Spiritual Director?

[fiat2]

I am wondering about spiritual direction. I currently don't have a spiritual director and I am not sure wether I have a vocation or not and I am wondering how important it would be for me to get a spiritual director. If it is important than who should it be? A priest, or a religious, or a friend or parent? Prayers and your thoughts on the importance of spiritual direction would be appreciated!
(also, i am pretty shy when it comes to talking to people outside of my family and friends- especially when they are older than me, so i'm kinda afraid to get a spiritual director.)

[Noel's angel]

Spiritual direction is a wonderful thing, if you can get it.
I personally would go for a priest or nun. Parish priests are usually ultra busy and so you may have a tough time finding one who would be able to give you the time you need. If there are any religious communities near you, check them out. Also, I would go for an older person because they tend to have had more experience with life and have gained much wisdom. You need someone you can be open and honest with, and someone who will be open and honest with you.

With saying all that, my spiritual director is also my parish priest and I get to see him for 3 hours once a week, so that has worked well for me. There is no harm in asking. Some priests may not have the time or manner to be a good spiritual director, so don't worry if you get turned down a few times.
Also, if you get yourself a spiritual director and you find that they aren't being helpful, or you aren't able to be open with them, don't worry about asking someone else.

[Caramelonion]

I find having a spiritual director very helpful. Mine is not a nun, but has been through extensive training and at one time had the desire herself to enter religious life. She is able to look at things with "new eyes" and can point out things that I have overlooked. She also has a grounding effect on me as I can tend to pile things on and she will say "I think you have enough on your plate." I'm am so blessed to have her going down my journey with me.

[Maria Faustina]

Wow, thanks for asking this. I was just wondering the same thing yesterday. When asking and meeting with your spiritual director (if it were a priest), would Confession be appropriate for either of these things? I'm pretty sure my parents would not make the extra trips for me to see a priest.

[fiat2]

thanks for answering guys. I'm leaving my state for college in august, so would it be better just to wait until then do you think do get a spiritual director? also i mean how do you ask someone to be your spiritual director, just randomly go up to them and be like "hey can you do this for me?" haha, i don't have really good social skills.....

[Maria Faustina]

[quote name='fiat2' post='1585182' date='Jun 27 2008, 08:54 PM']thanks for answering guys. I'm leaving my state for college in august, so would it be better just to wait until then do you think do get a spiritual director? also i mean how do you ask someone to be your spiritual director, just randomly go up to them and be like "hey can you do this for me?" haha, i don't have really good social skills.....[/quote]


Can you read my mind??? Lol, I was hoping someone was going to ask about asking.

[Noel's angel]

Okay, I seem to have had it easy when it comes to this. Our relationship just evolved into spiritual direction.

Wait until you leave for college, because I don't see the point in building up a rapport with someone and then leaving.
As for asking....pray first. If you find someone you think may be suitable, pray. Also, take time to observe how they interact with people, make sure they are orthodox too. Don't jump in head first. I would go to Confession with them before you asked them too, because I do think it is good to have a spiritual director who will also be your regular confessor. I'm sure most people would be flattered to be asked. Afterall, you're basically saying 'I think you are a very holy and wise person and I would like you to help me become better'. The best way is to be honest. Tell them you have been thinking about spiritual direction for some time, and if they would be willing, you would like to have them as your director. The worst thing they can say is no. If they d say know, move one and find someone more suitable or someone with more time.

Edited June 28, 2008 by Noel's angel

[fiat2]

haha i can't read your mind Maria Faustina but we sure seem to have a lot in common!
thanks for the good advice Noels Angel.....that was pretty helpful. and thanks for the reminder to pray!

[johnnydigit]

spiritual director - absolutely necessary. for everyone, discerning or not, though every Catholic should discern properly at some point.

[DiscerningSoul]

I thank God that I have a saint for a SD!!! He is wonderful, hard to reach sometimes, but I tell you I am very thankful for him.
I personally think one should have a SD.

I keep my confessor and SD seperate.

[tnavarro61]

As I see in your situation, you need a spiritual director who will guide you. Most people cannot direct themselves. Everyone needs a spiritual director.

[puellapaschalis]

I'm very, very thankful for my SD - he makes an entire afternoon free for me once a month, and he's a priest with five parishes to look after.

I first had contact with him at a brotherhood (it sounds so sinister when translated into English!) meeting; he heard my confession after Mass and later on I impulsively (I'm like that) marched up to him and said:

PP: You're a priest!
Fr.: That's right.
PP: Will you be my spiritual director?
Fr.: I think that can be arranged. What's your name?

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='DiscerningSoul' post='1585390' date='Jun 27 2008, 09:22 PM']I keep my confessor and SD seperate.[/quote]

wouldn't it be better to confess to your SD so they can better understand where you are? i guess it depends on the type of guidance you seek..

[A Yearning Heart]

I don't have a sd, so please excuse the question. I was just thinking though, after reading these posts, what does a person talk about? and why does it last for hours or half a day?
I am seriously thinking of trying to get a sd.

[the lords sheep]

I have a spiritual director, but I only got one after a long while of really needing one (my pride is my downfall). It is such an immense blessing.
As to approaching, I asked one of my professors who is known as a spiritual director in my area. I explained that I had been discerning, and was in need of a spiritual director, and he was recommended. It was awkward, but he said, "well, lets see if it will work, and if it doesn't, there will be no hard feelings on my part."
As to finding one, you can ask local congregations (that you trust) to recommend an SD. The Sisters of Life recommended mine.
And my opinion, for the OP, is that it depends on how far your college is from your home. My school was 1000 miles away, so I only went home at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I found I needed one more at school than at home. Summer was a little long, but phone calls and emails sufficed.
In Jesus and Mary,
Lauren

[fiat2]

I'm going to go to college at Franciscan University of Steubenville, and I live in NH, so I will only be coming home for holiday/holyday vacations. thanks for all the great advice guys. more later....

[Sister Rose Therese]

I think If you can find a good spiritual director it would be great. They aren't always easy to find. Not all priests are very experienced in spiritual direction, and sometimes even though they are good directors they may be the right one for you personally. If you have questions or are in need of guidance you can go to your confessor.
If you are going to Steubenville, you should be able to find a priest who is trained as a spiritual director and who is used to working with young people.
Normally a session of spiritual direction wouldn't last much longer than an hour and most people meet with there spiritual directors about once a month. Priest especially don't have time to do much more than that.
When you get more in the practice of mental prayer, you would probably have more to talk about. If you are not already doing mental prayer, meditation, that might be something you should try to start. It is hard to really build your relationship with the Lord without that.

[puellapaschalis]

[quote name='A Yearning Heart' post='1585508' date='Jun 28 2008, 02:28 PM']I don't have a sd, so please excuse the question. I was just thinking though, after reading these posts, what does a person talk about? and why does it last for hours or half a day?
I am seriously thinking of trying to get a sd.[/quote]

At our first appt we introduced ourselves (and actually he talked about himself nearly - nearly, for I am a right chatterbox - as much as I did): introductions, talking about how we ended up where we are now. From then points just came up which we could both identify as being things that...well, if I say "I need to work on" it makes it sound like therapy, which it isn't.

It's more like he's a holy priest who seems to know the right questions to ask.

All I can do in return is keep him in my prayers every day, and send him a card each year on the anniversary of his priestly ordination

[DiscerningSoul]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1585483' date='Jun 28 2008, 06:32 AM']wouldn't it be better to confess to your SD so they can better understand where you are? i guess it depends on the type of guidance you seek..[/quote]

I love my SD, however sometimes its hard to get ahold of him, now that he isn't saying Mass at the churches I go to.

[Fr. Antony Maria OSB]

I had a spiritual director for the four years I was in high-school (just graduated), and now since I'm going off to college in another state my sd and I talked about ways to find a good sd, since I'm going to (hopefully) find another one at my college. The first thing my sd told me was make sure that he has a love of the Mass. My sd is a priest, and I'm going to try to find another priest for my second sd, so he was referring to saying Mass, but I'm sure the same would go for a nun or experienced lay person. After that he just told me to pray about it, that God would direct me, and to wait about a quarter or so to get a feel of who would make a good sd.

As to how I first met my sd, he was the student chaplain, so he would say Mass for the students everyday, and so one day after Mass I just asked him if we could talk after school and it went on from there. We talked about a wide range of things, to be honest: prayer life, different experiences I had, etc. I asked him once if our talks were spiritual direction and he said they were a mix between spiritual direction and pastoral counceling, so yeah. But I would definately say spiritual direction is essential: I know that my relationship with God would not be what it is today if it wasn't for my sd.

May God bless and protect you always in all of your endeavors, especially your discernment!

Your Brother in Christ,

Joe