DevotedtoHim Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Saint Therese, actually I think this is appropriate because her experience might be valid. She didn't trash them. She offered to give her opinions privately. I for one am very interested because I am planning on visiting them and I would like to hear what she has to say. It doesn't mean that she is going to be bad just honest about her own life. I wish more people were honest. I just found out how many people left a certain order last year (and it's one of the most popular ones! with tons of "young vocations") and I am really surprised. It has totally made me feel like something might be going on with the way they do things there and while they make a really big deal of their classes in September when all the girls join, they don't say anything about how many girls leave! I think this is important. I am really glad that "Mom" wrote in, I just really wish she would write in again or write to me personally before I get to Los Altos Hills. Also, I think "Mom" was respectful and I like that and besides, this phorum is for people to be able to share and be open and have their opinions and things like that. I really hope she will post again. Thanks, Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I don't think its appropriate to publicly trash a religious community, even if they are experiencing problems. Religious communities have SO MUCH trouble with trying to avoid scandal and having people, who are misinformed about the nature of the life, judge them without basis. No religious community is perfect, and there is always a danger that someone who was briefly a part of a community, and for some reason left, will speak in an imprudent way. We have no idea why this person left religious life. It is possible( though I'm not saying this is what happening in this case) thata person who was briefly a member of a community but was asked to leave might bear a grudge, or have some issue such as mental illness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradMom Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 + Praised be Jesus Christ! Rather than suggest she might be mentally ill, why not consider that the former member feels a sense of obligation out of her personal experience? I do not believe she said anything specific and was careful to mention her feelings were not about the Order in general. I believe listening is good; however to make a vocational decision based upon a stranger's post would be crazy! Take her experience with a grain of salt and know it is personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) If you'll read my post, you'll see that I specifically stated I was not suggesting she was mentally ill. [quote]It is possible( though I'm not saying this is what happening in this case) thata person who was briefly a member of a community but was asked to leave might bear a grudge, or have some issue such as mental illness[/quote] Edited January 8, 2009 by Saint Therese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkaands Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 [quote name='TradMom' post='1745722' date='Jan 7 2009, 09:53 PM']+ Praised be Jesus Christ! Rather than suggest she might be mentally ill, why not consider that the former member feels a sense of obligation out of her personal experience? I do not believe she said anything specific and was careful to mention her feelings were not about the Order in general. I believe listening is good; however to make a vocational decision based upon a stranger's post would be crazy! Take her experience with a grain of salt and know it is personal.[/quote] Here, here, TradMom. All of the info can be transmitted by PM and email, but I think that it is important that discerners get feedback, good and bad, reliable and less so, about the orders they're discerning. Most discerners don't have the time or money to fly about the country visiting orders. Re people leaving, I did note that one of the most popular orders had [i]one-third [/i]of its postulants become novices, in numbers large enough to be significant (not one postulant out of 3, for ex.) That suggests to me that the order isn't adequately screening postulants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradMom Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 +Praised be Jesus Christ! To avoid this topic getting ugly, I did PM Saint Therese to share some of my opinions in more detail. On a public note, however, the specter of mental illness/holding a grudge WAS raised though Saint Therese was indeed careful to make sure she was not inferring this is/was the case with the OP. But, things being as they are, that is more salacious aspect of her post and therefore will be of most interest. It is often, sad but true, what is told to others when someone leaves. It doesn't have to be so interesting...it could just be that the person realized the Monastery was not for them! As I mentioned before, I have two daughters in religious life and one left her first monastery to go to another. This is never an easy decision and one filled with many risks and unanswered questions. I can say in all honesty that had my daughter had the opportunity to interview/speak/email with some of the former members of her original monastery (of which, sadly, there are many) she would have been able to make a more informed decision; things were not revealed to her until she formally entered and unfortunately, this is the case with many women entering religious life today. Since the Poor Clares (PCC) as a rule do NOT allow live in's or aspirancies (as opposed to Carmelites, Benedictines, Visitations or Dominicans) it is of vital importance that one who is considering this particular vocation be well armed with information. Yes, God's grace is beautiful, overwhelming and can be a powerful experience. But, we are still human and trapped in this human condition, and do need information to make informed decisions...as St. Thomas Aquinas would say. I stand by my original thought in believing that Mom2ThreeKids felt some sort of moral/spiritual obligation to make her experience known. I applaud her bravery. She clearly has the facts and information to back up her original post, but out of respect left out details. For purely selfish reasons, because I care and love Katherine (devotedtohim), I hope she will return and share her story. Thank you, Jkaands, for paying attention to the numbers and being an objective voice. TradMom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Thanks to a kindly PM friend, I realized that my comments are somewhat out of place. i guess that teaches me not to post when its been a very long day and i'm tired and somewhat grouchy. I didn't mean to insinuate that the poster was insane, etc. I hope you all will forgive me. I wouldn't want anyone to feel that they can't be open and speak their minds because of my stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2threekids Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) Edited to say, it would be very stupid to take what someone online says fully. I wish though when I was 17 and trying to decide if I should enter there that I had the opportunity to talk to someone who had been inside. I didn't, and trust me I tried hard to find someone. I think it would have given me a different perspective. I am also a happily married mother with three beautiful kids, who lives a happy life, and I want people who find they aren't called to a certain vocation to know that they might find they are very happy elsewhere. I was devistated when I left the Poor Clares. I thought life was over for me, of course I had never met anyone who had left them. One year later I met my husband, 4 years later I graduate from SJSU with a computer science degree and now I have three happy beautiful kids. It wasn't my vocation, but God still directed me and was there for me. If only I had had the opportunity to meet someone who had also been with the Poor Clares and not found their vocation with them, maybe finding my vocation wouldn't have been so scary for me. I don't know if that makes sence, but I would love to reach out and give someone else that opportunity! Edited January 11, 2009 by mom2threekids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2threekids Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 [quote name='DevotedtoHim' post='1745294' date='Jan 7 2009, 02:06 PM']Saint Therese, actually I think this is appropriate because her experience might be valid. She didn't trash them. She offered to give her opinions privately. I for one am very interested because I am planning on visiting them and I would like to hear what she has to say. It doesn't mean that she is going to be bad just honest about her own life. I wish more people were honest. I just found out how many people left a certain order last year (and it's one of the most popular ones! with tons of "young vocations") and I am really surprised. It has totally made me feel like something might be going on with the way they do things there and while they make a really big deal of their classes in September when all the girls join, they don't say anything about how many girls leave! I think this is important. I am really glad that "Mom" wrote in, I just really wish she would write in again or write to me personally before I get to Los Altos Hills. Also, I think "Mom" was respectful and I like that and besides, this phorum is for people to be able to share and be open and have their opinions and things like that. I really hope she will post again. Thanks, Katherine[/quote] Hi there, feel free to email me . I do not have much time to post on this board but I would love to share my experience. BTW, there are many great things about that community or rather great sisters. I found them a very beautiful place, that is why I stayed there, but I do think it is important and mature to look into all sides of something when you want to enter. When I was 18 and entered I was not mature enough to realize I should do that. It caused a lot of problems for me (me note me personally). I wish I had looked into more than I did, but than again if I did things differently maybe I wouldn't be were I am today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2threekids Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 [quote name='jkaands' post='1744639' date='Jan 6 2009, 06:33 PM']In your spare time(!), you may wish to join the Catholic Answers Forum, which is huge, with a large Vocations section under the Catholic Living section . It's at [url="http://forums.catholic.com"]http://forums.catholic.com[/url] (no www.). There are a lot of people looking at vocations there. You can feel free to post your impressions on that site. The size of this forum makes it a bit more anonymous that phatmass, tho' there's a lot of crossover between the two groups. I personally think that former members' "exit interviews" can be very worthwhile. Interested persons can take their personal impressions with a grain of salt, if need be.[/quote] LOL, my kids are ages 4.5, 2.5 and 4 months, I have no time, no time at all. Before I had kids I read internet board where people who said they were parents posted, I realize now they either must have had older kids, or had immaginary kids, because with my three little kiddo's I seriously never have a free moment. I am lucky if I can get into the shower without them tagging along! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevotedtoHim Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Please please post more, Mom2threekids, nobody can PM you until get more posts, supposedly 10. I keep PM-ing you and it is not working until you post more ! Thanks and God bless you! Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevotedtoHim Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Please please post more, Mom2threekids, nobody can PM you until get more posts, supposedly 10. I keep PM-ing you and it is not working until you post more ! Thanks and God bless you! Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 [quote name='mom2threekids' post='1748504' date='Jan 10 2009, 11:47 PM']LOL, my kids are ages 4.5, 2.5 and 4 months, I have no time, no time at all. Before I had kids I read internet board where people who said they were parents posted, I realize now they either must have had older kids, or had immaginary kids, because with my three little kiddo's I seriously never have a free moment. I am lucky if I can get into the shower without them tagging along![/quote] heh you havent met some of the moms here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2threekids Posted January 24, 2009 Author Share Posted January 24, 2009 [quote name='Delivery Boy' post='1749366' date='Jan 12 2009, 03:17 AM']heh you havent met some of the moms here.[/quote] The Poor Clares taught me that becoming a saint means living your vocation to the full. Living the vocation to Motherhood is a consuming job, it doesn't leave time for wasting online. If I try to live my vocation with 3 small kids, I would not be wasting time online. Even doing post is a fault of mine if not a small sin because I still have cleaning I need to get done! I did actually learn a lot from the Poor Clares and I take lots of it to my vocation being a mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 [quote name='mom2threekids' post='1759894' date='Jan 24 2009, 06:18 AM']The Poor Clares taught me that becoming a saint means living your vocation to the full. Living the vocation to Motherhood is a consuming job, it doesn't leave time for wasting online. If I try to live my vocation with 3 small kids, I would not be wasting time online. Even doing post is a fault of mine if not a small sin because I still have cleaning I need to get done! I did actually learn a lot from the Poor Clares and I take lots of it to my vocation being a mother.[/quote] Good luck on telling the other mothers on here that they're wasting their time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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