"such A Waste"

[29908]

When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste???


"You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste"

"That's a waste of good genes"

"Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?"


What do y'all tell people?

[Alycin]

The first two I wouldn't even validate with a response. Looks have NOTHING to do with people becoming Religious.

[29908]

Yeah... It's just near impossible to tell people youre even thinking about it...

[velveteenbunny]

I know the reaction you mean, and I'm right there with you wondering how best to deal with it. I'm pretty quiet with almost everyone about my discernment because I'm really in early stages (still!) but I have had these sorts of reactions from a few of the people I've told. Actually though, it's kind of nice to make people start to wonder why a smart, pretty, talented girl would have any desire to be a nun. I'm not sure it even really matters what you say: you've already challenged their (probably unconscious) notion that the religious life is only just for women who, really, had no other option!

[Starets]

I am ugly and don't wear genes so the first two questions do not apply to me.

I would disagree with it being a waste of a life. There are a couple things I keep in mind. First of all, that if someone wants to join in order to flee the world they will soon have to flee the monastery. It is not a flight from the world. It is a detatchment from the world in order to more fully embrace it on a spiritual level. Not only that, the hardest thing about monastic life is the fact that you are living and working with the same people 24x7. Just a couple points I thought I'd mention.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I usually say, "I don't consider it a waste to pop my comfortable bubble and gain the whole universe by doing so."

[Carolyn]

[quote name='Staretz' post='1471136' date='Feb 29 2008, 08:21 AM']I am ugly and don't wear genes so the first two questions do not apply to me.[/quote]



I know what you mean, though, 29908. I have gotten variations of all of these. I think people expect me to say, "Oh, I'm so silly. You're right." I have yet to come up with a response that doesn't lead to some other negative comment.

[Lil Red]

ask them what they're going to do with their life. and then respond, "oh, what a waste!" maybe they'll get the hint.

can you tell i'm all for the direct approach?

[CatherineM]

When one of my cousins entered a convent, my mom couldn't stop talking about what a waste it was. I think it really put up a wall for her when I approached her about wanting to enter as well. To say she freaked is an understatement.

[Gemma]

[quote name='29908' post='1471095' date='Feb 29 2008, 02:54 AM']When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste???
"You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste"

"That's a waste of good genes"

"Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?"
What do y'all tell people?[/quote]

Yawn, and tell them thanks for helping me get to sleep.

Blessings,
Gemma

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='29908' post='1471095' date='Feb 28 2008, 11:54 PM']When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste???
"You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste"

"That's a waste of good genes"

"Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?"
What do y'all tell people?[/quote]

hm off the top of my head let's see.. i'd pause for a moment..

"You are so pretty, ..would be such a waste"
-thanks! i prefer "handsome" though. *crickets*

"That's a waste of good genes"
-think so? (how about laboring for 50 years, complaining about breaking your back, not being satisfied with anything, then dying? any rebuttal can be countered, family - community, riches - no need of riches, fun - prayer, etc.

"Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?"
-i've found a happiness greater than anything else that the world could ever offer. think of the greatest time you've ever had in your entire life. how long did it last? seconds? minutes? God gives you happiness that lasts hours, days, months, and even years. it is like perpetual joy and peace. what do i mean? well have you ever read the Bible? ever feel like something was "missing" in life? ever ponder your purpose? the origin of life?

=======

i guess basically most people just deserve a quiet smile, a simple answer, or nothing at all. most simply don't understand and don't want to understand. some however, if you sense a genuine curiosity, you can talk about the kingdom of God, the grace of Jesus Christ, our sinful nature, our longing for something greater, and the beauty of prayer. basically lay the smack down on 'em!

[kafka]

Also consider these verses:

Sirach

{8:20} You should not hold counsel with the foolish. For they are not able to love anything except what pleases them.

{8:22} You should not reveal your heart to every man, lest perhaps he may offer a false kindness to you, and then speak reproachfully about you.

~be wary on who you share your thoughts and heart with

[puellapaschalis]

Yup, I've got the "Such a waste..." comments before.
Having as I do levels of self-esteem which are so low they could put the Marianas Trench to shame, I usually came out with something like, "Nah, you're mistaken, I'm ugly! Only God sees the beauty in me!"

[irishdancer]

the only person I've told is my priest and he smiled and said he wasn't surprised. He also suggested not to talk about it even with my family until I have a date and a place.

[the lords sheep]

I was talking to my spiritual director about this, as this is the position my mother holds.... She always says (of my 22 year old cousin who's a religious) "But she's so pretty and so intelligent... She could get married!!"
He just laughed and said, "Yes, because God only calls the horribly ugly and terribly stupid to the religious life! Oh, and they must be homosexual as well, because why else would they want to be a celibate!"
I must say, his tongue-in-cheek took me by surprise, because he tends to be on the serious side.

[DameAgnes]

When my cousin became a Capuchin one of the family elders tried to convince him not to do so: you're a handsome guy - the world could be your oyster.

He said, "the world WILL be my oyster when I'm doing what I'm called to do within it."

Then the family member said, "but it's an UNNATURAL LIFE!"

And he said, "you're right. It's supernatural."

For a while he was called "Fr. Whatawaste" by some in the family (I admired him; he never ever lost his serene sense).

Don't know if that helps at all.

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='the lords sheep' post='1471460' date='Feb 29 2008, 03:58 PM']"Yes, because God only calls the horribly ugly and terribly stupid to the religious life! Oh, and they must be homosexual as well, because why else would they want to be a celibate!"[/quote]

LOL. i'm surprised he didn't add "flamboyantly" before "homosexual".

[quote name='DameAgnes' post='1471562' date='Feb 29 2008, 06:28 PM']When my cousin became a Capuchin one of the family elders tried to convince him not to do so: you're a handsome guy - the world could be your oyster.[/quote]

ya that makes me sad as well - for them.. which in turn makes me sad.

when i see abnormally attractive religious, it makes me admire them and God even more. one in this situation often feels alone inside or outside the cloister..

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='29908' post='1471095' date='Feb 29 2008, 01:54 AM']When you tell people that you are considering becoming some type of religious, do they ever tell you it will be such a waste???


"You are so pretty, becoming a nun would be such a waste"

"That's a waste of good genes"

"Why would you want to do that with your life and waste it?"


What do y'all tell people?[/quote]
By any chance, did men ask you these things? I guess women would say the same thing, but I'm just saying... maybe they're jealous? Take heart, though. There is nothing wrong with seeking a vocation that requires celebacy if you're quite "attractive". There is no "waste" of [attractive] genes (seems to be what they're getting at). Everyone is immensely beautiful when it comes to the beatific vision. In other words, wait till ya get to heaven... everyone is pure and perfected according to God's standards, not some human opinions.

[Alycin]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' post='1471611' date='Feb 29 2008, 10:06 PM']Everyone is immensely beautiful when it comes to the beatific vision. In other words, wait till ya get to heaven... everyone is pure and perfected according to God's standards, not some human opinions.[/quote]


awwwwwwww.

[jeffpugh]