Being A Bridesmaid For Non-catholic Wedding

[zunshynn]

One of my best friends, who is Mormon, is getting married next month, and wants me to be an "honorary bridesmaid". Of course, I wouldn't be attending the ceremony because I'm not Mormon. I guess she just wants me and a couple of other friends to come to breakfast before and take pictures, etc. Is there any moral obstacles to a Catholic doing that?

And just so I know, because I don't know how situations like that work... If I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a Protestant wedding, or another religion (Jewish maybe, although I don't even know if they have bridesmaids), could I?

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='zunshynn' post='1902768' date='Jun 27 2009, 03:10 PM']One of my best friends, who is Mormon, is getting married next month, and wants me to be an "honorary bridesmaid". Of course, I wouldn't be attending the ceremony because I'm not Mormon. I guess she just wants me and a couple of other friends to come to breakfast before and take pictures, etc. Is there any moral obstacles to a Catholic doing that?

And just so I know, because I don't know how situations like that work... If I was asked to be a bridesmaid for a Protestant wedding, or another religion (Jewish maybe, although I don't even know if they have bridesmaids), could I?[/quote]

Did you mean to post this in Q & A? I think one of the people there would be able to give you a good concise answer.

I *think* you're ok with being a bridesmaid ... I would think that there is a conflict if it was a friend who converted from catholicism, or a mixed wedding that you didn't agree with (especially if its a catholic who is ignoring catholic teaching and decides to marry in another church anyway), etc.

But again you may want to repost this in Q&A and get a better answer from there. To quote Bones from Star Trek: I'm an (in my case) engineer, not a theologian.

[CatherineM]

When it comes to weddings, you are okay to attend, but you can't receive communion at other than Catholic services. It all depends on your comfort level. Some people who are not comfortable with the people being married will sometimes not go to the service, but go to the reception. As an example, you might not approve of the person they are marrying because they've been married 4 times before, or it might be a gay wedding. I have been to a gay wedding, mostly out of curiosity to be honest. I wouldn't attend a satanic wedding. I can't imagine getting invited to one of those, unless it was a relative. It sounds like you won't be going to the wedding part anyway. If you are happy for the couple who is getting married, I see nothing wrong with celebrating with them.

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1902865' date='Jun 27 2009, 04:23 PM']If you are happy for the couple who is getting married, I see nothing wrong with celebrating with them.[/quote]

I like this, and will make an addendum on top of it: does this couple/will this couple live in accordance with what is expected of them as good Mormons? Same for Protestants, Jews, etc. And same for Catholics: I would not go to a "Catholic" wedding of a couple who contracepted, because they are not living in accordance with Catholic teaching. Now, Protestants don't have that doctrine, and so I could go to a Protestant wedding so long as they were making an honest attempt at living as holy Protestants.

Blessings for your friends!

[Resurrexi]

I would never attend an invalid wedding.

If the wedding were a non-Catholic service, I would participate only passively, not actively.

[VeniteAdoremus]

I don't go to housewarming parties of friends who start cohabitating.

This usually shocks them.

As to weddings: the Church recognises all marriages (non-sacramentally, obviously) as long as neither party has been married before and they're not the same sex, right? I wouldn't have trouble attending those. I did skip a Protestant wedding because it was on a Friday during Lent.

I would give them a Theology of the Body book though, whatever their religion

[elizabeth09]

Just let your friend know how you feel about it and listen to your heart. Do your want to be a Bridesmaid at your best friend`s wedding or not? That is fine if you are not going to attend the ceremony.

[rkwright]

[quote name='Resurrexi' post='1902973' date='Jun 27 2009, 05:14 PM']I would never attend an invalid wedding.

If the wedding were a non-Catholic service, I would participate only passively, not actively.[/quote]

Just wondering what makes an invalid wedding?

[MithLuin]

I was asked to be a bridesmaid at a Protestant wedding (yes, Jewish weddings can have bridesmaids, too), and I asked a priest about it.

He told me that if the couple were honestly intending to be married (ie, this wasn't some sham ceremony) then it would be acceptable. Catholic matrimony is a 'special case' of marriage in general - you could be a bridesmaid at their ceremony in good faith if it were a valid marriage.

My friend wasn't Mormon, so running this particular scenario by a priest first before you accept might be a good idea. But you don't have to be Catholic to get married, and we don't only support/recognize the marriages of Catholics. A civil marriage is still a marriage.

If there are other reasons why you would feel ambivalent about supporting or standing up for a particular marriage, then of course you should discuss that with someone. In my friend's case, there were some other issues as well.

[Resurrexi]

[quote name='rkwright' post='1917402' date='Jul 11 2009, 03:21 PM']Just wondering what makes an invalid wedding?[/quote]

[url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3Y.HTM"]This[/url] should help to answer your question.