Showing Affection In Front Of The Kids...

[CatherineM]

My parents went to separate beds when I was in high school. My dad had bad PTSD nightmares, and my mom kept waking up bruised. The final straw was when she woke up on the floor with him screaming "incoming." And people wonder how I ended up so warped.

[MissScripture]

My sister freaked out when my parents were staying in seperate rooms, because my mom was working nights, and my dad was sick, and then my mom got sick, so he stayed in the spare room. But no worries, they're in the same room, now!

[Brigid]

my parents aren't subtle at ALL. they flirt, hug, and kiss all the time in front of us. I don't mind. I like knowing that they're still totally in love with each other. I AM glad, though, that they restrict their kisses in front of kids to a second or two. any longer than that is gross.

[picchick]

I think that kids need to see the affection so that they know what is right and what is wrong. I don't know if that makes sense.

When they see parents showing affection they know how to show affection while still having respect for the other person. A spouses's love is different in that the affection is genuine and not selfish. Kids need to see that in a world where instant gratification is promoted.

[CatherineM]

I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1565680' date='Jun 9 2008, 09:42 PM']I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.[/quote]
Try having your future mother-in-law talking to you about how much you're going to enjoy make-up sex. Can you say awkward?

In my apt. last year, the girls I lived with had a joke. Our parents only had sex as many times as it took to make us and our siblings.

[knightec]

[quote name='Faith 1st' post='1564608' date='Jun 9 2008, 10:43 AM'][font="Comic Sans MS"]Knightec and I always discuss this....[/font]

[font="Comic Sans MS"]I think that the children should see us share a brief kiss of a pat here and there. My mom never did that stuff in front of us. I never saw her kiss my step dad or even play with him. I have had to work really hard and only now have I been able to show public affection to the love of my life......KNIGHTEC.

What do you think?[/font][/quote]

Thanks, but who are you again?

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1565680' date='Jun 10 2008, 03:42 AM']I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.[/quote]
With me it's my SIL - I know entirely too much about my older brother.

[MRSannie]

ok, siblings and bro or sis in laws need to keep it private!! Yuk!

We kiss and hug and flirt in front of our three teens~ mostly because we know it grosses them out (nothing serious, but even a peck on the cheek causes gag reflex) I think the 'gross out act' is all an ACT, and they are strengthened by knowing BY EVIDENCE that we have a good relationship. Also, it reminds them that THEY are not the center of this family (or the UNIVERSE for that matter)~ that our sacramental marriage is. Don't you think in today's child-centered society that little Winthorp could use a dose of reality that HE is not 'the source and summit of all love' in the family? Don't get me wrong, we love our kids totally, but wow, they aren't OUR REASON FOR BEING if you know what I mean.

[Justin86]

American society is hardly "child-centered". We abort I think a million babies a year, 1/3 of my generation is fatherless, and 50% of us come from divorced families. Forgive me if I don't see any "child centeredness" in our culture these days.

Anyway, I think it's good for the parents to show some affection to each other in front of the kids. I remember my parents kissing each other in front of me, and that never grossed me out. Probably because I knew those pecks on the cheek were also given to me anyway.

Flirting my parents never did in front of me actually. Maybe I'm weird but I always kind of associated that as rather kidish anyway.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Justin86' post='1566481' date='Jun 10 2008, 09:04 AM']American society is hardly "child-centered". We abort I think a million babies a year, 1/3 of my generation is fatherless, and 50% of us come from divorced families. Forgive me if I don't see any "child centeredness" in our culture these days.[/quote]


Perhaps you don't see it that way, but a lot of our culture is "child-centered" in that we are focused a lot on entertaining, amusing and spoiling our children. Camps, classes, programs, clubs, teams, etc... plus new gaming systems every year, toys, sports equipment, the latest, the greatest, bestest stuff, keep up with all the other kids. Stick up for your kid against all authority, "no one makes my kid upset" attitude, fib to get my kid into a class she's not old enough for.... It's a very child-center world.... (if you have kids)

However... it is not a culture of life. People cannot maintain that level of parenting (above) for more than 2.1 children (or whatever the birthrate is these days).

[XIX]

Depends how much affection we're talking about.

[IrishSalesian]

[quote name='picchick' post='1565187' date='Jun 9 2008, 06:52 PM']I think that kids need to see the affection so that they know what is right and what is wrong. I don't know if that makes sense.

When they see parents showing affection they know how to show affection while still having respect for the other person. A spouses's love is different in that the affection is genuine and not selfish. Kids need to see that in a world where instant gratification is promoted.[/quote]

I agree with this statement, I think it sums it all up.

[littleflower+JMJ]

I think parents need to let their kids know that marriage is not a "dead end" or "death sentence" to love like every tv show and society says it is.

[prose]

[quote name='picchick' post='1565187' date='Jun 9 2008, 04:52 PM']I think that kids need to see the affection so that they know what is right and what is wrong. I don't know if that makes sense.

When they see parents showing affection they know how to show affection while still having respect for the other person. A spouses's love is different in that the affection is genuine and not selfish. Kids need to see that in a world where instant gratification is promoted.[/quote]

Completely agree.

[Winchester]

[quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1564902' date='Jun 9 2008, 01:56 PM']Me and my wife jello wrestle while wearing nothing but hats and diapers in front of our kids. Is this wrong?[/quote]
Hey. That's my line. I do the borderline. You're the holy guy. Don't get things confused. If you forget, look at the avatars. Yours: the pope bending skyscrapes with his mind. Mine: fictional vulgar stoner.

[corban711]

i think that it is very important for kids to see their parents showing each other affection. they need to know that kissing, flirting, hugging, etc is not just something that is OK (in the sense that maybe it was barely permissable), but it is actually a very good, healthy and important part of their relationship.

i can't really say how many times ive heard the priests at my parish say that the parents are the first and primary educators of their children. kids need to see their parents showing affection and love for one another. it is part of a balanced, loving relationship and the children need that example of their parents showing them how to love, not just telling them.

[rckllnknny]

NO. it is gross. lol. jk.

[lanie]

I love the fact that my parents kiss and hug, flirt, play fight etc etc. My Mum often shouts downstairs to get my Dad to wash her back when she's in the bath. I think it's a very healthy thing to witness and to grow up with.

[Azriel]

It should be a requirement.