Winchester Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 [quote name='dauntingknight' date='07 September 2009 - 08:14 PM' timestamp='1252368893' post='1962927'] I do not have a whole lot of advice but when I go camping or khiking ...blah blah blah...[/quote] What's "khiking"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 [quote name='Winchester' date='17 September 2009 - 10:52 PM' timestamp='1253242368' post='1968397'] What's "khiking"? [/quote] hiking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Winchester comes in and comments on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcts Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 i'm glad you're getting the help you need, tt I know how hard it is to admit you need help, especially medically in a situation like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 The thing about getting the depressants that I'm concerned with is that I'd be using my health insurance to pay for it and my parents pay the bills for that so they'd see what I would be getting. Of course they'd ask me what the heck is going on and school is a factor in it but there's also the abuse that I don't want to have to talk to them amount that plays a bigger role in that. Mom especially would want to talk to me about that but I honestly think that that would make matters worse for me to talk with her about it. I could just say that I'm getting professional help about it here and leave it at that, telling her not to worry. She may push for more answers though. Dad might as well. He is well known to be Mr. 20,000 questions about everything and me refusing to give more information will drive him insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 [quote name='tinytherese' date='17 September 2009 - 10:29 PM' timestamp='1253248177' post='1968452'] me refusing to give more information will drive him insane. [/quote] +J.M.J.+ good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 [quote name='tinytherese' date='17 September 2009 - 10:50 PM' timestamp='1253242249' post='1968396'] My therapist had me write a letter to my mom where I explained to her what I was going through and what I wanted of her in this situation. It wasn't so that I would send it to her though, it was just for therapeutic purposes. I did find that helpful. I doubt that I will ever send it to her. I am honestly convinced that she just won't get it, that she'll insist that he doesn't mean anything by it and doesn't understand what he's doing. She also has her lawyer powers that she can try to work on me along with being neurotic. I've never felt more emotionally distant from my parents than I do now. Really late last night, (or today technically since it was past midnight.) I actually had suicidal thoughts. I prayed 3 Hail Mary's, a Hail Holy Queen, the Memorare, sung Immaculate Mary in my head (so as not to wake my suitemates,) an Our Father, and the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel. I had another suicidal thought this afternoon. I got diagnosed with severe depression at my therapy session later that day. I'm going to get anti-depressants tomorrow ASAP. My therapist noticed that I was wearing my Pope John Paul II t-shirt and I was reminded of how many horrible things happened in his life. When he was my age his whole family was dead and he witnessed so many horrors around him. Yet through all of this he remained hopeful. That is why he is a called a Witness to Hope like in his biography. His virtue of hope despite what he has gone through has been an inspiration to so many people in today's world and that is one of the reasons why so many have been drawn to him. He even went in person to forgive his assassin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEGCACesZII [/quote] [quote name='tinytherese' date='18 September 2009 - 12:29 AM' timestamp='1253248177' post='1968452'] The thing about getting the depressants that I'm concerned with is that I'd be using my health insurance to pay for it and my parents pay the bills for that so they'd see what I would be getting. Of course they'd ask me what the heck is going on and school is a factor in it but there's also the abuse that I don't want to have to talk to them amount that plays a bigger role in that. Mom especially would want to talk to me about that but I honestly think that that would make matters worse for me to talk with her about it. I could just say that I'm getting professional help about it here and leave it at that, telling her not to worry. She may push for more answers though. Dad might as well. He is well known to be Mr. 20,000 questions about everything and me refusing to give more information will drive him insane. [/quote] If you are getting suicidal thoughts, this is getting serious. I don't see how you are going to avoid a confrontation with your parents, so it's best that you prepare for it. Maybe your therapist can help. Get any witnesses and "documentation" in order. And don't try to be a "Catholic hero" over this, either, by thinking that have to endure this abuse silently out of devotion to Pope John Paul II or Mary or God or a need to forgive. You're survival is at stake and right now that is your top priority. Forgiveness can come later when you are out of danger - in fact, then you will be able to do so more authentically with a clearer head and will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Well I was in the hospital for days and just got back today. I talked with a doctor and social workers about my home life and the stress of school. My mom and grandma came as soon as they could. A social worker sat with me as I talked to mom and she reacted a heck of a lot better than I thought she would. She was much calmer about the situation than anticipated and said that one of two things would happen. 1. Dad would be kicked out of the house. 2. She and my little brother would leave the house and go somewhere safe. She said to leave the planning and details to her. She'll talk with our parish priest at home, social workers, and any other resourceful people on what to do. She said that she had been minimizing what dad had been doing in their marriage and him as a father. She was trying to make it work and she wanted two parents that would be unified. She also confessed that she thought that a divorce would crush me because of how devout I am. I assured her though that it is not a sin to be divorced, but that remarriage without an annulment is. If I have to testify in court I will, now that I have my mom and grandma that are supporting me. I do have a case for sexual assault and I told the doctor and some of the social workers about dad torturing my brother and they have allerted my home state about a possible physical abuse case for him. I'm going to try not to worry about that for right now though. I'm just supposed to ease back into school and do the make up work that I need to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domine ut Videam Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 TinyTherese, I am so sorry for what you are having to endure but am definitely awed by the strength you are exhibiting. It takes great courage to face ones problems and to know when its time to seek help. Know that you have been in my prayers daily. If I can help you with anything I am a theology minor at our school and have many friends who are majors if you want to get notes for your classes or anything. Also, I simply want to reiterate that if you ever need someone to talk to or simply a friend, I'd love to get to know you better. You are in my prayers. Under Mary's Mantle, Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sternhauser Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 (edited) . Edited September 23, 2009 by Sternhauser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 You have continued to be in my prayers. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on, cops, lawyers, etc. Try to stay centered and lose yourself in your schoolwork for a little while. Let the medicine work. It can take a couple of months to really stabilize on anti-depressants. If you get overwhelmed with the legal stuff, or want someone to walk you through the processes going on in non-legal English, PM me your phone number. I have unlimited long distance to the states, and I am more than willing to walk you through what's going to happen. I know having your mom and grandmother on your side has got to be a large burden lifted from your shoulders. Remember to breathe, try to get your rest, and eat decent stuff. All that will help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I am praying for you. As Catherine said, there will be a lot of things going on from this point. Unfortunately nothing is quick and easy in cases like this. We're all here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 (edited) Thank you everyone. I'll PM you Catherine if I need to but it seems as if my mom knows what to do. Since she is a lawyer herself and has a bachelor's degree in social work, not to mention knows so many people in the courthouse and her lawfirm she should do well with this. It's funny, because she is used to dealing with clients who have been accused of similar things and now she's on another side of it all. A social worker gave us some phone numbers and helpful websites, including the number for a women's shelter if we need it. The deacon at our parish is a retired police chief so he'll be a good resource as well. It'll be hard talking to my little brother about what is going on. He is only seven years old and also on mom since their 25th anniversary is in two months. A lot of big changes are going to happen. Not to mention I don't know how my dad's side of the family will react to all of this. Right now I've been told not to worry about it for the moment at least. I'm supposed to focus on make up work and focusing on school right now. Mom is sticking around school at the moment to make sure that I'm alright and am adjusting into school again. I've got my therapist to see twice a week as before and now that I have my medicine hopefully I'll be able to focus on my studies. I don't think that mom will have a set plan for a little while. I know though that I want to call my big brother to explain the situation from my point of view once mom has her plan all set. It's best that he hears it from me first rather than dad trying to turn him against the rest of us. Mom has agreed to me doing that just so long as she is in the room as I speak with him over the phone. Edited September 23, 2009 by tinytherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm so glad that you have the support in place that you do. That will make things lots easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Continue to be in our prayers. Glad to see the situation is headed towards a a difficult- but needed resolution. Pray it goes well. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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