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Well I've Tried But It Just Aint Workin'


lost_in_this_world

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icelandic_iceskater

It may be different in your situation, but from personal experience sometimes you need to just let your friend & bro go off on their own. There's really not much you can do about it. Sorry. :idontknow:

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icelandic_iceskater

[quote name='rachael' post='1690035' date='Oct 31 2008, 03:57 PM']i'm just wondering. i know it's hard and a bit awkward, but they are allowed to date who they want to, are they not?[/quote]
When your best friend stops wanting to hang out with you because of your brother- it kinda hurts...

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Archaeology cat

[quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1690297' date='Nov 1 2008, 02:22 AM']i may be just picking up on things more now just cuz i dont like the relationship between them but i can already see my friend and i kinda distancing more now. i dont know if that made sense and everything that i notice is really minor liek we literally do not talk as much as we used to which might be stupid but it is what it is. we just dont seem to be as close and its sad.[/quote]
I hate to say it, but that's bound to happen regardless of whom she dates. It is only natural that she would spend more time with her boyfriend and less with you. This doesn't mean you have to lose your friend, but the friendship does change. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. And I'm sure it's harder when that boyfriend is your brother.

I suppose I'm coming from the reverse situation, as I was really close to my brother before he started dating his wife (even though he is 12 years older than I). Our relationship hasn't been the same, partly because of that and partly because we've both matured a lot (especially me). For years I was upset that it wasn't the same, and even blamed his wife for that, but my then-boyfriend (now-husband) helped me to understand that it was bound to change anyway. That your significant other becomes your best friend. Once I realised that, our relationship became closer again, because I was no longer trying to make it go back to what it was, but was allowing it to develop again.

So really, I would repeat my advice from before, to pray for them, for a blessing on their relationship.

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[quote name='icelandic_iceskater' post='1690347' date='Oct 31 2008, 10:53 PM']When your best friend stops wanting to hang out with you because of your brother- it kinda hurts...[/quote]


i understand this. I don't think it's that your best friend wants to stop hanging out, but more of the the fact the she tried to express her opinion of the relationship and they didn't like it.

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lost_in_this_world

its just a sticky situation is all and i dont like it and yes i realize that i cannot tell people who they can date and who they cannot. if any of you knew me and my bro's situation this is just so foreign and my issue really is with the two of them dating. its just stupid things but because i know its my brother i guess it makes it a lil harder. im happy nto having my brother involved in my life very much and i guess im uncomfortable with him dating my best friend because now hes in my life a lil bit more. umm i dont know if any of this made sense because im procrastinating form doing my homework but whether or not it should bother me it does and it smells of elderberries. so yeah...

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  • 2 weeks later...
lost_in_this_world

so i know this is like beating a dead horse but im kinda at the point we're i just want to not be friends. its just easier to be angry at them then to accept this. arggg i just dont know what the best thing is to do. i kinda just want to be like call me when you two break up but i know that wont make me happy either. i really jsut wan tot be happy for them and with the situation but i dont know how to do that.

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Archaeology cat

It can take awhile, but as I said before, just pray for God to bless them. Pray for them every single time you think about them. Eventually, you may find yourself at peace with this. :)

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puellapaschalis

Can you separate yourself from both for a while?

At the moment I'm in a slightly different situation but I'm trying to keep myself to myself for a period to gather my thoughts and spend more time in prayer than previously.

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lost_in_this_world

i'll try it just hard. i never htought i would ever find myself in this situation especially because my brother and i do not have a good relationship. its just touchy and im afraid to lose a friend but maybe we arent supposed to be friends anymore. anyway, we'll see and i'll post some updates.

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lost_in_this_world

yeah well at this point my bro has done some things that I just want nothing to do with him. So yes this just makes it harder. I just want it to end and I can't wait. i don't care anymore about how mean that comment might be.

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  • 2 weeks later...
lost_in_this_world

im just sort of in a lose lose situation. i kinda pushed her away even though thats not what i want. im just not happy either way. and i dont know what to do to be happy

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