My Vocation Story

[Carmeliteheart726]

I just started discerning about a year ago, and my first discernment ended after I couldn't really imagine myself as a sister. But before my discernment ended, Jesus gave me a wonderful friend who is a candidate for the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in St. Louis. It was through her about 2 months later, that Jesus said, "Try a little harder." Well, needless to say, that left me very confused. I thought I had it all figured out. I was going to be a veterinarian! I was debating about whether to get married, or stay single. Jesus then told me there was another vocation to consider.

I went to Adoration and pleaded with Him to give me a sign that this was truly what He wanted from me. Religious life, to me, at that time, was a nightmare. I couldn't imagine myself as a nun/sister, and I was convinced that I was wrong for even thinking I had a vocation. About 2 weeks later, I went back to Adoration, and asked again for His help. I prayed fervently to the Holy Spirit. A little while later, I felt completely calmed of all my fears. I remembered the passage in the Bible that said, "Come to me and find rest. Take my yoke upon you for my yoke is easy and my burden light." I just almost burst into tears at that moment, but I restrained myself for fear of what the other people in the chapel would think. I decided, within the course of a month, to end my regular studies, and enter a short vocational program so I could work for a while and pay off my debts. I was blessed to get everything in order before I left to go visit the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus with my friend.

I went to a vocation retreat there and found myself confused and almost convinced that I didn't have a vocation at all. But I was wrong! I didn't have a vocation with those particular sisters! Christ is calling me to the cloister! My friend will tell you that both she and I were adamant that we were not called to the cloister. I greatly desired it, but didn't feel I could do it for fear I would miss my family too much. It was a huge shock to both of us when I found out the place I was called was the place that I feared the most, in the beginning.

I believe I am called to the Discalced Carmelites, most of all. I just recently started looking at the Carmelites of the Ancient Observance, but after reading some information that one of the monasteries sent me (the Carmel of Mary in Wahpeton, ND), I did not feel called to the O.Carm. order. I feel I am destined to be an O.C.D. I also looked at the Poor Clares and Poor Clare-Collettines for a while. I was really interested in the PCPA's (Mother Angelica's nuns), the Poor Clares of Roswell, NM, and the Poor Clares of Belleville, IL. Roswell's order is my most favorite and I would probably end up there if I was called to the Poor Clares.

As for the Discalced Carmelites, I am most interested in the Arlington, TX Carmel. Mother Maria sent me a bunch of literature, and while reading, I found myself crying tears of joy! The nuns there are so beautiful and full of Christ's love. In the pictures, every single nun was smiling genuinely. I prayed about it and I am planning to make a visit in about 3-4 months, after I get a job, that is. I want to visit the Terre Haute, Alhambra, and Buffalo Carmels as well. There are some in England (Sheffield and Wolverhampton) that I would like to visit, and I also want to visit one in Ireland when I go for the first time (whenever that may be).

[she_who_is_not]

Thanks for sharing your story! I think the call to Carmel is so beautiful!! You are in good company here on VS. I believe we have quite a few discerners to Carmel here.
God bless!

[Mari Therese]

The call to Carmel is such a beautiful vocation. Thank you for sharing your story, it is very encouraging for all of us on the VS. I wanted to be a vet aswell, but God has other plans. It was hard at first to give up [b]my[/b] dreams and plans for my life, but God has shown me that His way is truly what my heart desires.

[alicemary]

Always put your trust in Jesus, and know that He will always guide you. Stay open to the promptings of the Spirit and enjoy this time. Develop your prayer life, find some time each day to spend with Jesus. You have to visit the different places and hopefully, eventually make a live in there. Never feel any pressure by any of the sisters, take your time and get to know them first. You have plenty of time, so slow down, and explore some more.

[TotusTuusMaria]

That is such a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing! God is so good. I am so happy to see you can post ().

I know you'll find a lot of support here. I hope you receive as much help and support here in discerning your vocation as I have from Vocation Station. God bless you!!!

[Brigid]

ah, amazing! thanks for sharing!! He is so good.

[tinytherese]

Yay a potential O.C.D. (who doesn't have the mental disorder.) If I were to become a cloistered nun I'd want to be a discalced carmelite. Be sure to read up on the lives of the carmelite saints. The Story of a Soul is amazing! You can also find clips from the mini series on the life of St. Teresa de los Andes on youtube.

[chesterton]

Wonderful story! Have you tried the OCD's in St. Louis? I discerned there for awhile (but am actually, God-willing going the PCPAs), and loved them. They are beautiful and are praying for new vocations. Have you visited OLAM?

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1687812' date='Oct 28 2008, 01:08 AM']Yay a potential O.C.D. (who doesn't have the mental disorder.) If I were to become a cloistered nun I'd want to be a discalced carmelite. Be sure to read up on the lives of the carmelite saints. The Story of a Soul is amazing! You can also find clips from the mini series on the life of St. Teresa de los Andes on youtube.[/quote]


I just got finished reading "Story of a Soul" last week! It was breathtaking! I love St. Therese so much. She is my big sister. I know she has given me roses a few times when I've asked for them. I want to read Pauline's "Last Conversations." Right now, I am trying to read "The Way of Perfection" by St. Teresa of Avila. I am hoping to read "He is My Heaven" by Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity as well. If St. Teresa of the Andes has any books, I will read those as well. She is so beautiful! I love her picture of her holding the crucifix to her heart.

[img]http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp178/carmeliteheart726/andes1.jpg[/img]

[img]http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp178/carmeliteheart726/teresa_of_jesus.jpg[/img]

[Lilllabettt]

I find Saints always have the most beautiful eyes.

[tinytherese]

There are some St. Teresa of the Andes books.

[url="http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html"]http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html[/url]

[TradMom]

+Praised be Jesus Christ!

Thank you for your open sharing about your journey. We all take delight in your wanting to give your ALL to Jesus. It sounds like you have really done your homework and research, and I believe firmly God will reward you with placing you in the right place.

I promise you that you will be in my prayers, the prayers of our family and I will ask my daughters in monastic life to pray for you as well. I know "my Carmelite" will be most excited a new daughter of St. Teresa might soon be joining the ranks.

I can't offer you any advice because you appear so solid and well grounded, but I can certainly assure you of prayers and support. May our dear Lord and Blessed Savior grant you every mercy and delight so that nothing stands in your way.

I am sure the Nuns in Texas would be only too happy to welcome you...may Our Lady of Mt. Carmel hide you tightly within Her mantle until you reach your "home."

TradMom

[Nunsense]

Well, Carmeliteheart72 -- I think that the Carmelite vocation is a bit like a virus - once you have it, you have it for life !

As some of you know, I spent eight months in Carmel in England, and thought that I was called to a more eremitic life, so left to discern this calling. During this time, I was inspired by Rosalind Moss to try her new community, but still needed more time in prayer, so then went on to the Hermits of Bethlehem for two months, during which time, I learned that I am not called to be a hermit (although the solitude was lovely, and so was having the Blessed Sacrament in the hermitage)!

Father Romano, the Desert Father there, told me that he had very little success with ex-Carmelites at Bethlehem, because they all seemed to have such a strong call to Carmel (the "virus") and they always ended up leaving the hermits. I remember telling him that this would not happen to me, that I was sure I had "gotten Carmel out of my system"!

Well, yup, you guessed it. God always has a good laugh when we make our own plans. I am so glad that I have had this time back in the world, and also with both Ros' community and the hermits - I have learned so much and met so many wonderful people. And now I am working as a housemother in a Catholic anti-abortion shelter for pregnant teens, and it is another wonderful experience.

BUT, God does have His own way of doing things. Through a series of unusual encounters with complete strangers, I ended up contacting some Carmelites in Edmonton, Canada, and next week I am doing to do a live-in with them for six days! They are a very traditional community and have no web site or email, but I have spoken with the Prioress several times on the phone, and am very excited about going to meet them.

My spiritual director, who was also my confessor when I was a hermit, has told me that he feels sure I am called to return to Carmel, and that prayer is my vocation, so it was nice to have this reaffirmed for me.

The most important thing I have learned is to trust God in all things - even when it seems like nothing makes sense at all! I will pray for your discernment Carmeliteheart72. Praise God for another vocation!

[Saint Therese]

Two great books are [i]God the Joy of My Life[/i], by St. Teresa of the Andes, and a collection of her Letters.

Edited October 30, 2008 by Saint Therese

[Nunsense]

A great read for Carmelite lovers is The Science of the Cross (about the spirituality of St John of the Cross) by Edith Stein (St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross). A book about a Carmelite saint, by a Carmelite saint!!

[url="http://www.amazon.com/Science-Cross-Stein-Edith-Collected/dp/0935216316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225370986&sr=1-1"]Science of the Cross[/url]

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1689070' date='Oct 30 2008, 01:13 AM']Well, Carmeliteheart72 -- I think that the Carmelite vocation is a bit like a virus - once you have it, you have it for life !

As some of you know, I spent eight months in Carmel in England, and thought that I was called to a more eremitic life, so left to discern this calling. During this time, I was inspired by Rosalind Moss to try her new community, but still needed more time in prayer, so then went on to the Hermits of Bethlehem for two months, during which time, I learned that I am not called to be a hermit (although the solitude was lovely, and so was having the Blessed Sacrament in the hermitage)!

Father Romano, the Desert Father there, told me that he had very little success with ex-Carmelites at Bethlehem, because they all seemed to have such a strong call to Carmel (the "virus") and they always ended up leaving the hermits. I remember telling him that this would not happen to me, that I was sure I had "gotten Carmel out of my system"!

Well, yup, you guessed it. God always has a good laugh when we make our own plans. I am so glad that I have had this time back in the world, and also with both Ros' community and the hermits - I have learned so much and met so many wonderful people. And now I am working as a housemother in a Catholic anti-abortion shelter for pregnant teens, and it is another wonderful experience.

BUT, God does have His own way of doing things. Through a series of unusual encounters with complete strangers, I ended up contacting some Carmelites in Edmonton, Canada, and next week I am doing to do a live-in with them for six days! They are a very traditional community and have no web site or email, but I have spoken with the Prioress several times on the phone, and am very excited about going to meet them.

My spiritual director, who was also my confessor when I was a hermit, has told me that he feels sure I am called to return to Carmel, and that prayer is my vocation, so it was nice to have this reaffirmed for me.

The most important thing I have learned is to trust God in all things - even when it seems like nothing makes sense at all! I will pray for your discernment Carmeliteheart72. Praise God for another vocation! [/quote]

LOL, that's so true about the Carmelite life being like a virus (a GOOD virus!)!!! Through the many communities I have checked out, thinking that maybe I was being silly in only attaching myself to one order, I have been wrong many times. I keep going back to the Carmelites. The Discalced Carmelites, are for sure, where I am getting the most attraction from. So much so, that I can't imagine living any other way! In fact, if I could go right now, you wouldn't see me for dust, LOL. What is it about the Carmelites that attracts us so? I think for me, it's because Carmel is all Mary's and Mary is my Mother. She is my Mama! I love her so very much

I will pray for your vocation! I hope you have a wonderful time in Edmonton. As for me, I am strongly considering Valparaiso, NE and Arlington, TX. Valparaiso is really traditional, but they are not members of the SSPX, like most traditional communities. They receive Mass often from the Fraternity of St. Peter, which I think is really cool. PJPII was my favorite pope. It would be amazing to meet the young men in the fraternity. I hope God blesses them with many vocations!

God bless you!

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='TradMom' post='1689062' date='Oct 30 2008, 12:59 AM']+Praised be Jesus Christ!

Thank you for your open sharing about your journey. We all take delight in your wanting to give your ALL to Jesus. It sounds like you have really done your homework and research, and I believe firmly God will reward you with placing you in the right place.

I promise you that you will be in my prayers, the prayers of our family and I will ask my daughters in monastic life to pray for you as well. I know "my Carmelite" will be most excited a new daughter of St. Teresa might soon be joining the ranks.

I can't offer you any advice because you appear so solid and well grounded, but I can certainly assure you of prayers and support. May our dear Lord and Blessed Savior grant you every mercy and delight so that nothing stands in your way.

I am sure the Nuns in Texas would be only too happy to welcome you...may Our Lady of Mt. Carmel hide you tightly within Her mantle until you reach your "home."

TradMom[/quote]

You are too sweet, TradMom! Thanks for the compliments. I have a great spiritual guide in St. Therese. She is my big sister! I love her so much. I appreciate your prayers and support. May God bless you. You will be in my prayers too. Much love!

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1689079' date='Oct 30 2008, 01:23 AM']Two great books are [i]God the Joy of My Life[/i], by St. Teresa of the Andes, and a collection of her Letters.[/quote]

I will try to find that book. I think St. Teresa of the Andes writes beautifully from the quotes I have heard. I especially like this one:

[quote]"Christ, so foolish in his love, has driven me madly in love." -St. Teresa of the Andes[/quote]

I gotta agree with her on that

[Laudem Gloriae]

I bought all my books on St. Teresa of the Andes at my local catholic bookstore but you can find them at this site, the publishers, Teresian Charism Press, at [url="http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html"]http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html[/url]

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='Laudem Gloriae' post='1689542' date='Oct 30 2008, 11:24 PM']I bought all my books on St. Teresa of the Andes at my local catholic bookstore but you can find them at this site, the publishers, Teresian Charism Press, at [url="http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html"]http://giftstore.holyhill.com/holyhillshrine/page2.html[/url][/quote]

LOL, that's funny because when I was looking for the book last night, I found this website. I have to wait a bit for funds, but I'm going to buy it from them unless I can find it somewhere else cheaper.