What Should I Do?

[InHisLove726]

I'm trying to figure out where God is calling me at the moment. I am really lost as to what to do. I want to get a job and be more independent, but everything that I try really doesn't work out. After Mass today, I have this gnawing feeling that God is calling me to leave everyone and everything for love of Him and I want to SO MUCH! I want to be a contemplative nun or active sister, if He wants it of me. But I need to pay off my debts first.

They are credit card debts, not school loans. Does anyone know of any programs or missions that help people pay off personal debts so they can enter a religious order? I only know of the ones that pay for school loans. I also need to find a way to get a job so I can afford to make trips to some monasteries that I want to visit.

I had a job interview a week ago, but I got a letter on Friday saying they are looking at other candidates but thanks for my interest. I've applied everywhere I can think of as a Certified Nursing Assistant. I've even applied at places like McDonald's and Burger King to just have SOMETHING, but I never heard back.

I know God's time is not our time, but I can't stay in my parents' house much longer. I know that my mom is very irritated that I've stayed this long. I'll be turning 26 on July 26th, so I'm way past due for living on my own, and I know that. I hate that I've stayed this long. I want to move out, but NOTHING is working!

Please help! Right now, I'm even open to missionary work, or relocating for a job. I am a certified nursing assistant in the state of Florida, so if anyone knows of ANYTHING, please let me know! God bless you for your help! Please keep me in your prayers!

[CatherineM]

Prayers certainly. I used to live in the St. Pete area, and there were a bunch of CNA openings working in the homes of elderly that don't want to go to a nursing home yet. There was a service you could call. You might do a week or two while someone's full time was on vacation, or their daughter or something. Some are live in. With your CNA, you could also try taking a live-in nanny job.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1911748' date='Jul 5 2009, 02:59 PM']Prayers certainly. I used to live in the St. Pete area, and there were a bunch of CNA openings working in the homes of elderly that don't want to go to a nursing home yet. There was a service you could call. You might do a week or two while someone's full time was on vacation, or their daughter or something. Some are live in. With your CNA, you could also try taking a live-in nanny job.[/quote]

I'll surely look into it. I'm going to "google" places to see if I can find some agency that will help with relocation expenses.

[InHisLove726]

Also, I'm going to be listing some items on eBay for sale in a few days (including an antique amethyst ring that is BEAUTIFUL!) so that I can pay off debts and try to earn money for monastery visits. My feedback is really high, so rest assured that I am honest! Please help if you can!!

[url="http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/lilfranciscan726_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZ"]http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/lilfrancisca...armrsZ1QQ_fromZ[/url]

Edited July 5, 2009 by InHisLove726

[Thomist-in-Training]

One of my friends did this: [url="http://udguera07.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/diocese-of-austin-vocations-discernment-fund/"]http://udguera07.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/...scernment-fund/[/url]

She asked her diocese whether she could set up a fund for vocations who need help... including herself, but it could also include others in future.

Are you "friends with" your parish? (I go to a Latin Mass community 45 minutes from my house, so I know not everyone is with their local parish!) If you know people there, can you ask the people you know to ask everyone they know whether they want to help you become a religious?

On the other hand, if you don't have a community yet, I know how frustrating it is not having a job (because I don't have one yet and I DO have a community!!) but that gives you more time to find a job, eh?

Do you have a degree that would allow you to teach? If so, I know that this Fraternity of St. Peter school is looking for teachers, esp. Math and Science: [url="http://www.stjohnv.com/?title=sschool&menu=cmenu"]http://www.stjohnv.com/?title=sschool&menu=cmenu[/url]
Teaching is for eight whole months or whatever, but if it were at that school there would be THREE priests around that you could talk to, so it might be worth it; also your story might make them more inclined to hire you?

[Lilllabettt]

Hang in there. I feel your pain re: not being independent. I was working up until I got sick, but I don't have a profession or a degree. I was on my own for a few years ... but here I am with mom and dad again. Definitely not what I imagined for myself when I graduated high school, but things happen, you know?

As far as the job search goes, the key is to annoy, annoy, annoy. Wait 3 days after you submit an application and then call them. Say: "I submitted an application a few days ago, and I'd like to come in for an interview." If you go on an interview in the morning, put a thank you note in the mail that same afternoon. If you don't hear back a couple weeks after your interview, call them and ask about the status of your application. If the answer is no, make them tell you no. Make it incredibly hard for them to get rid of you. A lot of employers will want to take the easy way out and just not contact you. Don't let them get away with it.

[Maggyie]

Don't freak out... the economy stinks right now so if you don't have a lot of experience it can be so hard to get a job. Don't put too much pressure on yourself - even if you got a CNA job that would be almost impossible to live on, I don't know how they are paid in FL but in OH they make about minimum wage, so in the Cleveland area they usually work two jobs or two shifts instead of one. Your mom ought to understand the challenges involved... if not... I know how you feel sigh.

God may be calling you but He is definitely calling you to pay your debts first! If He wanted you in the monastery right now He would give you the means to pay that off. He hasn't yet, so obviously He wants you to slow down and be in the world for a while. I think He is probably protecting you from making mistakes in your discernment - He is teaching you patience! I know you want it so much but the only way it's going to work out with an order is if HE wants it too. So be at peace in God's will, and wait on Him... He will not keep you waiting forever! Easier said than done I know.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='Thomist-in-Training' post='1911785' date='Jul 5 2009, 03:44 PM']One of my friends did this: [url="http://udguera07.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/diocese-of-austin-vocations-discernment-fund/"]http://udguera07.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/...scernment-fund/[/url]

She asked her diocese whether she could set up a fund for vocations who need help... including herself, but it could also include others in future.

Are you "friends with" your parish? (I go to a Latin Mass community 45 minutes from my house, so I know not everyone is with their local parish!) If you know people there, can you ask the people you know to ask everyone they know whether they want to help you become a religious?

On the other hand, if you don't have a community yet, I know how frustrating it is not having a job (because I don't have one yet and I DO have a community!!) but that gives you more time to find a job, eh?

Do you have a degree that would allow you to teach? If so, I know that this Fraternity of St. Peter school is looking for teachers, esp. Math and Science: [url="http://www.stjohnv.com/?title=sschool&menu=cmenu"]http://www.stjohnv.com/?title=sschool&menu=cmenu[/url]
Teaching is for eight whole months or whatever, but if it were at that school there would be THREE priests around that you could talk to, so it might be worth it; also your story might make them more inclined to hire you?[/quote]

Unfortunately, religious orders are not very prominent in my area. The diocesan vocation office only promotes the priesthood. Before I was 24, I didn't even know what a nun was, much less what a "vocation" was.

I don't know of any programs in my area that would help someone like me. I know we have the Knights of Columbus in my diocese, but I know very little about them. I am also not very familiar with people in my Church because I've only been attending this Church for a year and a half. My old Church is where I attend daily Mass and it's closer to my house. I'm not very active in either Church besides being an EMHC at the Church I go to on Sundays. I think I would feel uncomfortable approaching people asking for donations for my discernment.

Unfortunately, I am two classes short of obtaining my Associates degree, and I don't want to be a teacher. I've tried teaching several times before, and I can't do it. I don't have the patience or the stamina to teach kids.

I think I'm in a tight spot. I only have certification and I can't go back to school because I have no money! Plus, with my job history, I've burned several bridges in the past before I had my internal conversion to the Church. I've found no one that is willing to give me a second chance to show that I am capable, unfortunately.

I don't know what to do....

Edited July 5, 2009 by InHisLove726

[InHisLove726]

I've just listed my ring on eBay and I'm donating 10% of the proceeds to the Catholic Charities of Northwest Florida.

Here's the listing!

[url="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&salenotsupported=true&item=260441576069"]http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...em=260441576069[/url]

[CatherineM]

Try a few of these:

[url="http://pinellascountyjobs.org/s/find-cna-jobs-in-pinellas-county-florida"]Pinellas County Jobs[/url]

[url="http://www.vnaflorida.org/careers.asp?Edit=&job-location=&job-title=&PageIndex=6"]Visiting Nurses[/url]

[CatherineM]

You might also think about putting a small add in the Florida Catholic newspaper. Just say that you are looking for a CNA position so that you can finance your entrance into a religious order.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1911813' date='Jul 5 2009, 04:13 PM']Try a few of these:

[url="http://pinellascountyjobs.org/s/find-cna-jobs-in-pinellas-county-florida"]Pinellas County Jobs[/url]

[url="http://www.vnaflorida.org/careers.asp?Edit=&job-location=&job-title=&PageIndex=6"]Visiting Nurses[/url][/quote]


[quote name='CatherineM' post='1911816' date='Jul 5 2009, 04:20 PM']You might also think about putting a small add in the Florida Catholic newspaper. Just say that you are looking for a CNA position so that you can finance your entrance into a religious order.[/quote]


Thank you for both those ideas. I'm looking at the Florida Catholic website now, and finding out how to put an ad in. Ya'll have such great ideas sometimes!

[CatherineM]

20+ years ago, during another nasty recession, the Sooner Catholic started a jobs box, and it was so popular that they still have it. I think that we should have that kind of classified section in every Catholic paper, not just for church jobs.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1911834' date='Jul 5 2009, 04:40 PM']20+ years ago, during another nasty recession, the Sooner Catholic started a jobs box, and it was so popular that they still have it. I think that we should have that kind of classified section in every Catholic paper, not just for church jobs.[/quote]

I agree. I wish there was a Catholic newspaper for the Northeast Florida region.

[Thomist-in-Training]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1911798' date='Jul 5 2009, 03:53 PM']Hang in there. I feel your pain re: not being independent. I was working up until I got sick, but I don't have a profession or a degree. I was on my own for a few years ... but here I am with mom and dad again. Definitely not what I imagined for myself when I graduated high school, but things happen, you know?

As far as the job search goes, the key is to annoy, annoy, annoy. Wait 3 days after you submit an application and then call them. Say: "I submitted an application a few days ago, and I'd like to come in for an interview." If you go on an interview in the morning, put a thank you note in the mail that same afternoon. If you don't hear back a couple weeks after your interview, call them and ask about the status of your application. If the answer is no, make them tell you no. Make it incredibly hard for them to get rid of you. A lot of employers will want to take the easy way out and just not contact you. Don't let them get away with it.[/quote]

Lilllabettt, you're SO helpful! I needed this advice. Obviously it goes against the way one likes to interact with humans. I'm hijacking IHL's thread briefly to see if anyone has an idea:

When you're planning to enter an order, How do you answer the question

"Ah, you have a college degree in ____? Why aren't you looking for something in that field rather than applying for crummy jobs like this one?" or "What are your long-term plans with ___?"

Once this was a brusque question, and once it was a friendly making-conversation-to-begin-interview question. I mumbled something and to the further question "Teaching, maybe" said that my future could involve teaching (hey this is true even within a monastery. In the broad sense).

One of my friends who's applying to dioc. sem. right now said "Well, why don't you just tell them!?" I don't think that's the way to go in almost all cases... um... anyone have a better way of dealing w/this?

[osapientia]

[quote name='InHisLove726' post='1911738' date='Jul 5 2009, 03:45 PM']They are credit card debts, not school loans. Does anyone know of any programs or missions that help people pay off personal debts so they can enter a religious order? I only know of the ones that pay for school loans. I also need to find a way to get a job so I can afford to make trips to some monasteries that I want to visit.[/quote]

Although the bulk of their aspirants are paying off educational debt, The Laboure Society DOES take on aspirants with PERSONAL debt. Have you looked at their web site? Perhaps you can contact them? It's not the easiest way to go you must do the actual work yourself, but someone on this board who entered recently did VERY WELL with them. I know that others have not had it work out for their personal situation and I respect their experience....but perhaps you might try anyway, it might work for you as it has for some others.

Peace

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='osapientia' post='1912664' date='Jul 6 2009, 01:10 PM']Although the bulk of their aspirants are paying off educational debt, The Laboure Society DOES take on aspirants with PERSONAL debt. Have you looked at their web site? Perhaps you can contact them? It's not the easiest way to go you must do the actual work yourself, but someone on this board who entered recently did VERY WELL with them. I know that others have not had it work out for their personal situation and I respect their experience....but perhaps you might try anyway, it might work for you as it has for some others.

Peace[/quote]

I'm rather hesitant to contact them since my debt is so small. It's just a little over $1,000. I don't want to take money that others could use more than I could, especially those who have way more debt. I would rather find somewhere where I could work to pay off my debt. I don't want an easy way out. I made the debt, so I want to be the one to pay it off.

[osapientia]

[quote name='InHisLove726' post='1912698' date='Jul 6 2009, 03:04 PM']I'm rather hesitant to contact them since my debt is so small. It's just a little over $1,000. I don't want to take money that others could use more than I could, especially those who have way more debt. I would rather find somewhere where I could work to pay off my debt. I don't want an easy way out. I made the debt, so I want to be the one to pay it off. [/quote]

I can understand how you feel because your debt is so smal, but you did ask in your original post if anyone knew an programs or missions that took on personal vs educational debt...that is why I offered the information.

Also, working to fund raise for Laboure is hardly the easy way out - just ask anyone who has tried it. With the way that Laboure works, the aspirant does the work to pay off the debt, though the money might not be earned via a "job" one earns every penny of what is paid off and a portion of what is raised goes to continue the work of the foundation.

*edited for typo

Edited July 6, 2009 by osapientia

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='osapientia' post='1912737' date='Jul 6 2009, 02:55 PM']I can understand how you feel because your debt is so smal, but you did ask in your original post if anyone knew an programs or missions that took on personal vs educational debt...that is why I offered the information.

Also, working to fund raise for Laboure is hardly the easy way out - just ask anyone who has tried it. With the way that Laboure works, the aspirant does the work to pay off the debt, though the money might not be earned via a "job" one earns every penny of what is paid off and a portion of what is raised goes to continue the work of the foundation.

*edited for typo[/quote]

I didn't know this. Sorry! I really do appreciate the help. I was reading the website further before replying back to you and discovered that a list of possible candidates and organizations has to be provided by the aspirant. Is that really difficult?

[FiereMargriet]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1911798' date='Jul 5 2009, 04:53 PM']As far as the job search goes, the key is to annoy, annoy, annoy. Wait 3 days after you submit an application and then call them. Say: "I submitted an application a few days ago, and I'd like to come in for an interview." If you go on an interview in the morning, put a thank you note in the mail that same afternoon. If you don't hear back a couple weeks after your interview, call them and ask about the status of your application. If the answer is no, make them tell you no. Make it incredibly hard for them to get rid of you. A lot of employers will want to take the easy way out and just not contact you. Don't let them get away with it.[/quote]

YES YES YES. This is wonderful advice. I'm still in-between childhood/high school and college, but this is how I got my first real part-time job, which ended up being a great experience. In fact, I'm on pretty good terms with my employers (Deo gratias), so it's fun for us to reminisce about how persistent I was in getting the job. (I came back three times and gave my number to three different people before they called me in for an interview.)

InHisLove, check out some restaurants. They are always hiring, even in this economic clime. I'm a hostess in a restaurant and it was/is fun sometimes (depending on your coworkers--look for nice family-owned places, although those might pay less). However, I'm probably one of the most sensitive people ever, so the nights when customers complain are VERY hard to weather sometimes. (The first few months at said job were FANTASTIC...until my second day back at work after my exchange semester, which was a disastrous New Year's Eve.) If you're moderately thick-skinned and like people, go for it! If serving doesn't appeal to you, look for hostessing or food-running positions (although you have to be pretty physically strong/coordinated for the latter). Prayers for you!