melporcristo Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 JMJT Hey all - So ... I just need a little help here. I'm not usually an angry person, esspecially towards my family. But I'm very Choleric (90% according to the Temperaments test I took ...) which means I'm pretty passionate, zealous, and most of the time dramatic. I went to this amazing talk given by a visiting priest about Suffering and the Cross. It was so good. But I realized every once in a while I get into what Father called as the "Drama Vortex" where you just want everything to be about you. So it's been a while since I've gotten really mad and today was like the first time in a looong time. Basically I said some really messed up stuff to both my mom and my 18 yr old brother that I was holding in for a long time. Does anyone else get really mad like this once in a while ...? And what do you do to not let it happen (that Christ would want you to do - because most of the time people with anger probs turn to not so good stuff). Thanks pham - In Jesus & Our Lady, Melissa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Oh Melissa, I wish I could give you some sage advice. I have tremendous issues with anger (I blame being a redhead LOL) but my tendency in the past has been to let it stew. I tend to hold things in for far too long, and the problem with that is that it can lead to bitterness. I have found that Our Lady and even the Father Himself tend to have sympathetic ears. Sometimes I just need to vent and yell about something so that I don't direct it toward someone else. I feel free to just go on a little rant and tell Our Lady all about it...she's very soothing and a very good listener. On a human level, if you have a friend that is a good listener, try telling them some of your frustrations. Sometimes it helps just to get stuff out. Once you let it out, then it's much easier to let go of. I will say a prayer for you. Especially today, ask St. Martha for a prayer, because she certainly understood the frustrations of domestic, everyday life, even when she had the Savior sitting at her table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Don't feel like you are alone. I said something really nasty to my mom last night that caused a lot of stress on my part because I know it was wrong. I got really upset because she wanted me to teach her how to do something on the computer, but I was not in the mood at all. Plus, she was asking a lot of questions and my impatience got out of hand. I know that my reaction was very immature. I still have a lot of growing up to do. Whenever I get upset or angry, I always find that it's best to take a walk to burn off steam. People suggest prayer, but my impatience doesn't allow that. Walking really helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I used to get very angry, and had a chip on my shoulder the size of the Titanic. I had to learn to control it by force practically. After my head injury, it just seemed to go away, which is strange because normally head injuries make you more angry and aggressive. The last time I really lost my temper was when Immigration lost my FBI fingerprint check. My husband said he hadn't heart words like that since he'd been in the Army. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1934927' date='Jul 29 2009, 04:32 PM']I used to get very angry, and had a chip on my shoulder the size of the Titanic. I had to learn to control it by force practically. After my head injury, it just seemed to go away, which is strange because normally head injuries make you more angry and aggressive. The last time I really lost my temper was when Immigration lost my FBI fingerprint check. My husband said he hadn't heart words like that since he'd been in the Army.[/quote] Wonder what the immigration official thought? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 +J.M.J.+ i have a lot of problems with anger and with patience. i'm realizing more and more that getting angry and staying angry is a choice. so is patience. i can choose to be more patient. or i can not. i'm being overly simplistic, i know. but for many years, i (and my loved ones) have suffered because of my anger. it is irrational, and i can blow up at any time. it is devastating, and i'm only now realizing the consequences of my anger upon my children. many times, in the split-second before i blow up, i will have a thought of "is this worth getting this angry?" and many times that has helped me to calm down. unfortunately, it doesn't always happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melporcristo Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 (edited) [quote name='CatherineM' post='1934927' date='Jul 29 2009, 01:32 PM']I used to get very angry, and had a chip on my shoulder the size of the Titanic. I had to learn to control it by force practically. After my head injury, it just seemed to go away, which is strange because normally head injuries make you more angry and aggressive. The last time I really lost my temper was when Immigration lost my FBI fingerprint check. My husband said he hadn't heart words like that since he'd been in the Army.[/quote] LOL oh wow ... Ok thanks - this makes me feel better. REALLY relieved (First, I wrote "a little" but then realized ... no way this actually really helps! ha ha) As a woman, I think it's good for us to let things out & just rant. That's usually how we solve problems. But I don't really have that anymore since I don't have a room mate anymore either. I just have my mom & sister who are pretty busy in their own lives. I was even to the point of just bailing out on pursuing a vocation because I didn't think that such a sinner as myself could be apart of a beautiful religious community. Ah life... Edited July 30, 2009 by melporcristo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melporcristo Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 [quote name='Lil Red' post='1934998' date='Jul 29 2009, 02:50 PM']+J.M.J.+ i have a lot of problems with anger and with patience. i'm realizing more and more that getting angry and staying angry is a choice. so is patience. i can choose to be more patient. or i can not. i'm being overly simplistic, i know. but for many years, i (and my loved ones) have suffered because of my anger. it is irrational, and i can blow up at any time. it is devastating, and i'm only now realizing the consequences of my anger upon my children. many times, in the split-second before i blow up, i will have a thought of "is this worth getting this angry?" and many times that has helped me to calm down. unfortunately, it doesn't always happen.[/quote] Red, have you ever heard of "Faith and Family" magazine? It actually had a REALLY good article on yelling as a parent. I read it very briefly but forgot everything when I got mad ... oh how that happens! But I should scan & post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dauntingknight Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I've had several moments of my own and I'm not proud about them. I don't know where you live or anything else for that matter but, what helped is that I take and axe and split the anger out of me. Then I was too tired to yell then. I have improved a lot over the last few years and now I hardly get angry at all but I still get mad sometimes. My suggestion is find something that takes up your energy and yet benifits somebody else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel*Star Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I found that when I started to take vitamins I stopped yelling at my kids so much. They called them my nice pills. I wonder if I was tired and was less able to control myself. I also find myself angrier when I am pregnant. Poor baby. Wondering what he/she is getting him/herself into. Anyway, I find it I can get enough sleep and eat properly I am able to be kinder and softer in my actions. Sometimes I even amaze myself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 [quote name='InHisLove726' post='1934949' date='Jul 29 2009, 03:59 PM'] Wonder what the immigration official thought?[/quote] They do everything by mail. I never got to meet the official that lost my paperwork. I only got to meet the one who interviewed us to make sure we were in a genuine relationship, and not just pretending so that I could immigrate. He asked the most embarrassing questions, personal questions, and we couldn't do anything about it but answer the questions, or we would have been turned down. Having to describe my husband's genitalia is something I will never forget. Although, when asked to compare him to other men I have seen, I definitely freaked out the official when I said that his were the only ones I had ever seen, so I had nothing to compare them against. He asked me if I used to be a nun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 This thread just kicked me into next week. I've never really been the sort of person that has "anger issues" in the sense that I don't really blow up. I just realized that I DO have anger issues. I realized it tonight when I let my anger over something from last *year* fester so deeply inside of me that it tore me up inside and did a lot of emotional damage, both to myself and others. You'd think I would have figured that out when my confessor sat back in his chair and said "you are vengeful" well over two years ago, but no, I'm slow that way. Glad to know I'm not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Walking usually helps me, with pouring it out to God while walking. Journalling also helps me a lot, as it gets the anger out of my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melporcristo Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1936399' date='Jul 31 2009, 02:08 AM']Walking usually helps me, with pouring it out to God while walking. Journalling also helps me a lot, as it gets the anger out of my head.[/quote] JMJT+ Ahh I do love walking. I'm a jogger but since I've been having problems with my knees, I stopped. AND vitamins very well could be necessary! I detest those things ... but I better start taking them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 "Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now