Pliny Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 There is a priest at our parish who after Mass or other events always gravitates to talking with a particular small family or one of the members of that family. And I have noticed that if I'm talking with that family or a member of that family, if he shows up, he usually dismisses me in some way and ends up talking with them himself. Besides the fact that I find this irritating and sometimes a little hurtful (which I suppose is my problem and I'll have to find a way to conquer my sensitivity), is this correct behavior for a priest? The ironic thing is one day he told me that he is not there to "make friends" and I asked him who he talks to when he needs friends and he said "other priests." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God the Father Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 your avatar is blowing my mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 It'a about time someone noticed it. Any idea where it came from? You have to be old to know from where it originated. (Or at least was popularized). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicCid Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Priests are people too. Should they play favorites? No, of course not. Can they have friends within the parish? Yes, of course. It's also possible that the reason he talks to these people is for ministerial purposes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Marie Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 The above are all correct answers. From the point of view of a religious, if I feel a friendship or connection forming with a family I try to keep it very general until I leave that assignment because you don't want anyone to think you have favorites. After I am changed I feel free to continue the friendship more specifically if the person or family continues contact. It shouldn't ever be a friendship that excludes others though. Having friends is part of good human development. Priests and sisters need to have friends too; friends who are sisters or brothers and friends who are married or single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 This very priest told me that he wasn't at our parish to make friends and that it was crossing some kind of boundary to do so. Yet he not only has a couple of friends that he seems to cling to, and vice versa, but when together, they seem to be shutting everyone out, or maybe I'm taking that too personally. I just know there have been numerous times that when I was having conversations with these people, that when the priest came along, he some how managed to get rid of me and be alone with them. The reason for my post was to know whether there are any norms or rules that apply to religious and priests regarding friendships and associations with parishioners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 are you asking whether we think you are being envious at some level? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary+Immaculate<3 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 "The disciple whom Jesus loved" was John. Jesus had certain followers closer to him than others (Peter, James, John). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oremus1 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 "The disciple whom Jesus loved" was John. Jesus had certain followers closer to him than others (Peter, James, John). was it because he loved them the most, or because they loved Him the most, and gave up everythign to follow Him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 Who was the the "disciple whom Jesus loved" and who was the author of those words? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oremus1 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Who was the the "disciple whom Jesus loved" and who was the author of those words? In your case I think it is inappropriate that you are feeling pain or emotional sensitivity, or even jealousy if the priest is spending more time with others. if you are a girl, I would suggest you have an attraction to the priest on some level beyond that which is normal. if he wants to spend time with a particular family, what business is it of yours? if it is leading to his neglect of his pastoral duties then it is a problem. but if it that you want to spend more time with him, I suggest you spend time with some friends, go out more, etc then you will not feel so bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 In your case I think it is inappropriate that you are feeling pain or emotional sensitivity, or even jealousy if the priest is spending more time with others. if you are a girl, I would suggest you have an attraction to the priest on some level beyond that which is normal. if he wants to spend time with a particular family, what business is it of yours? if it is leading to his neglect of his pastoral duties then it is a problem. but if it that you want to spend more time with him, I suggest you spend time with some friends, go out more, etc then you will not feel so bad You quoted my question but did not answer it. I'm not a girl, I'm not gay, and I don't give a rat's pattoot about attention from the priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oremus1 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 You quoted my question but did not answer it. I'm not a girl, I'm not gay, and I don't give a rat's pattoot about attention from the priest. so why do you seem jealous when he gives attention to the family instead of you? why do you seem to be looking for rules to prohibit him from having friends in the parish? if you are not jealous, then what is the point in this thread? he is doing a great and sacred work, let him be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oremoose Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Who was the the "disciple whom Jesus loved" and who was the author of those words? It is from John's Gospel. And it is traditionally seen as John's way of talking about himself without using his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 It's a great and sacred work for a priest to be in a clique? That's not how I see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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