T-Bone _ Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions.
Saint Therese Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
T-Bone _ Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Oh, jeeh, you're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimbleful of corn oil. Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did.
Saint Therese Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 That makes me want to eat some ice cream.
T-Bone _ Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Alright, ya got me. The story of the Simpson family began in the Old Country. I forget which one exactly. My dad would drone on and on about America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread having been invented the previous winter.
Saint Therese Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 [img]http://www.medizin.fu-berlin.de/klinphys/images/static/homer_simpson.jpg[/img]
T-Bone _ Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 Alright, I admit it! I am the Lindbergh baby! Waah! Waah! Goo goo. I miss my fly fly dada.
T-Bone _ Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 Oh, I know this story! The year was nineteen ought six. The President is the divine Miss Sarah Burnheart and all over America people were doing a dance called the Funky Grampa! Oh I'm the...
eagle_eye222001 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 (edited) [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1774828' date='Feb 7 2009, 12:26 PM']Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.[/quote] [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1774846' date='Feb 7 2009, 12:31 PM']Bart: "Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing absolutely nothing?" Grampa: "I figured because the democrats were in power again."[/quote] [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1774909' date='Feb 7 2009, 12:45 PM']Well, you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Byrd had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges ... and I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. The following morning, I resigned my commission in the Coast Guard. The next thing I heard, there was civil war in Spain ... and, that's everything that happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call.[/quote] ---------------- Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/skillet/track/comatose"]Skillet - Comatose[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url] Keep on ripping em! Edited February 9, 2009 by eagle_eye222001
eagle_eye222001 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1775999' date='Feb 8 2009, 04:31 PM']Ow! Hey, listen! Now, my story begins in 19 dickety two. We had to say dickety 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles.[/quote] [quote name='Saint Therese' post='1776011' date='Feb 8 2009, 04:42 PM']I bet Grandpa Simpson was a filthy commie.[/quote] [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1776016' date='Feb 8 2009, 04:44 PM']Oh, sure. Let's see, I'm an elk, a Mason, a communist. I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason. Ah, here it is. The Stonecutters.[/quote] [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1776036' date='Feb 8 2009, 04:53 PM']Grampa: "I got separated from my platoon after we parachuted into Duseldorf so I rode out the rest of the war posing as a German cabaret singer.[singing] Won't you come home Frantbrelda, won't you come home." Bart: "Is that story true Grampa?" Grampa: "Most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the 40s. Oh, they had designers then."[/quote] [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1776058' date='Feb 8 2009, 05:01 PM']Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas, there's a haircut you could set your watch to.[/quote] Obviously you have the first 10 season on DVD......right? ---------------- Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/skillet/track/comatose"]Skillet - Comatose[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url]
eagle_eye222001 Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1776113' date='Feb 8 2009, 05:30 PM']Alright, ya got me. The story of the Simpson family began in the Old Country. I forget which one exactly. My dad would drone on and on about America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread having been invented the previous winter. ---------------- Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/skillet/track/comatose"]Skillet - Comatose[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url][/quote] ........ Abe's dad: See this Abe? This is America. Someday we'll go there, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Abe: Later that day....
T-Bone _ Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 [quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1776987' date='Feb 9 2009, 02:31 PM'] Obviously you have the first 10 season on DVD......right? ---------------- Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/skillet/track/comatose"]Skillet - Comatose[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url][/quote] Yes. Yes I do.
Paddington Posted February 10, 2009 Posted February 10, 2009 [quote name='T-Bone _' post='1777036' date='Feb 9 2009, 06:14 PM']Yes. Yes I do.[/quote] And for that you have my admiration.
T-Bone _ Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 That's not a war story! I'll tell ya a war story! I was on PT109 with John F. Kennedy. I was the first to discover his terrible secret.
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