm. That doesn't sound good. I'd only expect that kind of reaction from "Centering Prayer" types.

[Adrestia]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 4 2008, 05:20 PM']Well, from a worldy perspective being a sister (or any consecrated person) is just weird. And my prideful self does not want to be looked upon as wierd, I want to be perceived as normal. (Although anyone who follows the Lord these days will be considered a freak, regardless of vocation). And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling. I do feel a certain disdain for the life, and that concerns me, because as a good Catholic I shouldn't. That's one issue that I wonder about, we are called to supress our wills and mortify our senses, but where in the process to we lose ourselves? I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

All vocations require an amount of self-sacrifice. Most working parents keep to a strict schedule.
A Pentecostal friend of mine recently asked me if I had considered become a nun. When I replied yes he was completely taken aback. He then asked, "Isn't that life hard?"
My reply: "And marriage is easy? What's the divorce rate again?"

My cloistered friend's community has a blog. I think you will find that they are quite normal.
[url="http://monialesop.blogspot.com/"]http://monialesop.blogspot.com/[/url]

I also recommend this site... it has my favorite funny story about cloistered life.
[url="http://www.cloisteredlife.com/benedictines.htm"]http://www.cloisteredlife.com/benedictines.htm[/url]

[gamesfanatic04]

I was fully expecting to enter the Southern Dominicans after college until I met a sweet girl that needed to find God and love at the same time. It was kind of hard reconciling all this prep work I had done for becoming a monk with a new eye toward marriage but I just have to trust what I am doing is right.

[johnnydigit]

every Catholic is called to seriously discern religious life, but too few are brave enough to do it. they just write it off without knowing a thing about it. let's pray for those who should have had a vocation but ignored it..

[Lounge Daddy]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1442675' date='Jan 6 2008, 10:58 AM']every Catholic is called to seriously discern religious life, but too few are brave enough to do it. they just write it off without knowing a thing about it. let's pray for those who should have had a vocation but ignored it..[/quote]
Word.

[Deb]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1442133' date='Jan 4 2008, 06:20 PM']Well, from a worldy perspective being a sister (or any consecrated person) is just weird. And my prideful self does not want to be looked upon as wierd, I want to be perceived as normal. (Although anyone who follows the Lord these days will be considered a freak, regardless of vocation). And in [i]authentic[/i] religious life, you have to dress a certain way (aren't they hot in those habits?), keep to a strict schedule and supress your will and true desires in order to live out the vow of obedience. It seems rather stifling. I do feel a certain disdain for the life, and that concerns me, because as a good Catholic I shouldn't. That's one issue that I wonder about, we are called to supress our wills and mortify our senses, but where in the process to we lose ourselves? I remember some people at FUS walked around and they just didn't seem real. Like you could have told them that their entire family burned to death in a fire and they would just say, "Okay, if that's God's will," with a big placid smile. That just doesn't seem normal to me.[/quote]

This is not meant to be hurtful but, the Lord may not be asking you to become a nun. If Christ is truly in your heart and you surrender yourself to God, you are giving up your will, you are giving up your desires. We are all called on this earth to do God's will. You come into this world with nothing and you will leave with nothing. In between, it is what you do for God that will determine where you will be for eternity. What you wear, own or where you live are just attachments. They do not define your inner being.
For me, it wasn't until I realized that I had no control over anything in my life and agreed to "lose" myself, that I found happiness.
Like I said before, it came too late for me to become a nun but, I will gladly give every remaining minute of my life to God's will.
God may have other plans for you for now but, if you hear him calling, make sure to listen.

[Mari Therese]

I answered: I think I do (or I am already in) relgious life but I was scared at first

I was spent months and months telling God that I would do anything EXCEPT be a nun for Him when the idea first came into my heart after praying for months for some guidance in my life. When I started this whole discernment journey, I had promised God that I would be open. Even though the idea of religious life scared me, I was still open enough to go and visit a few convents. I am so glad that I did. I have met many wonderful sisters that have helped me to grow and mature in holiness. I still feel a strong tug on my heart towards religious life. I'll be happy to do whatever God wills for my life because I know that His plan will bring me more joy, peace, and happiness than anything that I could ever imagine. All vocations require sacrafice, but the sacrafice does not compare to what we'll gain in heaven as saints. Jesus is not outdone in generosity. Abandon yourself to God's will because you'll never, never regret it!!!

[beata_virgo_maria]

I think any vocation isn't going to be easy. I think I'll just be happy to do whatever God wants me to do, whatever it is.

[ovenbird03]

No vocation is meant to be easy. Every vocation is God calling a person to embrace the cross, just in different ways. The cross involves sacrifice of everything- our will, our wishes, our dreams, our control over our own lives. Since every vocation involves sacrifice and suffering, it is only natural for joy to be mixed with trepidation. Life is hard, no matter how God is calling you to live it, but by Grace we will persevere!

[Pontifite 7 of 10]

There needs to be a choice for someone who has no idea what he wants to do.

[Alycin]

[quote name='Pontifite 7 of 10' post='1445760' date='Jan 14 2008, 07:24 PM']There needs to be a choice for someone who has no idea what he wants to do.[/quote]

Vocations aren't necessarily about what a person wants, but rather, what God wants from the person.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Dismas' post='1440834' date='Dec 31 2007, 11:55 PM']In the bottom of my heart, I know I am called to be a friar priest.

I'm selfish, cruel, craven, lazy and arrogant. I am dissolute, envious, licentious, and crude. I lack compassion, honesty, and motivation. I am a bitter, shiftless, curmudgeon. I am wholly lacking in temperance and chastity. One could say that I have the morality of a cat. I am a wreck of a man.

And then, when I am alone at night, I ask, "Why me, Lord? I'm the worst person I know! The last thing this Church needs is someone like me in authority!" I know the answer, of course, but it doesn't make it easier to accept.

My grandfather on my mom's side has been telling me for some time that I always had the priesthood in me. I have been approached by total strangers while at Holy Hill asking if I was a priest to bless their rosaries. Even other priests have reacted to me as if I were one. At unguarded moments I have spoken of joining the priesthood even before my reversion.

Yet this is completely not what I had in mind for myself. I was the one who yearned to settle down and have a big family from the beginning. I had my career planned out ahead of me. Oh, and I am quite aware that I am the last chance to carry on the family name.

But all that doesn't matter. I have no peace within the world, and I know it. Ten thousand evils a day stream about me, most of which are seriously tempting, yet I know they are empty. I am so weak in my will, how can I be courageous as a priest when I am a coward today? I approach this new life with all the confidence in myself as a third string rookie quarterback taking to the field in overtime during the Superbowl. God help me!

God chooses a priest before he is even conceived, and that man must come to terms with that destiny. We read stories filled with great and terrible destinies; they fill our libraries. Yet kings, heroes, and wizards don't hold the living Son of God in their hands. They are not called to empty themselves out until there is nothing left, then empty some more. Kings, heroes, and wizards are not destined to crawling into an empty bed every night. Those fairytale heroes will not die alone and forgotten. And yet this is the destiny if all things go reasonably well, which I suspect they won't. I fear for the Church here and abroad, and I have a good idea of what we may be in for.

"Scared" is not the word. "Terrified out of my skull" does manage to approach it, however.[/quote]
Man, you're living the destiny now. Your tale will not go unread. You should write it! I guess every man has to face the battlefield at some point. Imagine the general hands you your sword and all of the sudden you're standing in ranks with many other men with different destinies... the general walks along clanking his sword agaisnt every man's then orders the charge. All men who were drafted were called to empty their lives out till nothing was left. Heck, many die alone in the battle. But in the end, the General's strategy was perfect. The war is won. Yes, a priest's tale may end of him climbing into a cold, empty bed at night, but that's not the worst of it. Even a married man/woman has to face that one day. Which will be harder?
Btw, the last statement you made was quite humourous. It did a good job of changing the solemn, adventurous tone (I don't know how else to describe the feeling of extacy I get when I think of those great tales of olde, like LotR, etc) of your post.
[quote name='Spamity Calamity' post='1441635' date='Jan 3 2008, 02:26 PM']Whoah...thats cool.[/quote]
I know, eh.

[quote name='Paddington' post='1441978' date='Jan 4 2008, 11:09 AM']I can't be a priest, because of epilepsy.[/quote]
Why do you say that? (I know what epilepsy is, btw)

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1442143' date='Jan 4 2008, 06:43 PM']...
As for the habits, the sisters I know assure me that they are quite comfortable. I have spent most of my life in the Middle East, where searing temperatures and long flowing cloaks with headcoverings are the norm, and I know from experience that long clothes can be cool if they're made from the right fabric. When the temperature is at 48 degrees Celsius, it is much more pleasant to be in a long, floaty cotton robe with a lightweight scarf on your head than it is to be in shorts and a T-shirt. You would be a boiled lobster within seconds.[/quote]
A bit off topic, but an intersting point you make about dress in hot hot temperatures. Wow... 48 Celsius... I guess I can see how long flowing robes can keep one cool. Probably how the wind catches in them... and all the shade it provides.

[Slappo]

I don't know what I'm supposed to be, and I'm scared as heck! Well... scared maybe not so much, but most definitely nervous.

I thought I'd either be a Carmelite Friar or married, so I visited the Carmelites to check them out and within two days I had a bad itching to leave... but no stronger call to the married life.

I think the best advice I got from some of the older 40+ year professed friars was that when God reveals your vocation to you, you will know it and have peace with it. Doesn't mean it won't be hard, or even scary, but you will know.

I look forward to knowing, but I'm scared that religious life might be the answer.

I really want a family

[Dismas]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1449501' date='Jan 22 2008, 09:34 PM']I don't know what I'm supposed to be, and I'm scared as heck! Well... scared maybe not so much, but most definitely nervous.

I thought I'd either be a Carmelite Friar or married, so I visited the Carmelites to check them out and within two days I had a bad itching to leave... but no stronger call to the married life.

I think the best advice I got from some of the older 40+ year professed friars was that when God reveals your vocation to you, you will know it and have peace with it. Doesn't mean it won't be hard, or even scary, but you will know.

I look forward to knowing, but I'm scared that religious life might be the answer.

I really want a family [/quote]
Not every Order is for every disposition or demeanor. Perhaps you are called to Religious life, however it may well be one of a wholly different spirituality than that of the Carmelites.

Also, you could be called to be a husband and father, in which case you are obligated to have enough children to make up for my celibacy.

[HotRod]

How about an option for those of us who never considered a vocation, and by the time they got serious about the Faith, they were already married? If by some horrible tragedy I find myself single, and without thew children to take care of, I would want to join a contemplative order and just pray all the time.