Snaggle In My Vocation

[the lords sheep]

(continued from above)
My brother,
I also want to briefly comment on two quotes from you, not from a theological standpoint, but as a Sister in Christ.
The first,
[quote]As for my comment that the Pastor is a Psychologist. Well, I don't think that is bad necessarily, but I have come to realize (mostly from reading Catholic internet sites) that aside from Father Benedict, being a pyschologist can definitely soften one's commitment to the FAITH and can give people a "way out" for bad behavior. It focuses too much on emotional needs and not enough on spiritual. Just the facts.[/quote]
I'm not sure what facts you are referring to. Two of the holiest religious that I know, one a priest, the other a Sister, both have Doctorates in Psychology (priest = PhD, Sister = MD). Fr. Benedict is another great example. I know from them that there is no faith vs mental health as people, (some of them on Catholic websites) perceive. There are those that try to blend them where they should not be combined, this is true, but being mentally healthy and mature are necessary prerequisites to a deep spiritual life. Be careful about writing off things off as you have the mental health profession, and also use caution about presenting opinions as facts (as you seem to have done above).

[quote]obviously, I will immediately begin cutting off personal communication with members of the opposite sex,[/quote]
I do not, under any circumstances recommend ceasing to speak with or relate to women. To do so would impair you both as a minister and as a human being. Men need women, they need to see what it means for a holy woman to live out her feminine vocation in order to know how live out his vocation as man. JPII stressed this in both the TOB and his letter [url="http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_15081988_mulieris-dignitatem_en.html"]Mulieris Dignitatem[/url] when he spoke of the complementarity of the sexes.
Beyond this, as a priest or religious minister, you will be working constantly with women. Even if you are in the cloister, there is the possibility of hearing confession from women. You need to know how to interact with them and how to communicate with them so that you may serve them. If you are ever a parish priest, most of your parish council and boards will be women. Unless you are a formed human being-one who knows both temptation and compassion, the depths that sin can drive one into but also the heights of God's mercy- and also a mentally and spiritually mature man, able to work with all of God's children, both men and women, you will not be able to serve God's people.


On a side note, as a seminarian or member of a religious order, you will regularly meet with both a spiritual director and a psychologist as part of your formation. It is not a sign of weakness to meet with a counselor or psychologist in addition to meeting with your S;, it is admitting that you aren't perfect and that you are willing to do what it takes to improve yourself as a human being so that you will be a good priest or brother.

You will be in my prayers.
In the hearts of Jesus and Mary, your sister in Christ,
Lauren

[Maria]

I second (third?) the idea of studying the theology of the body. It will give you tools to live as a human being, sexuality included, in a wholesome way, which includes dealing with your temptations in a wholesome way.
As I read your posts I had a mental image of when, sometime during one of Christopher West's video presentations, he speaks of our sexuality twisted by sin (he's holding his arms crossed and twisted vertically against his chest), and says that, rather than repressing them, trying to keep the lid on the boiling pot, which is an endeavor bound to fail, we need to ask God to take our sexuality and straighten it out so that it truly reflects image of God stamped into our bodies at creation. As he's speaking, he untwists his arms and straightens them out, until they're in the position of Christ on the cross, because to live our sexuality as it was meant to be lived is to live the cross. It is to live sacrificially, giving a free, faithful, total and fruitful gift of oneself.

Because... what I see you doing is trying to live chastely and avoid anything impure. But I also see that you're trying to accomplish this by running away from temptation or pushing it away, while at the same time constantly thinking about the dangers of it and worrying about it. This isn't a very good way to go through life. The world recognizes this and says that, therefore, we should give in. There is, however, another option; that we recognize who God created us to be and how our sexuality is meant to fit into that, and ask God to redeem our broken, twisted sexuality so that it can be the life-giving thing of beauty He created it to be.

And yes, this applies to celibates just as much as it applies to married couples.

Edited July 20, 2008 by Maria

[RosaMystica]

Beatus,

I think it is so beautiful that a young man like yourself is gaurding his purity with all that he has. God bless you for that and I'm praying that you can be an example to many other young men in a world that emphasizes impurity.

I think that you've received a special grace and like the men in the parable, don't bury your graces into the ground, you must give the fruits of your graces to others. This is why I don't think it's wise to run away from women. You could be a guy that can teach young women who don't feel that their purity is worth much that their purity is in fact more valuable than anything this world has to offer. You have to be the bright light that shines for the whole world to see.

We read in Scripture that a few of Christ's closest friends were women, St. Mary Magdalen for example, and in imitation of Christ we all must try to help those who are spiritually ill. Don't you think that is why Christ spoke to the woman at the well? All his apostles thought that was pretty scandelous but what a difference it made in her life and in the lives of those whom she told her story of her encounter with Jesus.

I would like to mention that just because you are running away from temptation doesn't mean you'll be completely safe from it. Temptation will find you whether or not you've run away from it the first time or if you continually run away from it.
As soldiers of Christ we must face our temtations head on and triumph over them or else we won't get stronger. Because God is merciful and He loves us, He will give us all the graces necessary to fight the battle of temptations over impurity. Don't you think He knows how sinful and impure our world has become?

I think Maria wrote beautifully of how man and woman compliment each other and this goes for religious and non religious. This is another reason why I don't think it's wise to run away from the opposite sex. I know that the evil one is constantly putting us under trials and temptations but at the same time we have to learn to laugh in his face because just as St. Therese said, he's afraid even of a gaze of a child.

This may be a little on the extreme side but as I was reading your post you reminded me a little of Origen. I think he was deemed a heretic but he has some writings that the Church uses. Anyway, I think he was so overcome with the fear of sinning against purity that he castrated himself. I pray that you aren't has fearful of sexuality as he was. You have to understand that our sexuality is what makes us human. It doesn't mean that we have to follow our disordered desires but we have to let those desires humble us and remind us that we do need God's help and grace to overcome these temptations in order to become saints!!

I'm praying that you persevere through this trial.

[-I---Love]

Beatus,

I'll make my post short and to the point. I went through to a lesser extent of the idiocacy of what you are experiencing. Anyways, in short you are mostly correct and the Pastor and your father are mostly mistaken. #1 keep the faith and pray #2 all things will pass, even this ..one day you'll be on your own and won't have to deal w/ most of such croutons #3 practice humility and try to pick your battles ...pray for those who give you grief

remind your parents of real problems they could have with their teen, but instead they lucked out and have a well-behaved upright son.