zabbazooey Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 (edited) Okay so a few PMers are friends with me on facebook, and most of what I post are comments on pictures, surveys, saying I don't want to work....etc. I'm also known as a conservative (duh) who doesn't really care for Obama, but it's not like that's my entire life. So I come home from work, and I receive a message from someone I thought was a friend (we were close-ish, but we haven't hung out in recent months) saying "You wouldn't be able to play W.O.W or be free access independent sites if it weren't for democrats. its called net neutrality. [url="http://www.savetheinternet.com/"]http://www.savetheinternet.com/[/url] And if it weren't for republicans, I would of been eligible for some pell grants. So stop your ignorant slamming of obama, we dont all complain about what the opposite party has done, so be done with it. and i would of been happy with mccain as president, as long as it isn't bush. and if one day the only cure for your neurodegenerative disease is by producing new tissue in your body via stem cells, then i hope your mind changes" I mean, whenever I'm with my friends (who are mostly liberals -- it doesn't bother me who you vote for, there are other things to talk about/do) I make it a point to never really talk politics. It just bothers me that just because I voice opinions (on facebook of all things) others do not share, especially when my whole life doesn't revolve around it, that I get attacked. I'm just kind of hurt because I thought we were friends and it just came up out of the blue. Anyone else have any experiences similar? Doesn't have to necessarily pertain to facebook I just need to vent Edited April 25, 2009 by zabbazooey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 Yep. One of my cousins and I go back and forth any time I post something against embryonic stem cell research or abortion (he and his wife are supporters of PRIDE and PP, so needless to say we have very different views in that regard). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 I've had similar experiences on facebook. It smells of elderberries because it's the internet and it's impersonal but at the same time, you know these people and it can get very personal. I've lost contact with a few people over my political, religious and social views on facebook, but I figure eventually it would've happened in person, better this way, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 I had the same problem with a friend I knew from Germany. I didn't realize how far left she was until adding her as a friend. I recently un-added her, cuz I was tired of the stuff she was saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 Why should one person's political leanings affect someone else's emotional state? Maybe the person who hurt you didn't think you would take it so personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 The problem with facebook is that it's too hard to tailor your profile to suit individual friendships. In real life, every friendship is unique, and each friendship brings out unique characteristics in the people involved. The things you talk about with one friend are not the things you talk about with other friends. So, I have some friends who have very different political leanings than I do. With some of those friends I can still talk politics and we maintain friendship even though we argue about political stuff. Other friendships just aren't ready for that, and might never be. My taking a strong political stance with them, or vice versa, would ruin the friendship. In real life you recognize the warning signs that this is a sensitive area and you back off, if you want to maintain the friendship. Facebook doesn't provide that option. Unless you spend a TON of time on there, you just can't tailor things to make the personal interactions unique. Everyone is interacting with the same information about you, and you can't adjust it to account for different tolerances. Because of this I rarely have anything of substance on FB. I don't want to lose friends because something I would say to one friend is hurtful or offensive to another friend. I don't think it's a bad thing, or that I'm selling out. I'm just recognizing that I engage differently with different people, and the cookie-cutter approach doesn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 [quote name='zabbazooey' post='1846935' date='Apr 25 2009, 04:45 AM']Okay so a few PMers are friends with me on facebook, and most of what I post are comments on pictures, surveys, saying I don't want to work....etc. I'm also known as a conservative (duh) who doesn't really care for Obama, but it's not like that's my entire life. So I come home from work, and I receive a message from someone I thought was a friend (we were close-ish, but we haven't hung out in recent months) saying "You wouldn't be able to play W.O.W or be free access independent sites if it weren't for democrats. its called net neutrality. [url="http://www.savetheinternet.com/"]http://www.savetheinternet.com/[/url] And if it weren't for republicans, I would of been eligible for some pell grants. So stop your ignorant slamming of obama, we dont all complain about what the opposite party has done, so be done with it. and i would of been happy with mccain as president, as long as it isn't bush. and if one day the only cure for your neurodegenerative disease is by producing new tissue in your body via stem cells, then i hope your mind changes" I mean, whenever I'm with my friends (who are mostly liberals -- it doesn't bother me who you vote for, there are other things to talk about/do) I make it a point to never really talk politics. It just bothers me that just because I voice opinions (on facebook of all things) others do not share, especially when my whole life doesn't revolve around it, that I get attacked. I'm just kind of hurt because I thought we were friends and it just came up out of the blue. Anyone else have any experiences similar? Doesn't have to necessarily pertain to facebook I just need to vent [/quote] Sounds like they snapped and just dumped on you. Sometimes I feel like doing this myself with my more liberal friends, but I refrain because I don't see the use in trying to change someones mind over Facebook. Oh and tell her/him that embryonic stem cells are stupid and adult stem cells are the cheeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotusTuusMaria Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 yeah, i did run into that twice. Someone posted something pro-homosexual-agenda happening at a Catholic school. I posted a link to something opposing the agenda and then on my own status wrote that I was shocked the Catholic school would do that. I apparently insulted him and he un-friended me. I was very charitable though in my response. He says I post things all the time that are offensive and bigoted though... lol. oh well. Then too, i invited like my whole list of friends to the boycott pepsi thing not thinking anything of it and the above friend got insulted and messaged me back and was like "i don't appreciate that. yada yada yada" and then this other guy messaged me (who I thought a faithful Catholic) and told me he didn't like that I invited him to that and that there was nothing wrong with homosexual marriage and so on and so on. So, we ended up discussing... that one actually turned out alright and we are still in discussion. i am really involved in this pro-life organization though and so when things happen locally concerning it i make sure to get the word out to those on my friends... i mean, that is why i joined facebook in the first place... to mobilize more people to get involved in the pro-life work we were doing. And it has worked. All of these old school friends that I haven't talked to in ages want to friend me now and i say ok and then they get insulted when I post things... well either ignore it or unfriend me. there is not much i am going to do about it because i didn't join facebook to network with them. harsh, but it is the truth. interestingly the pro-life stuff doesn't annoy people. the anti-homosexual-agenda stuff does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1847084' date='Apr 25 2009, 09:25 AM']The problem with facebook is that it's too hard to tailor your profile to suit individual friendships. In real life, every friendship is unique, and each friendship brings out unique characteristics in the people involved. The things you talk about with one friend are not the things you talk about with other friends. So, I have some friends who have very different political leanings than I do. With some of those friends I can still talk politics and we maintain friendship even though we argue about political stuff. Other friendships just aren't ready for that, and might never be. My taking a strong political stance with them, or vice versa, would ruin the friendship. In real life you recognize the warning signs that this is a sensitive area and you back off, if you want to maintain the friendship. Facebook doesn't provide that option. Unless you spend a TON of time on there, you just can't tailor things to make the personal interactions unique. Everyone is interacting with the same information about you, and you can't adjust it to account for different tolerances. Because of this I rarely have anything of substance on FB. I don't want to lose friends because something I would say to one friend is hurtful or offensive to another friend. I don't think it's a bad thing, or that I'm selling out. I'm just recognizing that I engage differently with different people, and the cookie-cutter approach doesn't work.[/quote] dittodittoditto this! This is my exact feeling towards facebook (and blogging in general, I guess). The only reason I have a facebook page is because hsdaughter wanted one and I wanted to let her. But there again, I have told her that everything she posts is fair game for all of her friends to read, cut, paste, email etc. to everyone else. And, as Terra points out, she cannot be faceted in her posts. Everything she posts is seen by everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theologian in Training Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 (edited) [quote name='zabbazooey' post='1846935' date='Apr 25 2009, 03:45 AM']Okay so a few PMers are friends with me on facebook, and most of what I post are comments on pictures, surveys, saying I don't want to work....etc. I'm also known as a conservative (duh) who doesn't really care for Obama, but it's not like that's my entire life. So I come home from work, and I receive a message from someone I thought was a friend (we were close-ish, but we haven't hung out in recent months) saying "You wouldn't be able to play W.O.W or be free access independent sites if it weren't for democrats. its called net neutrality. [url="http://www.savetheinternet.com/"]http://www.savetheinternet.com/[/url] And if it weren't for republicans, I would of been eligible for some pell grants. So stop your ignorant slamming of obama, we dont all complain about what the opposite party has done, so be done with it. and i would of been happy with mccain as president, as long as it isn't bush. and if one day the only cure for your neurodegenerative disease is by producing new tissue in your body via stem cells, then i hope your mind changes" I mean, whenever I'm with my friends (who are mostly liberals -- it doesn't bother me who you vote for, there are other things to talk about/do) I make it a point to never really talk politics. It just bothers me that just because I voice opinions (on facebook of all things) others do not share, especially when my whole life doesn't revolve around it, that I get attacked. I'm just kind of hurt because I thought we were friends and it just came up out of the blue. Anyone else have any experiences similar? Doesn't have to necessarily pertain to facebook I just need to vent [/quote] As a newbie to facebook, I discovered two other important functions, "Ignore" and "Delete." They might come in handy here as well Edited April 25, 2009 by Theologian in Training Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkwright Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 I think to be fair, if anyone posted something anti-Catholic any of us would jump all over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prose Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 I have to be very careful also because some of my clients have befriended me on facebook. Basically, what I have done is change my filters and sort my friends. Some have access to everything, some (like clients) have access to next to nothing. My privacy settings are through the roof, and someone can't even add me as a friend without messaging me first. There are little things that are important to know also. First, if someone messages you something like "Do I know you?" and you message back, they have access to your entire profile for 24 hours unless you have changed the privacy settings. Same goes for "poking". Just some small things to keep in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jiyoung Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 Wow...I never even thought your profile was overtly political. I've seen some really, really political, and sometimes really offensive, profiles--typically they come from the liberal camp, for whatever reason. I remember when Prop 8 was passed, an old friend put up on his profile that if you voted for Prop 8, you needed to tell him and he was removing you from his friends permanently. He was gay, if you haven't guessed...now if someone who had voted for Prop 8 had said that for the opposite position, he'd immediately be labeled an intolerant bigot trying to force his beliefs system on everyone else. It's frustrating, and I tend to leave a lot of political stuff off my FB (except like groups and stuff), but if that happens--well, I guess that's the cost of preaching truth in the public square. And this person seems a little too ignorant to take seriously. I like how she (he?) reprimands you for slamming on Obama, saying they don't need to constantly complain about the opposite party, and then immediately turns around and starts slamming Bush. I mean, wasn't Obama's whole campaign kind of based on slamming Bush, in a way? That's what all the "CHANGE" business was about, it seems--change from the current administration. Nobody ever talked about what that change was gonna be... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotusTuusMaria Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 [quote name='rkwright' post='1847108' date='Apr 25 2009, 10:19 AM']I think to be fair, if anyone posted something anti-Catholic any of us would jump all over it.[/quote] there is a slight yet important differences in dissing someones religion and speaking out about a controversial issue like abortion or homosexual marriage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 [quote name='prose' post='1847114' date='Apr 25 2009, 03:36 PM']Some have access to everything, some (like clients) have access to next to nothing. My privacy settings are through the roof, and someone can't even add me as a friend without messaging me first.[/quote] Same here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now