Autumn Dusk Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 So, I'm finally out on my own, real job, real apt, real life sort of thing. I think my parents used to me crying for home as I did in college...but I'm not, I'm actually really happy and content where I live. Anyway, my parents want to come visit in about a month. I told them I'd be home for thanksgiving but they still want to visit. My apt is small and not really set up for visitors. I know as much to keep my dirty underware off the floor but otherwise I have no idea what to do with them. I'm setting up a tour at a local brewery for my dad, but my mom won't enjoy that and I need something "for her" or maybe not. I don't know. What in the world do adults do with their parents? Play scrabble? scratch that, my dad would just spell words related to bodily functions.... For the first time since I started college I'm o.k. being away from my parents. I want to see them but in other ways I like my life the way it is, with the friends I have and the work I do. I don't want them to interrupt it, if even for a weekend. I know I'm lucky to have parents who care so much...and this is a dumb problem to have...but what in the world can I do with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 You can basically do the same things you would do with them if you were a kid, just with you paying your way this time. Taking them out to eat is always good if you want to talk. Taking them to a movie is good if you are trying to avoid conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted July 26, 2008 Author Share Posted July 26, 2008 i dunno what to do with the both of them tho, with three brothers just me, mom & dad time was almost a never happening sort of thing. I can talk for hours with my mom, but not really with my dad. I almost feel like I need to split myself. Plus, again, I'm used to my brothers being around when I'm with them.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I can understand. When my parents are here my dad usually has to work some (phone conferences and the like). My mom and I talk or play Scrabble. Then we usually all go out for a meal, or walk around the city some. My dad really likes to drive out into the countryside around us, so sometimes he and my mom will do that (with or without my husband & me). You could always have tea or something with your mom while your dad is on the brewery tour, and then have dinner or a movie with both of them afterwards, perhaps. Are there any games you all like? Card games, maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 When I was dealing with my mom coming to visit me for the first time, I asked an older woman at church what kinds of things she liked to do, and she introduced me to some shops and other places. My mom didn't come with my dad, she came with two of her female friends. I spent the week with 3 giggly 50-60 year old women flirting with waiters. My first suggestion, is have them stay at a hotel if at all possible. If they stay with you, it will invade your space, and you will still be the child in the house instead of an adult with your own place. That really works for my family. If things get intense or close, there is a safe zone for them to retreat to. My dad told me something about standing inspections in the Army. You have to have everything perfect, and then mess one or two little things up. You have to give the inspectors something to comment on, so they can get it over with. I had my house immaculate, but put out mismatched bath towels. It gave my mom something to raz me about, and by the end of the week, she had bought me new towels. She was happy being able to find something wrong, and I loved my new towels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1609292' date='Jul 26 2008, 04:44 PM']My dad told me something about standing inspections in the Army. You have to have everything perfect, and then mess one or two little things up. You have to give the inspectors something to comment on, so they can get it over with. I had my house immaculate, but put out mismatched bath towels. It gave my mom something to raz me about, and by the end of the week, she had bought me new towels. She was happy being able to find something wrong, and I loved my new towels.[/quote] Haha, I love that!!! I am definitely going to keep that in mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted July 26, 2008 Author Share Posted July 26, 2008 mismached bath towels? geesh...i barley have my apartment together. I have one chair and lamp in my living room, my kitchen table is wobbly. I have no bedroom door and my bathroom has no towel hooks and no spot for towel hooks besides the back of the door. (its that tiny). Fact is my apartment is what my dad (not so much my mom) would consider crappy. But I LOOOVE it. The landlord hasn't kept up the outside of the building as they promised, and I don't care one bit, but my parents do. They will stay in a hotel simply because there's not really room to nicely accomidate them. I would if I could, but its pretty much impossible. I don't even have a couch so I'd need to get a blow-up mattress and it'd be a big hassel. I love my life the way it is. And as much as I love my parents (and they love me), I feel as if they really aren't ready to see how I live. Especally my dad. He already has lectured me about things that I can't change about my apartment. My dad and I are most alike, set in our ways, impatient and ADD with excessive traits of ADHD. So many times we don't get along. His worry is also excessive sometimes, wich makes it impossible for me to assert my independence. We both love eachother but we fight playfully at first and then to the point where feelings get hurt....we just can't stop. My mom's set on the hope that now we're not under the same roof it will be better...but I see it as no different than when I was in college. I kinda wish just my mom was coming. Originally, thats who it was supposed to be...but my dad misses me and wants to come, too. And my mom is nervous about driving so I don't want to tell her that my dad can't come. Maybe I'll leave him at the brewery... haha... I just don't want my perfect little life I've made disturbed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilac_angel Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 (edited) [quote name='Autumn Dusk' post='1609248' date='Jul 26 2008, 01:33 PM']I'm setting up a tour at a local brewery for my dad, but my mom won't enjoy that and I need something "for her" or maybe not. I don't know. What in the world do adults do with their parents?[/quote] Mini golf? A lightweight nature hike or walk on one of those nature trails? That way, you're doing stuff, getting some fresh air, can talk, but aren't obligated to always be paying straight attention to them. Plus, that's what my parents would probably want to do. Edited July 26, 2008 by lilac_angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Autumn, if you had ever met my mom, you'd understand about the mismatched towels. I was also much older, had a well paying job, and had just bought my first house. Totally different situations. I seriously understand about you not wanting your world invaded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 the well paying job....oi...not so much here the government takes out so much in taxes, SSI and such...it makes my actual wages I recieve so much less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I like mini golf idea. My suggestion is just like Catherine said, make the apartment as prefect as possible. Lack of furniture and whatnot does not make an apartment. Just clean it up a bit, make sure the fridge is neat and you're set. What if you took your mom out shopping even if it wasn't to buy anything? My family would play card games at get togethers. That might be cool too...if it gets rainy. Maybe show them around your town. Take them of a tour or whatnot. Show them how happy you are to live where you are Prayers for you Meg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Go grocery shopping. If my grown daughter were to take me grocery shopping, I would, you know... probably buy her groceries... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 lol. My fridge is neat becuase it can't be messy....well I suppose it could. I have a bottle of juice, ketchup, mustard, jam and salad dressing. Alas...my life is quite sad But I like the mini-golf idea...that'd be fun. Or hiking...especially since the trees will be gorgous in a month or so. The lack of furniture makes it look more pathetic than anything else. It will be nice for them to meet my neighbors... I can't really treat them to anything but I do suppose my dad wouldn't go for that anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 lol thanks HS mom. My diet has been of lentils, rice, past and ramen. I LOVE ramen. I have since I was a kid. I don't really want for anything, but I wouldn't be opposed to boneless hot wings appearing in my frige Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I think if you showed how happy you are in your new place they will see that even if they mention imperfections here or there Meg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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